dziga's blog post - Public versus privates faces (especially NN)

A topic suggested to me by My Love.

I certainly have a sort of "public image" that I put forth. I think that most of us do. I feel that there is nothing dishonest about it, it is just a matter of what parts of me I show in those realms. A quote that I heard that I really appreciate is that if you go out and public and try to find someone who feels like you do (at least when tending towards negative thoughts) you will never find anyone who looks like you feel. Because of that "public image" that we spend our lives creating and perfecting and protecting.

Family, work, recovery circles, generally out in public...I carry an image of seriousness edged with dry wit. Getting things done, being responsible, taking all matters seriously...all the while showing that there is a rebellious side underneath. I have a very non-traditional haircut that is somewhat polarizing. When asked why, my usual response is "to unnerve normal people." I don't think that is too far from the truth. Not enough to create any sort of unsettling response (a non-threatening hairstyle rather than hairstyles that tend to promote a threatening image), but one that raises questions. "This guy can look like that and still approach life effectively" sort of thing. I remember a comment about it from someone at a wedding once: "Business in front, party in the back." Kind of the idea. Casual dress, lots of it non-traditional as well. Sometimes nice but non-traditional (Nehru shirts, normal but unusual colored pants, etc) sometimes just non-traditional casual...lots of hippie stuff.

On NN...much different. Can show the sexual side much more freely. The flirtatious side. Never any real need to be truly serious even though oft times thoughtful on unimportant topics that strike my interest.

I guess part of this started with a thought that I was very, very shy in my younger years and still certainly am to an above average degree. Flirting was certainly not my cup of tea unless drinking. Wasn't even really something I could do unless I was drinking. This led to a pondering thought about how many people on here were possibly of a similar vein and part of the attraction to NN can be to interact in a way different than they do in the real world while still being based upon honest sides of their character...get a sort of freedom that first drinking and then NN has offered at various times to me...