dziga's blog post - Not a big deal for most...

But today marks seven years since my last drink. That is one hell of a long time between drinks for me.

It is kind of a strange thing to know that, even with a lot of strong self control in many areas, the only way for me to successfully deal with alcohol is to not drink it at all. Been watching a friend for about a year and a half...had some good sobriety, drank one night following the pain of leaving his children who are (rightfully) under his exes care. He tried to control it, did surprisingly well for a time. Kept his job for something like six months. The past year though...two handfuls of trips to the hospital, another handful of trips to detox, everything falling apart and in that "drink to pass out. Wake up. Take a drink" stage.

That is me following the loss of absolute abstinence. Even though my head has a hard time understanding that and therefore accepting that, I do know deep down it is true. Posted on someone's status on here what used to be my mantra regarding when it is late enough to drink: "If I'm awake, it is late enough to drink. If I'm still conscious, I haven't had enough." In my book, there is NO reason to drink besides to get drunk, the drunker the better. I never really want one drink, I never really want two drinks...when I drink all I truly want to drink is "MORE!!!"

An alcoholic joke: Alcoholic is deserted on an island. He finds a magic lamp, rubs it, genie shows up and grants three wishes. First wish is for a bottle of booze that never gets empty. He has a ball with it, passes out, wakes up disturbed to see it lying in the sand upside down. Picks it up and magically it is full. The genie is still there and says, "You've still got two wishes left." Alcoholic says, "Great. I'll take two more bottles just like this one."

So that seven years, as ridiculous of a thing that it may sound like to some to look at as an impressive deal, is a pretty huge deal to me.