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I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls with my bare hands. I have been known to remodel corvette engines on my lunch breaks making them much more fuel efficient. I write award winning soap operas. Occasionally I have been known to tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike tuba playing. I can cook thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. I was scouted by the NY Mets as a bat boy. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. Critics world wide swoon over my original line of Corduroy evening wear. My deft flower arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I can hurl tennis racquets at small objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week, and when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me. On weekends, to let off steam,! I participate in full contact orgami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have played MacBeth, performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.