Well its nearly hear.
Taking stock of this year does not make me happy.
Its beeen a long hard year. Lots of things gone wrong, lots of things not right.
There has been some self discovery along the way but thats not really helped me yet, though I am working on it.

I find that I am a much sadder person than entered 2010.
I lost the one person who was keeping me going through all the shit and I have still not worked out why I desevered to be treated as I was.
I know now that I didnt loose much and it was best to loose him before it went any further, if things had been different I could have ended up making a far bigger mistake than I did.In retrospect he lost far more than I did; he lost someone who really loved him not someone who just said they did.

As I have been told and as I know there are people far worse off than me, I will get by.
But I want more than to 'get by' I want to be happy again and at the moment there is a chance of that, if only I can put the past and the present behind me enough.

As the year ends I would just like to thank all those who have taken the time and the trouble to help me, I wont name names because I would be bound to miss somone out but Thank You all of you

Suzzy
xxx

does anyone know how I can start to trust again?
Its 10 or 11 months since my ex dumped me and I still cant bring myself to trust anyone.

Not in real life, not in business and certainly not emotionally.

There is somone I would like to trust but I cant I keep thinking they will end up letting me down sooner or later.

I know I am isolating myself and the more isolate myself the more I resent how I feel.

Ive tried all the self help theroies about keeping busy etc but Im just ending up knackered and over worked

If anyone has any suggestions I would really appreceiate them as I want a new year and a new start

Wakening up to a nice hard cock with a willing and able man at the end of it would be wonderful
Why is it that I'm constantly hearing of women who tell their partners to sleep in underpants and 'Don't let that think drip near me?'I would kill for that experience.
It only happened twice in my life and the last time was marvellous, so much energy and enthusiasm. Seems like a dream now. Sigh

Well it looks like Im back to the sleepless nights dont think im redy to say here why (too many piss takers and gloaters)

Its been a difficult year and there are still3 and a half months of it let. I wonder if anyone would notice if I hibernated till January 1? Actually I doubt it , some would no doubt be relieved.

Thinking about it, I can cope with my problems, things I can blme myself for and do something about, What really does baffle me is things I cant change, things that affect me but are determined by others.
Seem to have spent my life trying not to hurt anyone and being hurt in return

Not sure where Im going wrong

So there I was: ass up in air, red, spanked ass and wet cunt. He pulls my frilly panties down and I wait for him to shove it up.

What does he say?






Sorry gtg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok it was only cyber but some men have no sense of timeing!!!!

I try not to blog when I have nothing to blog about but today will be an exception.
Today has been hot and humid and I find this weather makes me so horny!!
Far more so that hot and sunny , which just makes me want to get out there and fry myself.
I woike this morning, about 6 am, and knew what sort of day it was going to be by the damp patch between my legs.
Fortunately, after a bit of coaxing, the body next to me did decide to co operate with me - for a short while. But sadly it was only the once - anything else would be perverted - im told !!

So its been a day of wet kinickers and aching gspot!!

All suggestions most welcome

xx

I seem to be going through one of those phases where I cant get my mind off sex!
Maybe it is hormonal, maybe it s my age, I dont know but I just want to fuck all the time. Im constantly wet, Im spending far too much time on this site and a certain cock keeps appearing on my windscreen.
As for my knickers I am having to change them at least 3 times a day and the laundry basket is full. Everytime I change my knickers the dirty ones are full of cum!
Im even doing cyber sex which was never my thing. Please no volunteers I have enough kind men willing to talk me through it! Trouble with cyber sex is it wakes my g - spot up and makes it start screaming to get out again.
Roll on next Friday , when h opefully it will get another proper workout!

Gspot Rediscoverer.

Yesterday, with the help of a very nice man off here, I rediscoverd my G-Spot. Ive not heeard from it for a few months but it made an unanounced reapearnce!
And what a reapearance, it seemed to be making up for its lengthy abscence, it staid with us for most of the morning and afternoon. Infact it got to about 3 pm and I just had to send it off home because I was running out of energy!! Otherwise I think it would have carried on and on and on.
Also I did feel a bit guilty about his hand which I guessed was getting not only worn out but waterlogged! I didnt want him going home with a wrist injury and wrinkled fingers.

Anyway, it would seem that the said G-spot is wanting to stick around as it was there this morning when I woke up, as it was hammering away to be stroked, sadly I had to send it away due to other committments.

I am looking forward to feeling more of it in the not too distant future. )

Today is another trip to the beauticians for a Hollywood wax (everything off).

I wish I had taken the plunge years ago instead of all that shaving. It hurts at the time but the hair grows back much more sparsely. It is amazing how little hair does grows, which of course is wonderful!

Admittedly, when I am having it done it hurts like hell, especially when she waxes the bits round the lips, but I do feel its worth the pain which is only instant and soon gone.It also a very strange feeling having another female stood over me looking down at my exposed cunt and pulling out hairs with her tweezers.

The results are a perfectly smooth cunt, no odd hairs as there were with shaving. The first day or so after the waxing the lips do swell up and make it look all puffed up.

After that its a month or so of no maintenance, smooth cunt, all ready and willing to be inspected!!

This Friday will be three months to the day since the last time we met.

I doubt the other party will even remember. But for me it will be significant. After this Friday I will be able to close the final door.

I have moved on a hell of a lot in the last 3 months but the thing that kept drawing me back was the fact that I felt that life was trying to tell me something, but I couldnt quite work out what that something was.

It would have been easy to think that the lesson was, 'dont trust men', but it was men that helped me move on and it was one particular man who took time and trouble to pick up the pieces and stick me back together (sadly this cost him dearly and I very much regret that) so fortunately Im not going to go with that message/lesson.
And then it hit me the message has to be not dont trust but dont depend on anyone too much. Ive always been fairly independent and until I met him I always more or less just relied on myself. Then I got used to talking to someone, discussing ideas and things that had happened, nothing terribly important just ordinary every day things.In retrospect I should not have done so and I think that is the message life was throwing at me.

At first that is what I really missed, haivng someone I could trust to talk to about ordinary everyday things, someone who actually seemd to listen and be interested. However, it appears I had it wrong. I wont risk being let down like that again, my gran was right when she used to say , 'Dont rely on anyone else for anything'. It is easy to forget, as we get older, the lessons our childhood taught us, I wont ,not again.


I am ctually looking forward to this Friday; Im spending the morning with a new friend and the Afternoon with someone who helped me through the shit, someone who I respect a lot and who perhaps Ive not always been that nice to (but isnt that what a real friend is someone you dont alwys have to be polite and nice to?.In the evening Im off out on my own which again is great I need time to myself,(I believe very much that if you cant enjoy your own company how can you expect others to?) and then I shall bolt the final door and raise the drawbridge. Its over and the lesson is learnt.

Only regret is that the sex was out of this world