hapyjacq's blog post - yesterday

i wanted to blog soooooo bad but it just didn't seem right with the day and all... ya see we picked 9/11 as our day cause we knew we'd always remember it... kinda bitter sweet day for me now cause i'm always so excited when it comes and then i feel bad for being happy... but anyway... as of yesterday the hubby and i have NOT smoked for 3 years.... yay!!! never in a million gazillion years did i think i could say something like that....

on another note i also wanted to blog about al and dale (yesterday that is)....they came by my work yesterday and brought the whole office donuts.. to sweet of them... they had been getting along famously till last nite....al left his place at 4 am this morn and took the bus home...he's crushed which of course breaks my heart..i guess he had (way back when him and dale had first met) wrote some notes to a friend saying some really shitty stuff about dale on his my space...last nite dale read it... he's hurt..probably angry too...says he can't trust alan... al just keeps telling me he fucked up ...well alan keeps telling me loads of stuff...

the truly shitty thing about it all is... well for 1 i can't put in my 2 cents...not to them at least but i can here...my opinion is that at that time al was just letting or begining to let people know about him... he's always kept up a good defense... he wasn't fully comfortable with himself so well you know... but the thing that really kills me is alan his whole life you know has been a happy kid but... there was always this kind of anger vibe you could get off him... when he met dale...got out of school it was like poof that was gone.. he was really for the first time in his life (not counting when he was like 5 and under)truly happy ... you could see it ...in everything ... his face ... his demeanor...his talk.... just everything.. that i don't want to go away... scares me that it could but.... i've rattled enough... i just hope it all blows over...

happy friday everyone and have a great weekend.... mwa jacquie

ps the dale/alan part of the blog was supposed to be happy not the downer it turned