howlin's blog post - Unforgiven?

Friday, May 1, 2015, 8:23:02 PM
Some of you already know some may not but heres my story, in 2005 my dad passed away from cancer he new well ahead of time he was terminal and we had some good talks prior to his passing, one conversation in particular we had he asked me to give him my word that after he was gone to look after my mom as best as possible, I agreed and gave him my word to do just that, times have changed and after paying for her assisted living for a while then bringing her to our home for the past 19 months its gotten to be much harder than I ever imagined when I agreed to do this, but hes gone and I cant tell him its too hard and much more than I can do anymore, so what can I do and will he understand if I choose to facilitate her? IDK anymore I do know over the years its cost me a fortune in money and life in general, Ive beat addictions more than once, and because of the lifestyle I live Ill have to live with some of the things Ive done and seen for the rest of my life but to go back on my word is the worst and especially to the one man that gave me and showed me so much in life, can I be forgiven or will this decision haunt me daily for the rest of my life?, its time actually its past time and had I not gave my word it would have been time long before now, I sit and listen to this song and think about this a lot, maybe too much

Comments

Others Have Said: 
juicy on 2-May-15 3:18:40
You have your answer. You said it without realising it. You agreed to care for her "as best as possible" Now you just have to figure out what is best for the both of you.

lovitt on 2-May-15 5:43:47
"As best as possible." It was one of the hardest things I've done. Just go see her as often as possible.

hisprincess62 on 2-May-15 21:46:18
You are now and have always been an amazing man. You've done all the right things and deserve only happiness. Take heart and love yourself for all you've done and overcome and keep pushing forward.

OldTroubador on 3-May-15 2:15:15
Brother, you and I have talked a lot about this. You have, as others bfore me here have said, fulfilled the "as best as possible" part. I know that you have done your best. But when caring for anyone impacts your life negatively, you have to take the time to look after yourself. Because if you dont, then what good will you be to your mom, or anyone else? As a wise man told me just a few weeks ago, it is time, for probably the first time in your life, to put yourself first.
I walk arm in arm with you, on this difficult journey, as your brother.