iloveshay's blog post - broken heart

and if you want to know why all you have to do is read mine and "shevyrat"'s blogs. i met shay (shevyrat=shay) awhile back at a country bar. she got me into this whole nn thing. no problem.
this is the problem. i am head over heals for this girl. i know all about her past relationship. she really loved the guy. i have been married before as well, that went down the drain right along with my bank account. i hate the bitch so i don't know what it's like to still be in love with the ex. before i met shay it was just casual sex and having fun. i fell for shay and i did it hard. we have great times together and fun. the sex is FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!! i am comepletly in love with her. but she is still in love with her ex. so here is my problem.

i don't want to be second best. i don't want to have to fill someone else's shoes. i don't want to be compared to any other guy. not that shay does this aloud or even at all i don't know. those are just my fears coming into play while loving a girl that is in love with the ex. she says she loves me too. is that possible for a woman to love two men? am i setting myself up for heartache? but when i think of not being with her that breaks my heart. but if she is still missing and thinking of her ex- WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!?! this is where i put my foot down on looking like a pussy.

what if her ex comes back? shay has told me that there is no way in hell that would ever happen. he is in another relationship where he is happy. but it has happened with her and him before.
as i am writing this i am getting more and more mad. so shay this is where i am drawing the line.

when you are over your ex and i know for sure that it is me that you are thinking about at night, give me a call. i do love you very much and that is the problem. but until you decide where you want your heart to be or where it is at, i can't risk getting my heart broke.

i love you shevyrat and hopefully you will figure things out soon. i will wait but not forever.