janusthorn's blog post - On the NN therapist couch...

Tuesday, August 30, 2016, 9:12:29 AM

So, somebody else who knows a little of how I feel but decided to write to a newspaper agony aunt about it. Read this - http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/aug/29/havent-had-sex-with-my-wife-for-eight-years-becoming-obsessed?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Now, I find my partner totally irresistible and I am happy to be a carer. Being robbed of our sex life though is a horrid thing. We talk about it a lot but she is nowhere near as bothered (let's face it there are bigger issues) and has accepted her physical limitations.
It really does bother me though and while she says she is happy for me to go out and get some occasionally, I guess I feel a bit of the guilt this guys feels about playing with himself (Not a guilt I feel). But that said, I really am a sexually motivated person - hence my 8 years on this site!
I know it is selfish, I know that I should be more bothered about the real stuff in real world land than whether I get laid, and I know some will judge me for this post. Well, yeah. I get it. But, sex is important to me and I don't want to spend the rest of my life without it. My partner makes me happy in most other ways so, maybe, I should just be happy with what I've got and deal with it.
Thanks for reading (if you did!), this is the only place where I have been able to let this out.

Comments

Others Have Said:

mermaid_hunter69 on 30-Aug-16 12:15:41

As a carer who also has a practically none existant sex life at home i can relate to this .
I have found other ways to feel sexy and fill that gap in my life , but it doesnt change the fact that i feel guilty every day

janusthorn on 30-Aug-16 13:48:21

Thanks, Mermie. It always helps to know we, none of us, are alone in these situations.

Persephone_brown on 30-Aug-16 22:59:22

This is a very courages post. It can't have been easy to write, but it is so important to write. Guilt is a very complex emotion too often regarded as simple one. Mastery of one's perception is a big ask. I found this moving, i wish i knew what the right answer is xxxx

janusthorn on 30-Aug-16 23:10:11

Me too, Persephone. If i ever find the right answer for me, I will share it. X