fuck you!!!

your know what works best for me? the fact I think you can all kiss my ass and go to hell. the sheriff and even all his deputies are afraid of me, even my dad knows not to fuck with me. fuck you all, kidblue. never ate shit, and never will even though I'm out numbered. carved out my own corner without anyone's help, and never will go down without fighting. fuck you, I think pretty much most of the world is just shit...anyway. don't worry, don't need sympathy, have money, lawyers, and gristle in my carved up gut! we might like to believe that their is some supernatural cosmic force watching over us, get real. if you can't get real, then just get what you need to survive, I understand, kidblue. (stay off my property!)

after signing off my blog a little while ago, I crashed out. was suddenly awakened when wind started howling again like a freight train. craweled over lisa and amy and looked outside. blizzard in full force again only with winds even harder, approximately 50 mph+. snow blowing sideways, etc. blizzard back!!! temp. 0 degrees without wind chill. went into kitchen and threw a couple of more logs on the fire. was relieved to find Rain in front of fire, he usually sleeps at foot of bed. I was sleeping light anyway because of stress I've been having to deal with last 2 weeks, but have told no one about. I wanted to keep this blog upbeat, but so be it! I have had 2 broken backs and one broken neck in my life, a long time ago, the worse from being thrown by a horse. after my broken neck, the nuerosurgeon told me some day I might have some serious, serious, complications which he showed me in an MRI. Well, 2 weeks ago I started have serious (but mostly temporary) paralisus in my hands and arms, but could get feeling back when I moved my neck around. I have had this before, but never to the extent I have now. during the last week I have not been able to regain all the feeling back as I have been able to do before, and the paralisis seems to be spreading slowly. when I called my doc, she read my old records from the neurosurgeon and informed me it was probably not one of my blown discs, but rather where the spinal cord attaches to the brain in the base of the scull(i.e. brain stem) as I already knew. surgerical outcomes are quite dismal. (I am not afraid of dying as much as being a quadripalegic). she called my nuerosurgeon, who scheduled me for an MRI on Monday morning at 8:00am and an appointment later in his office that same day as he felt this is quite serious. I guess I have just put this shit out of my head over the years due to all the other medical shit, cancer surgeries and etc, but now apparently more chickens have come home to roost. I am the one who has always had to take care of others and am in no position to be laid up as others depend on me. family, animals, etc. I have told no one as I am just secretly hoping for good news on Monday. It has been eating away at me. I have been hiding the paralysis from my dad the last 2 weeks, and lately from amy and lisa. hope it works out. feels good to get it out. don't like to talk about stuff like this, hate sympathy. but if a blog is for talking about what is important to the blogger, this is what has been going on with me. going to have some more drinks now and take some pills so I can get back to sleep. all my love, kidblue (p.s. no sympathy comments please, hate winers and refuse to become one myself!)

thanks for your comments cassie. thinking about shuting blog down as it's just not exciting, ok, I realize the truth, I' m not exciting either, sometimes that's just the way it is. I knew it needed some spicing up, but unfortunately, the weather channel is problably more exiting than this! I asked some friends to send some really dirty messages to me on my public blog to spice things up, only people I have exchanged private dirty messages with that really were dirty and excited me personally. no response. ok. I probably would not be excited by my blog either. thanks to all of you who have responded and read my blog. especially kassie... she is very popular yet has the time to check out my weather(sorry I don't have more to add)blog. I am pretty messed up as we have been snowed in for some time. I guess, now, I can spend more time looking at sexy pics and videos, and less time spilling my guts. Maybe that's a better thing, all my love, kidblue

woke up this morning with lisa playing with cock and amy watching, took me awhile to come to life as I was still high from night before. winds still, no new snow, peacefull. lisa started going down on me, and when I came I was looking deep into amy's eyes. I haven't come that hard in a long time. this girl turns me on. spent day doing chores while lisa and amy did some baking. it's beautiful out here now that the wind has gone away and you can enjoy the view. all my love, kid blue (I think I came so hard because I was sharing my soul with amy)

It was snowing full bore all night and all day with 30 mph winds again today. Got pop into his doc ok with little trouble, all things considered. found couple on way into civilization on county road stuck in snow and no cell phone reception. hooked tow strap to their vehicle and pulled them through snow about 5 miles to county road that had been plowed so they could get back to town, they were lost, and were waiting for a plow, i told them that on this road that far out, we won't see a county plow for many days. they had only been stuck a couple of hours luckily.
picked up Lisa and her friend who wanted to come out with her to the ranch. I know her as she came out with Lisa about 2 years ago when she was visiting from Ca. like this time. They went to high school togather. I remember she was pretty cool last time she was up here and came out. always room for more out on the Gopher Ranchette! Dad's face looks like someone chopped him with an axe, but they said they got all the cancer again. he's a tough old bird.
Put the girls to work with a snow blower and shovel on patio around hot tub. I went out and rounded up some critters on snowmobile that needed to stay closer to livestock sheds and feed area. horses had already moved themselves under cover, checked on all critters, so far so good. saw that chickens were doing ok and all tank heaters were keeping ice down and everyone was doing ok. when it storms this bad, even the coyotes and foxes stay put.
the girls were able to remove snow from around hot tub enough to make it very usuable. they had a good snow blower and plenty of booze, good combination!
Lisa's friend never got into our sex thing last time she was up here, but was not skitish when we did. hope this time she loosens up some, but ok either way as far as I care. we all spent time alternating between hot tub and house. fortunately, the hot tub is in the courtyard protected on three sides by buildings from the wind. it is however just out from underneath the main patio cover by design, so as to have open sky above, which I love. even if it's snowing, you are warm in the tub because you sheltered from the wind. I spent alot of time many years ago designing all this out, and now it finally pays off.
Amy was never shy about her body as we are not either, and I was comfortable around her because Lisa had already told her about all my terrible scars from all the years of cancer surgeries. I am not shy around friends, but would never put on a horror show for others. Just glad to be alive, even my doctors didn't know if I'd live, some times they didn't think I was strong enough to survive another surgery, but I made them go ahead as I knew it was my only shot. couple of times thought about eating a .45 when changing bloody catheters blocked up with blood clots, alone in winter, waiting to die. well, fortunately things worked out.
went to visit blog of nubie nude friend tonight and saw that all were sad because of fire that burned all belongings, but people were safe. It's hard to start over, I've lost every thing in a flood once, family albums, etc. it's tough. didn't know what to say as I could tell people in this blog were close and knew each other which I did not. simple said sorry as I felt I should say something, but if I said any more, might be intruding. going to go check on pop out in his place and then wake up the girls(they're all wore from working and drinking) I can relate. Lisa said last time Amy was here, she was really checking Angie out alot in the tub and etc. Maybe should have Angie out here to get things rolling, oh well, too late for that, we're sealed off now for hopefully the rest of the week, barring unforseen medical emergency. need to go now and try to have real life fun instead of living vicariously through nudes. Lisa cracked up when she saw me oggleing Amy's ass in the hot tub today, hope she snitched me out, need all the help I can get. all my love, kidblue

after kassie commented on my blog a couple of days ago, I went to her blog. it had been viewed 71,113 times. holy crap! I came back to mine and saw it had been viewed 52 times. Am going to take a valium now and go to sleep. all my love, kidblue (thanks to my 52 blog viewers, I appreciate you now even more ever!)

I think I got everyone unblocked now, will keep checking to make sure, sorry, I suck on the computer as you all know by now.
I have not been on the computer for the last day and a half because this storm has required all my attention to keep things going out here. It snowed 16 hours straight with 30 mile per hour winds leaving huge snow drifts. My dogs will tunnel into the drifts and completely disapear like a giant gopher until they finally decide to burst out in another location. it's pretty cool to watch, they are snow dogs and well acclimated to the cold. more than me! I plowed my road out twice yesterday and once today as it started snowing again today. it looks like it will snow all week heavy. if you get behind on your road in snowfall like this, you are screwed. the county doesn't usually plow this far out, but if I keep my own plowed, I can always make it the rest of the way in a 4x4. I have to get pop (91) into his doc on Monday so that's why I have been so diligent. I have only 4x4's and one all wheel drive Subaru Outback. In light snow the Outback is ok, but tomorrow I will have to take my truck that sits high and is equiped with a winch. It is set up especially for trips like this, but my poor old pop can't climb up into it, so I will have to take a stepping stool for him to get in and out. One of my milf friends that was out last week is bored so I told her we'd pic her up after the doc visit and bring her out as has some days off work. It will be nice to have company, as always, especially someone to curl up with during the storm.
I have enjoyed everyone's messages, it is nice to connect people's comment with their pics. I will post some pics as soon as I get caught up with everything, at least I will try...I have all the equipment but have never actually tryed. Mabe before I'm done, I can block some more people! oh well, still on learning curve, i can hear wind outside, sounds about 30mph again, and it's still snowing so I'm setting my alarm to go out around 4am to plow. wish I had some interesting sex stuff to write about. maybe when my friend comes out with me tomorrow I will, I'm sure I will as she is as perverted as I. all my love, kidblue (will make sure I have something better than this next time)

craig cancelled trip out to ranch as blizzard, killer blizzard moving in. he drives some little geo car so it was probably a good decision. I have spent day loading livestock feeding truck, laying out good hay in barn for goat and dog bedding, making sure emergency generators are gassed up and ready to fire, moving more fire wood from woodshed to inside kitchen, also hooked up feeding truck to engine warmer and battery emergency start. this will be the first really big kick ass storm of the winter. it is much later than usuall, and i am ready. i love a big blizzard that shut's every thing down. the peacefulness after the storm is gone is so cool, nothing moveing, quiet, white snow drifts over everything as far as the eye can see. often you can go a week or two without seeing another human trace anywhere. burning wood in the stove, dogs curled up in a pile staying warm, i feel almost like the snow is protecting me from the outside world, i guess it really is since i am so isolated.
i also dread the moving in of winter as it is a survival test. i prepare all summer for winter as it is a battle between me and mother nature. i know how bad it can be and am always prepared as i feel almost like if i survive the winter, I know I will live another year. I am not afraid of death, dying is easy, I see it every day around me. Living, now that is the hard part. Nature can be a cruel mistress.
Rain has been under my computer desk for the last hour pushing his head hard against my leg. He know's this is his last winter as he is very old and wise. He is half wolf and the Alpha male of my dog pack as well as my best friend. We both understand nature, and through our unbreakable bond I will ease him from this life as gently as possible to the next, as he would do me. ying and yang. his spirit will not die but live on inside of me and his pack he has nurtured and taught over the many years. in my next life i may be pushing my head hard against his leg as i face my transition, and I know he will guide me as I guided him.
once again i somehow put two girls who responded to my blog on the blocked list again as i have done accidentally before. sorry i'm so bad on the computer. i think i got you back off. will double check tomorrow to make sure. thank you for your messages, it makes me feel like i am still somehow connected to the big world out there.
rain must feel peace inside once again as he just got up and went outside toward the barn, he is checking on the dogs and the goats which he thinks are just really ugly dogs. he is happy because he knows his life has meaning out here. even when i don't put responsiblity on him, he seeks it out. if more people could behave like dogs, the world would be a better place. you might laugh, but in times of crises, dogs have never let me down, loyalty is something well sought after but seldon achieved under duress.
ok, I'm losing my buzz, am going to hit the party mix now and look at some hot pics. I can see out the window that the snow is blowing around sideways and drifting up to the windows. it will be a good night out on the ranch. wish i had some of you sexy girls out here, even just one. another log on the fire, all my love, kidblue

I had all kinds of stuff I wanted to say tonight but got sidetracked by a girl from Scotland. I had a best friend many years ago that used to live up on the big mountain in an old hunting cabin on the south end of my property. His name was Ron, a former Marine who got his left leg and right arm blown off in Vietnam. He was a tresspassor whom I got into a big fight with one night for being a douche and prick. afterwards, he lived in that piece of shit cabin at 11000ft elevation cabin for 6 or 7 more years. He found out that I'm enough of a prick to knock the shit out of him (even though he didn't have an arm and a leg((I'm a disabled vet also so get off my ass!!!)) and became my best friend. as the years went by, he started to travel some. he had a good pension, its hard for the VA to screw you when you've got big pieces missing, he eventually went to Ireland, Scotland, and then Holland. I miss Ron alot. He used to call me from Holland but eventually drifted off to his happiness. Maybe some day I will do the same as he always sent me good intelligence reports of where life was good. Untill all animals die off before me, I remain to take care of everyone, to the behanst of all dicks surrounding me at Fort Apache. Wouldn't want to leave anyway, I guess I'm in it for the long haul anyway! this fucking blog is taking up so much of my time, I'm not getting to look at as many naked women as I want to! oh well, Craig is coming out to the ranch tomorrow and he is all jacked up over looking at alot of dicks on newbie nudes! he is gay and needs all the naked men he can get. will try to cover computer room in pastic tonight before I go to bed. your pal, kidblue