kittykats1's blog post - Tell me why...

Sunday, March 4, 2007, 9:38:25 PM

Tell me why people lie?

I have been pondering something the past couple days. It has been bothering me a great deal, but I just couldn't find the words till now to express how I feel. What the situation was was bad enough, it should never ever have happened, but to then find out that you were lied to? You were assured it would never ever happen. Then you find out otherwise. Why make a promise that has no intention of being kept? Is it just pretty words you spout to make you feel better about what you intended to do all along, because you knew I would disapprove if you were to tell me the truth? What is worse? risking disapproval or being caught in a lie? I think the latter is far worse. Bad judgement and disapproval fade, but loss of trust can be a forever thing. I really really hope it was all worth it to you because you have no idea how far reaching the ramifications will be, and what you may lose in the end will far outweigh whatever you thought could be gained in a few stupid, stolen moments. Time will tell, but like I said, I hope every second of it was worth the risks you have opened yourself up for.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: the hum of my hard drive

Comments

Others Have Said:

amcut on 5-Mar-07 2:33:17

Your blog is so well written!

Quite tasty - To the subject, I feel it's always worse to hold something back from someone.. honesty is far too important to throw out the window.

tosslebottom on 5-Mar-07 10:22:33

Amazing. Couldn't have said it better myself.

kermie62 on 5-Mar-07 11:29:40

It must also be said that trust is important but that trust must be built on fertile ground. It is not automatic and approval must not be withheld or threatened or implied. Too many people seek honesty then later use what they have learnt to later hurt the person who trusted them. When this happens it is later hard to trust others

GioFromItaly on 5-Mar-07 14:23:59

people lie because they are human... sometimes they don't lie, they just hide. And hiding is a way to not hurt. But not always it works.

Hiding Gio

kittykats1 on 5-Mar-07 18:04:54

To Kermie62 - A lie is a lie. Promises and assurances should never be made if they have no intention of being kept. It is just empty words at that point; meaningless and wrong. I don't deal in lies, they always have a nasty habit of coming back to haunt, and often cause more damage in the end. In my world trust is automatic until someone chooses to break it. I don't believe in conditional trust, where some are above others. Everyone is equal until they choose to tread upon it. If it means little to them, I have to accept that, as it is their choice. But I don't have to like it, nor leave myself open to being tread upon again

kermie62 on 5-Mar-07 23:43:35

There is honesty about little things that are easy to handle (did you eat that last cookie) but there is also honesty about greater things where trust, privacy, independance and self come into play particularly when direct questions are asked. For example if a person who in themselves is trustworthy asks you a question but you know that thier partner openly moniters thier conversations and reads thier mail and is quite boastful about it, do you be honest in that situation knowing that information may be dispersed to people you dont wish to share it with, do you refuse to answer which of course in many times actually answers the question or are you xxxxxx to be misleading or dishonest to protect your own privacy and the most basis rights of self. Honesty and trust inplies a set of ethics and surely in direct dealings with that persons partner, the ideas of trust and honesty run counter intuative to those values that partner is espousing. Foir myself in those situations
It is too easy to be black and white and demanding of these things and set ourselves up as moral police as we see too often with the christian and islamic radicals. For myself I have a set of ethics I apply to myself and hold trust to be important and I hold honesty of and by myself to be important as is maintaining the trust given to me. I do not seek or demand it in others, thier path is thier path, thier history is theier history and I will believe people but make my own assessments based upon thier actions and thier words and behave with them or give them a degree of trust accordingly. I do not judge but simply decide how I respond to them. I can control my own behaviour but not others and have no right to demand it of others except where it is harming those unable to protect themselves which I suppose is the ethos of this site in a nutshell

kittykats1 on 6-Mar-07 2:11:07

Kermie, what you have just said is neithe rhere nor there. The situation I am discussing is this: A certain someone told me multiple times that they had no intention of doing a particular thing. Assured me that never in a million years would it ever happen, and how could I think it ever would? As if I was daft for even considering it a possability! And lo and behold, IT happened. And they even lied about it to someone else. That is the matter at hand, not anything else. Not who reads who's mail, or whatever. it about lies and the pain they cause. Not just to the people who have been lied to, but consider the backlash that follows said situation. You are talking apples while I am talking oranges, my love. The basic fact is that someone I cared very much for lied to me and others. Possibly from the get go. I really don't know, because that person isn't telling. I can gladly take so much from the ones I love, except when it comes to lies. I would rather someone come to me and slap me across the face than lie to me. That pain is fleeting, but the lies leave much deeper scars