kittykats1's blog post - Someone please explain.....

Saturday, December 1, 2007, 10:30:46 AM

The funeral was yesterday. (it's 2:00am, Saturday morning) I fell into bed as soon as we got home. I woke up a bit ago and now I can't sleep. All I can say is it was an utterly bizarre and confusing day. I keep trying to make sense of it all but I can't seem to. I actually feel oddly numb. I didn't cry once. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so strange and hollow? Why was everyone around me weeping but I was just staring off into space and wishing I was a million miles away? I don't know why I feel so disassociated and it scares me. The whole day all I could think of was "I want to go home and go to sleep." I was desperate to do that and now after crawling into my bed and succumbing to the exhaustion, I am stuck here - awake and unable to go back to sleep. WTF?

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The hum of my hard drive

Comments

Others Have Said:

Coma Black on 1-Dec-07 12:25:03

It's the minds way of protecting itself. I do it all the time. I call it robot mode. It is scary especially the first time, but when your ready to deal with it, you will.

lovitt on 1-Dec-07 14:26:37

You're in autopilot, getting through it.
It's really an aid to you. Embrace it in your thoughts instead of resisting it, and it'll help you. My condolences.