.....day today!!

upright hairs on back of neck and all that jazz......see if you can spot the twat who bails on his body surf?!!!.......yep....you guessed it!!

TURN IT UP...........and fuck the neighbours....

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99I7gpswhQ4&feature=channel_page[/url]

.............or just wear little pink ipod type earphones.....like what i do!!

wife says to husband, "if you cycle to work we could get rid of the 2nd car."
Husband retorts, If you take it up the arse and give head we can get rid of the swedish nanny!!"

well it made me giggle....dunno why!!

....the one on shoulders!!

Thanks to you REAL women.....you know who you are.....for a great laugh in chat last night.....but i really feel you should all chip in and pur chase a bulk supply of gold larmay man nappies for yours truly.....least you can do!!!

Apologies to ev1 else for having to endure more drunken drivel than normal!! lol

Couldnt believe it.........them united states.....full of yanks!!! Whats all that about then?!!

/wb me xx

summer.....doncha just love it?!! Woke up in a particularly fine mood this morning and decided to try a half sensible blog (first time ever)......load of owl shyte that idea was!!! So bollix to it all.....im off on me hols in 10 days.....prepare yourself these here united states of hamerica.....the irish addams family will soon be upon your shores! You excited yet?? I am -

Smoooth tune.....

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUAgGtf5xlY[/url]

Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.

AVOID being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.

TAKE your dustbin to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

PUTTING just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue, and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.

DON'T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenyaafter graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.


The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.


Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

He summoned up ALL his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs

and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.



Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant at all!! PMSL


in response to all recent comments from sex addicts (and MD) who reckon im a nut........who's laughing now eh??!!! lol

BE WARNED ...

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.

It's just spam!

Daft.....but made me cackle out loud....not hard is it?!!!

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

'hey you, what's your disability?'

I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'


-----------------------------
Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.

'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'


----------------------------------------------------------------

A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.

His wife replies 'You've got a bigger knob than your brother'

Excerpted from an article which appeared in The Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2nd. This is a true story!!!!

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat lads.'

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered little bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'....

you just knew it didnt ya?!!!! hahaha