lil sis's blog post - what i get from being a sub

If you get your information about the D/s community from the media then you may think some one like me has self esteem issues or low self value images but you would be wrong. The media portrays this lifestyle in an inaccurate stereotype that is both ignorant and prejudice. In the view of the world i am a submissive to Another, and His slave, making me lower than the lowest. He has taken my will and i must serve His every whim or be punished. He can use me as He chooses and abuse me as He desires. i am a weak powerless person who does not feel good enough about myself to stand up to the abuse and leave. i am dominated and motivated by fear.

In reality i am most valued property, a treasured asset, loved and cherished beyond the capabilities of most of the people who believe the medias hype. my power was never taken from me. i am a strong vigorous beautiful individual who chooses to give my submission to my Master and His slave. i love to be used as He chooses. It brings me great pleasure to do everything i can to make Him comfortable and happy. i would do anything for His smile and to hear His sweet voice utter the words “Good girl.” He can abuse me as He desires, but He does not. i am a pain slut. i get off on it, and the worst thing He could do to me would be to shut me out and not give me that encouragement and attention i crave at His hand.

i have never felt more powerful, desirable, adored, appreciated, respected, prized or loved in all my life. i am motivated by my love for these people. my natural cravings as a submissive to give satisfaction to my Master. It brings me the greatest of pleasure to know that i have done everything with in my power to bring Him joy. i sleep well at night, between the two most loving people i have ever met knowing that i bring comfort and satisfaction into their lives. i fear only the loss of them in my life, but i do not dwell on the future sorrows, instead i focus on each day and making them as happy as i can.

i love to hear them laugh. You never see that on TV when this lifestyle is portrayed. All i have ever seen is unhappy slaves, chained and mistreated, yelled at unappreciated, devalued and abused. That is not my life. We are a happy family. We spend a lot of time laughing and doing fun things. i have compared our life to that show Leave it to Beaver, but with a kink. we live mostly with the values of the 19050’s TV family the Cleavers. Sir like Ward is the undisputed head of our house hold. When asked for our opinion or input on any matter pauline and i will happily advise Sir as to our desires. Sir considers our input, our needs and what would be best for us all and makes the final decision and we abide by His wishes.

we show Sir respect in many little ways as well as in the major ones. When meals are served we offer Him His plate first. He gets His choicest picks. Sir likes the end pieces of home made bread, meat loaf, BBQ Pork roast etc. we reserve those for Him because we know He enjoys them. we are proud of our Master and we enjoy helping Him look His best. we comb His hair fresh from the shower, i love doing this, it makes me feel close to Him. i enjoy touching Him when ever i may. (His hair is long and silky and getting these glorious blond highlights.) pauline gives Him manicures and pedicures so His fingers and toes look their best and because He enjoys it. she trims his facial hair and keeps Him tidy.

i take great pleasure in doing the laundry. i have never felt like it was a chore or unappreciated. i like doing the dishes and even scrubbing the toilet is a pleasure for me. i take pride in the fact that i am making our environment more pleasant to live in. i thrive in this lifestyle caring so much for others that i would do anything for them.

we have an honesty between us that often is not found in today’s society. we must have trust in this relationship for it to survive. Not everyone was honest in the 50’s, but a deal closed on a handshake was more likely to be honored than it would be today. we are able to talk about anything and work thru any situation that arises because we are honest and claim responsibility for our actions. No one here blames another for their feelings or misunderstandings. we simply tell one another how we feel and work through it together. we don’t scream at each other or fight. we show one another the respect we deserve and talk about everything. There are no secrets, no deceptions, not even half truths.

Then there is the sex. Sir takes immense enjoyment out of seeing pauline and i have fun together. He derives tremendous pleasure from our pleasure. Having two such awesome lovers so focused on my needs and desires is so fantastic that i have to pinch myself sometimes to see if i am dreaming. (Well i settle for Sir pinching me, lol, that’s His job.) i have never had anyone so in tune with my body. They know just what it takes to bring me to orgasm and they use that knowledge and skill to perfection. pauline is an empathetic. she picks up on what i am feeling and senses my moods. she always knows when to hold an orgasm back from me until just the right moment making it all the sweeter when i find release. she knows when i can not hold there for another second and gives me that final push over the edge, giving me release and a glimpse of euphoria, but only after permission has been granted by Sir.

Sir is a student of human nature. He has a natural curiosity about life and people that has trained Him to scrutinize people with the ability to see them in a better light then many see them selves. When He looks at me i feel like i am His whole focus. we have a safe word, but i have forgotten it. i do not feel that i will ever need it. Sir knows how to read my body. He understands that when my eyes are tearing during a spanking it is the joy of the pleasure i find in the pain that makes me cry. He knows that it is the ecstasy in the pain that makes my body jerk, twitch and tremble. He sees that i find release in our play time and that i trust Him completely with my body mind and soul. He is an expert in reading people and i am an open book to Him.

People at work have asked me what i get out of being a submissive, or will i get a butt load of cash when i reach a point in my life when i can become a slave. i tried a time or two to explain that if someone were choosing this lifestyle for money they would be doing it for the wrong reasons. i have not seen pauline and Sir’s contract and don’t know if there is a part about the slave owning anything, but the few i have read during me research on the net have said everything the slave owns becomes the sole property of the Master.

i know that Sir is a most generous Owner and not the most typical of Masters. He allows pauline and i times of freedom to masturbate at our will and orgasms that enable us to be healthy, happy people. He encourages us to find things we enjoy doing to seek a well balanced life that is conducive to our well being. Like pauline’s gardening and my arts. He has never said per say that the money i earn belongs to Him to use as He sees fit, but i believe that it is understood that everything i earn or own is to be used for the betterment of the family. Whether that means spent for His enjoyment or saved for the future. i pay a bit from each check towards the bills, and the rest has been going in to savings. Again i trust Sir to make responsible decisions concerning finances.

Sir is not the kind of person who would take everything for selfish purposes and offer nothing in return, if He were i would not be offering Him my gift of submission. Those type of actions would make Him unworthy of the love, respect and honor He has earned along with my trust.

So what do i get out of being a submissive? i get the satisfaction of doing a good job in taking care of Sir and pauline’s needs. i get to feel empowered by my choice to submit to only One and letting other peoples demands fall on deaf ears. i get a sense of pride from being accepted as being worthy to be allowed into Sir and pauline’s select few of close friends. i get to be owned and cherished by the finest man i have ever met. i get Sir’s protection for the hardships in life that snagged me and held me from reaching my potential in the past. i get the respect and love of two of the greatest people on earth. i get Sir’s intellect in dealing with decisions that pinned me in place with uncertainty in the past. i get Sir’s encouragement to be a better person. i get to be the healthiest, most well balanced, happiest, most loved, treasured, knowledge seeking, prized, content, helpful, nurtured, giving, loving, useful, self improving, empowered, stable, responsible, strongest person i have ever been to this day.

i think to many people are to selfish to comprehend this. They expect monetary gain for the freedom they think they would be losing. Yet they run around trying to please friends and family members because they are expected to. They buy X-mas gifts while making lists of things they hope to get, not really finding pleasure in the giving. They cook for their family not finding joy in the action, just doing what is expected and living the life that they have been spoon fed since birth as normal.

i have been determined to be abnormal. i am glad in this. Thank the heavens i am saved from a normal sheep existence and that i can live out side of the herd. Sir is my Sheppard and i am His circus sheep, trained to jump through fire for Him, walk a tight rope, dance the hootchy cootchy or service the masses of the herd if that is His desire. He keeps me safe and treats me well and the rewards of being Owned by Him are to numerous to count.

i love you Sir and pauline. i miss you both terribly. Please come home to me safely soon. Adoringly yours eternally.

lil’ sis