If you've read Portnoy's Complaint you'll know what I mean but any guy should be able to tell you the ridiculous lengths a lad will go to for a 'realistic' wank when coming of age (so to speak).
Portnoy tried raw liver. For me it was two soapy balloons pressed together or an inflatable armband wedged between the mattress and bed. I just thank God there was no-one there with a camera to record the absurd sight of the virgin Longlashes fucking a ripe melon while french-kissing an orange.
But what' this?
O dear, I seem to have accidentally photographed myself pumping a pumpkin and then uploaded the veg-abuse to newbie nudes.
I'll never be able to show my face here again. lol
longlashes
