lostinmich's blog post - I need.....something....

You ever been so horny that even masturbation does nothing but distracts the feeling for only a few moments before your back to being horny? But is it just horniness or something more?

I know this sounds horrible but I really miss sex with PT. I know she is sick, and on her monthly and normally I try to be really good around her, and try not to tease or even hint at sex, because like me, she is such a nympho at heart. I mean that in a nice way.

This month has been a bit harder then last month. See we started this month off on a new path in our sexual lives. We discovered something new in NN and even some new things about each other. We talked alot about what we wanted to try and even seemed a bit more sexual to each other. Even the simple act of kissing each other goodnight turned into a 20 minute makeout session like we were in high school again.

That all came to a sudden and bone jarring halt when she got sick. My job is kind enough to only give me 3 sick days A YEAR! So getting sick for me equals loss of pay. So I have been at arms lenght alot in the last week or so. The intimacy that we once shared daily has dropped to soft touches and nothing else. I was sleeping on the couch a couple of days there before she was on meds and it really put a strain on both of us, her more so then me.

Last night it all came to a head and I held her close to me as she told me how much she missed me, missed us, that i knew it was not just hormones that were making me so edgy but the lack of physical contact between us that i was really craving. Last night we kissed for the first time in 5 days and it was only a couple of pecks on the lips. Those small kisses showed me that it was not just my sex drive that was hurting but my need for companionship that I was missing as well.

I realized last night before drifting off to sleep that I wanted everything. I wanted the kisses, makeout session, and the sex. I wanted to feel her and her to feel me. I wanted desperatly to make love to her, but also to cuddle with her last night as well.

I am not sure where i am going with this.. I miss her even though we have seen each other more in the last five days then normally but it has felt so...distant...

I Love PT and it has hurt alot not to be able to be closer to her lately. I guess i just didnt realize how much not being with her would really effect me.

Does this all sound silly? Do i sound like I am only looking for the physical?

I miss you baby...

~LiM
-- I PT --