loti55's blog post - The Death of Passion?

A concurrence of recent events (and non events) has lead me to examine why I would participate in activities such as this, namely acting and hopefully interacting on a sex site. My conclusion, after a great deal of soul searching and self examination (no, that that kind, you pervert!) is that there is one essential element missing from my well ordered and comfortable life - and that is passion.
I have a good job that I enjoy, a wife I am fond of and with the exception of the lack of sex I find a good companion, my adult children do not make excessive demands of me (meaning they are not on drugs or in jail) and close friends that I know I can count on if things get tough.
So what is it that is missing? Why do I feel somehow incomplete, as if something is missing? Is it simply the creaky old cliche of a mid-life crisis, or is it something more? What is it I crave? Is it danger, excitement, the lure of "forbidden fruit"? What is it?
The best I can come up with is that my life lacks passion - what I crave is something that grabs my full attention, something I find so compelling that everything else is secondary. I remember when I first discovered the guitar, and my fumbling efforts to make the change from an E chord to a G. I played for months and months, for hours every day until I was banging out every song the Beatles ever wrote, and none of that ever seemed lie work. It was pure joy and it felt like a privilege to be able to do it...
And later in life, in a fancy restaurant, after a wonderful dinner with a smart, beautiful, sexy woman, a girl I hadn't even slept with yet, sharing a piece of terramisu... that silly dessert was so good it went beyond the sublime to the ridiculous, every spoonful I fed her and every one I took was like ambrosia, something that mere mortals can barely handle... looking into her eyes and KNOWING what she was feeling, that connection to our mutual passion aided and abetted by a pastry.
So - I'm left wondering where this goes next, this hunger for passion, or at least for passionate experiences. As I'm old enough to know that nothing is free, I'm also wondering if the price is too high - I have no problem with the inevitable consequences, the decision now is am I willing to continue to pay that price? If I decide to go to the side of comfort, is that really the defeat it feels like, or the gracious acceptance of reality? How much am I willing to give up for passion?