manlycornhusk's blog post - Sometimes...you just have to give in

There are times in your life you have to do the right thing, even if it's for someone you don't actually like.

There's a guy I work with that is hot-tempered, obnoxious and more than a little stange. He's not at all what I would choose as a friend but he insists on talking to me every chance he gets. You know me well enough...I let him. I can't say no..sigh.

Today, I look up from my gauges and see he has tears in his eyes. damn...ok, i'm hooked. He proceeds to tell me about the last time he saw his son and his boy's last words being, "don't leave, daddy". I'm biting my lower lip by now so I don't start blubbering too. He's been going through a divorce and moved back to Illinois, more than 18hours away from his son, to get resituated with the help of his family. Of course, I know all the details of his breakup from the countless little talks in the past but this is the first time he's talked about leaving his son behind without venom directed at his ex.

So, I listened, I offered inane consiliatory comments to try to soothe his angst and eventually, he moved off. Unfortunately for me...empathic sucker that I am...I'm still running through his situation long after he's gone. I keep coming up with the same question..."why didn't you stay nearer to your son?". Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I approached him with the very same question. He explained that his family thought it would be better for him here, where he could regroup, make a little money and put off his bills waiting back where he came from. Now...I understand their point of view but I also know that parents are our anchor when we are younger because we haven't learned to captain our own ship. Now he's a parent and his son is looking to him to be a father. That's almost impossible being so damned far away. So...I told him what I thought. I don't know if I'm wrong or right but I gave him both barrels. Of course, it was based on what I thought was the right thing to do, the thing that I would do..so....here's what I said:

Go back to someplace closer to where your son is so that he can spend more time with you. He needs you more than ever now, especially during a divorce. You're running the risk of him thinking you've abandoned him and that's a hard hill to climb. The company he works for doesn't pay worth a damn so it's a sure bet he could find something comperable in that area. If he has to rent a room by the week, so be it...if the bill collectors come looking, so be it. The point is to be there when his boy needs him and truthfully, it won't hurt him a bit, swallowing his pride and moving back. It may even help him heal the hurt and anger he feels toward his ex-wife by substituting the love of his son and the fact that he can take a couple of hours to take him fishing or out for a hot fudge sundae.

Anyway....Maybe I was wrong but I couldn't stop myself. It just seemed so damned obvious what the solution to his sorrowful state was. Hmmm..and when I finished, of course I doubted myself. I hate to hurt people...it's just not my bag. I'm the Peace and Love guy..ya know.

Anyway...that's how I spent my Monday...damn

Peace and Love and Prioritize Your Life To Start Living