megstar's blog post - My take on Submission

I get asked from time to time to explain what submission is and I always start of by saying it means different things for different people. There are some people that see the photos that I post and think they can send a message to me and expect me to be this submissive from the text books, that I will automatically call them Sir and that I must be smacked right now, sorry to disappoint but that doesn’t get you anywhere with me, 98% of the time I don’t get past the first line of the message before I have closed it without replying. Yes I could indulge your fantasies but then I wouldn’t be getting anything out of it and I certainly wouldn’t be submitting to you. There are a few messages that intrigue me and have questions which I’m happy to try and answer from my perspective and these can even end with some role play of sorts. Then there are those few unlucky ones that have managed to catch me when my tolerance is low and end up getting a message back telling them exactly what I think of them.

Submission is ultimately a power exchange. I’m a strong woman who can and does do most things by myself but handling everything means I can over stretch myself trying to please everyone all of the time can be impossible. When I submit I hand over my control knowing I only have one person to please. I become exposed almost vulnerable as I let go of my frustrations, my fears, at times my guilt and insecurities. My desires and needs become known and Sir takes all of these things and more.

I submit out of sheer desire its part of who I am. I submit to calm the storms inside that at times feel like they will pull me apart. I can let down the walls I have, dismiss the guards and let myself truly relax knowing that I am safe and that nothing I let go off will be used against me.

Submission makes me feels centred and free. I can focus so much clearer after a scene then I could before and it makes me a better person, having tasks to fulfil keeps me on track with everything else; I can prioritise things so much better knowing that I have to be aware of my time to fulfil tasks to the best of my ability. There are no short cuts. If I fail to complete things not only do I let down Sir but I let down myself.

Some people don’t understand that if I am set a list of tasks then I will do them, just because I will not be seeing my Sir does not mean that I can go out for the day and then sit and write up my accounts of the tasks in a way as if I had completed them, yes I could and I’m sure that there are people that do but that takes me back to the roleplay scenario. For me if a task is set I will fulfil it. It’s knowing that by completing these tasks I am pleasing Sir.

Submission isn’t just about whips, clamps and sex, it’s about who I am and how I communicate with others. It’s me giving my power and control to another in a consensual exchange. It’s an exchange of the mind and heart that brings out a sense of fulfilment, a way of life. I feel centred, safe and free. I’m at peace with myself most of all I have a great sense of feeling whole.

The bottom line is it all comes down to trust and communication because submission exposes me, I reveal more and more about who I really am as time goes on and open up more willingly about my wants and desires.

Yes there is so much more when it comes to the physical side but without the trust and communication the physical side is just a bit of fun, kinky fuckery as its better known as. The physical side of submission is so much deeper than playing around with some bits or rope and handcuffs and that’s for another blog entry