megstar's blog post - Avoiding disaster

Last night I got around to ordering a new toy that I had been mulling over for some time, I also had a little browse and added a little something else before heading to the checkout.

Now when I logged off I was feeling rather pleased with myself and excited at the prospect of a nice little or not so little as the case may be parcel next week, this soon wore off when I received my confirmation email this morning.

Looking at the email I saw all the order was correct but then where my address should have been was my parents! Yes the last time I had used PayPal was buying stuff for them and I hadn’t clicked on the different delivery address out of my haste to pay before I changed my mind.

Cue sheer panic!!

I quickly logged back into the site opened up my account and clicked on the order to find I was unable to change anything. By this point I am slightly flustered thinking my mum or worst my dad are going to receive a parcel that would probably give them a frigging heart attack and just the thought of trying to explain to them that it was mine made me go cold.

Searching for the contact button I fire of an email explaining how my address was incorrect and could they please rectify it before sending only to get an automated reply informing me that they had received my email and they endeavour to reply within 2 days, 2 days!! By which point my lovely new toy would be bubble wrapped in a box and already on its way.

Cue even more panic and lots of swearing. There was only one thing left to do and that was the dreaded phone call to customer services. Now I know they must have enquiry’s all the time and they have heard it all before but as I sat there with my phone in hand I couldn’t help but chuckle and swallow my pride as I dialled the number.

“Hello and welcome to our customer services please listen to the options and select the one you require.”

I sat listening waiting for the “I was in a hurry and seriously fucked up the delivery address option” trying to compose myself for the inevitable awkward conversation.

“Please press 4 if you require assistance with an order.”

Assistance hell I needed more than that!

And then instead of the computer a voice appears on the line.

“Hello how can I help you?”

“Um Hello (I sure as hell hope you can help), I placed an order last night and on my confirmation email I have seen that the delivery address is wrong could we please rectify that?.”

“Certainly can I have your customer number please and I’ll take a look for you.”

I reel of my account number while trying to sound perfectly blasé about it.

“Oh yes am I speaking to Mrs spends too much time perving”

“Indeed you are”

“And your date of birth please for security purposes”

I tell the nice lady my date of birth before she then asks for the order number. Now this is where I imagine her sitting there staring at the screen reading the items and thinking that I must be a right dirty girl oh what am I saying dirty slut is really what she must be thinking and I squirm waiting for the nice easy question of “what address would you like it sent to?” but no weather it’s protocol or not she has to read out my order getting me to confirm each item first.

“So we have ………bra in black”

“Yep that’s right I haven’t got a problem with what I’ve ordered just the address” trying desperately to stop her from continuing and just to change the address.

“I understand I just need to confirm your items, we also have …….stockings…..*****….*****”

“Yes that’s right, yep that to and yes and that”

Now at this point there is only one item left for her to confirm I hold my breath waiting for her to relay to me the last item, the most important item and the whole reason I was a bit too excited to notice the address problem in the first place.

“And lastly we have the 14” realistic fist dildo”

Oh my god let the ground swallow me up now; a nervous chuckle escapes my lips as I confirm that yes I had ordered it for all my sins.

“So the address 27 parents road, mum and dad’s house, you fucked up, hahahaha… is incorrect?”

“Yes oh god it is” I ramble, explaining my issue to her and swear I can hear her smirking at me down the phone line.

“So you would like it delivered to your billing address which is 69 Horny road, Orgasms a plenty, Slutsville?”

“Yes please that’s the correct address”

Tap tap tap from her end on the phone before I hear her confirm it once more.

“And that is definitely sorted the parcel will come here and hasn’t already been dispatched?”

“No it is still being processed and I can assure you the address has now been changed for you, you should receive it in the next 7-10 working days.”

Exhale and breathe!

“Oh thank you that’s great.”

“Is there anything else we can do for you today Meg?”

“Nope that is everything thank you very much you have been a great help.”

“Your welcome, enjoy the rest of your day.”

Oh I will thank you muchly I say before putting the phone down and dissolving into laughter with the relief that I had thankfully spotted the error and managed to divert a disaster and possible disowning!

Lessons learnt today.

When ordering sex toys and underwear ALWAYS double no triple check the delivery address! God only knows how I would have got out of that predicament!!