michael1's blog post - loved you mitch

Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says, right on the bottle, 'Do not have more than 2.' Well then do not put a candy coating around it, for I cannot help myself. Let me have 10 Advil. I got a sweet tooth.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. "Dammit, Otto, you are an alcoholic." "Dammit, Otto, you have Lupus." One of those two doesn't sound right.

My manager told me, "Mitch, don't use alcohol as a crutch." I can't use alcohol as a crutch because a crutch is something that helps me walk. Alcohol severely fucks up the way I walk. It's more like the step I didn't see.

Last night my friend drank 26 bottles of O'Douls... He is a non-alcoholic.

If you drink O'Doul's, you're not drinking. But if you drink 20 O'Doul's in a half hour, you're a fuckin' non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholism is a problem, too; and there are symptoms, like when you fall down, it will always hurt.

Acid really messes with your mind, man. When I was on acid, I'd see things that looked like beams of light... and I'd hear things that sound an awful lot like car horns...

I like the FedEx driver because he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it. And he's always on time. I like my drugs to have a tracking number. Then when my friend says, "Mitchell, where's the drugs?" I just say, "Call the 1-800 number." Your drugs were loaded onto a van at 7:30 AM and will arrive on time. Perfect, that's what I paid for.

To do this show, I had to take a physical. They asked me a bunch of medical questions. And they were, like, yes or no questions, but they were very strangely worded. Like, "Have you ever tried sugar..... or PCP?"

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

I was in Ireland. I got to drink absinthe in Ireland. Absinthe is a liquor that they outlaw. It's supposed to make you trip hallucinogenically. So I got excited because I like to hallucinate. So I started drinking lots of shots of it. But really it's just a liquor, so really I was just getting fucked up. I wasn't even remotely tripping. After 10 shots, I fell to the ground. I was trying to force the trip. "Why is the floor as low as I can go?" I was just faking it, you know.

The club owner here, when he comes to town, he'll hook you up with drugs. He'll give you cocaine and pot brownies. But last time I was in town, he gave me a drug for Attention Deficit Disorder. Because he's afflicted. But I'm not. So what happened to me is suddenly I had an extra long attention span. People would be telling me a story, then the story would end and I would get all mad and shit. "Come on, man. There's got to be more to that story. I'm on pills here."

I think Visine is only used by potheads. Who else would use Visine? "I use Visine because I don't want people to know that I was swimming."

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

These lights are pretty bright, kinda makes me wanna grow weed again.
I was in a movie recently. I had a small cameo with Peter Frampton. We had to smoke fake pot in our scene. Do not buy pot on a movie set! But yeah, for this scene I got to smoke fake pot with Peter Frampton. That's a cool story. It's as cool as smokin' real pot with a guy who looks like Peter Frampton. And I done that waaaaaay more.

Acid was my favorite drug. Acid opened up my mind. Because of acid I now know that butter is way better than margerine. I saw through the bullshit.

I drink Orange Juice with Vodka. It's like Vitamin C that kicks your ass!

When we were on acid we would go into the woods; because when you were in the woods trippin' there was less likely a chance you'd run into an authority figure ... but we ran into a bear; that was even more of a buzz-kill. My friend Duayne was standing there raising his right hand swearing to help prevent forest fires. We got away from the bear, he put his arm around my shoulder and said to me "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person."