michael1's blog post

ok . 2 today but, cat lovers do not read the second one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. A queen size waterbed can hold enough water to fill a house that is 1500 square feet 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and then proceed to run them over with roller blades, they will ignite.

3. A three year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

5. It is strong enough, however, if you tie a paint can to it, and then watch in awe as it spreads paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

6. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

7. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

8. The glass in windows doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

9. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it means you're already too late.

10. Brake fluid mixed with clorox makes smoke, lots of it.

11. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a grown man says they can only do it in the movies.

12. Play Dough and Microwave should never ever be used in the same sentence.

13. Super glue is forever.

14. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

15. Pool filters don't like Jell-O.

16. VCRs do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

17. Garbage bags don't make good parachutes.

18. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys burn easily in ovens.

20. The local fire department has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine doesn't make earth worms dizzy.

22. It will however make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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How to Bathe a Cat


Thoroughly clean the toilet.


Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.


Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.


In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any thing they can find.


Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.


Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.


Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.


The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
A DOG OWNER
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ok a joke! live well/ laugh well/ love well