michael1's blog post

Sunday, January 7, 2007, 9:19:21 PM
Dilbert's Laws Of Work

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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
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Thoughts for 2007

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Thoughts for 2007

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you s till can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut ;saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it look normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

All the Best to you!!!

love well!/laugh well!/live well!

Comments

Others Have Said: 
Manic Panic on 7-Jan-07 21:31:41
:) Hiii-oooooooooo Silver!

nice bitch on 7-Jan-07 22:43:13
ya got that right !!!!! hugs xxx

incubator on 7-Jan-07 23:07:49
Nice look at the world from an unusal angle ... i love it

l0cksley on 8-Jan-07 1:50:32
I like number 8. Not many sandwiches on NN, I suppose.

By-the-Sea on 8-Jan-07 5:39:41
Smile

Starrfly on 11-Jan-07 16:22:09
Gave me a big smile from this one!