Not sure who has noticed my absence or cared but I felt that an explanation was necessary. I have been on a personal mission trying to find an end to my depression and found myself going deeper down a dark hole. Once I realized where I was, it only made sense that I needed professional help or things would get worse. Truthfully I cant say I am cured or better but I just see things in a different light and that change in perception has opened my eyes to some truths that I needed to find. Every time I logged on to NN I would shy away from communicating with any of my friends, I just felt I couldn't cause I didn't know what to say or who I even was. It was this confusion that let me to think that perhaps something was wrong with the way I saw things, why couldn't I register happiness the way others on site did. I dug deep to search for a reason, an explanation, something to tell me that I was normal just like everyone else. Sadly I found nothing to help me understand feeling normal and thus I began to question what is normal. How can some people take so much pleasure in cumming on a pic while others find it offensive. The key was in the differences, the variety and then I began to really look around. Beauty is everywhere and being happy is a choice that can be taken away from you by your perception of things. Although I suffer from a form of mental illness that plagues one In four people I will overcome it, not because I'm stronger than others but because I realize that I'm weak. Its ok to fall and stumble, sometimes its necessary, we all need to help others and be helped. If you find yourself in a dark place let someone help you, in turn you will help someone, the worst choice you can make is to hide or shy away from people. That being said i would like to invite others to share their stories and help us all discover ourselves. Hopefully this blog will act as a catalyst and bring more awareness to those who just don't understand why. Love you all !! |