are mike and the mechanics into garage?
if they made a film about the chimpanzees tea party would it recieve a PG certificate?
should fishnets be worn with codpieces?
do church bells have mass ap-peal?
would plant food engage the taste buds?

the wife said ; "i,m fed up of feelin fat."
"same here" i sighed

went to the fair today and got lost in the house of mirrors.gave me alot of time to reflect

i once went out with an inflatable woman ,it didnt work out so i had to let her down ............. gently

i just said 2 my wife "right sexy upstairs now"
she looked at me me and said "oooh u kinky bastard"
i said "no seriously the match is coming on ,now fuck off"

went to see my shrink yesterday ,
she says that i have got a split personality.
only paid half the bill, though,told her to get the rest off the other bitch



went to doc yesterday suffering from premature ejeculation,
the doc told me it was touch n go

how do u turn a fox into a elephant ? marry it

whats the difference between abattery and a woman? a battery has a positive side
what are the 3 fastest means of communication ?television telephone telawoman
why did god create woman ?to carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet
why do women fake orgasms ? because they think men care

a priest offered a nun a lift ,
she got in and crossed her legs ,forcing her gown to reveal her leg
the priest nearly had an accident
after controlling the car ,he stealthily slid his hand up her leg a little ,the nun said father remember psalm 129
the priest removed his hand,but changing gears ,he let his hand slip again to slide up her leg ,once again the nun said father remember psalm 129
the priest apologised sorry sister but the flesh is weak.
arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and then went on her way
when he arrived at church ,the priest rushed to his bible to look up psalm129
it said go forth and seek,further up you will find glory
MORAL:if you are not well informed in your job ,you might miss a great opportunity

other night i complained to the wife ,why dont you moan and groan while i make love to you ,
last night making love to her she said when you going to fix that crack in the ceiling? and its about time you painted these walls

went to the doctor today ,he told me i was paranoid ,well, he didnt
actually say it ,but he was thinking it

spilt a bottle of stella on my lawn last night.
it came up this morning half cut