She likes to think that her Close friends are truelful and wouldnt do the wrong thing to or by her! And would do for her as she has done for them ! Which she knows that this is rarely ever done!

But she sits and listens as a friend is talking to her about the facts and actions of the previous days... He tells her to do for herself... he has put thoughts into her head that she wished werent there ! She knows in her heart and gut that he is telling her wat he is telling her for her own good and because he loves and cares deeply for her! Even as he speaks his words he tells her he knows she has heard it all before and that she understands what he is saying!

With tears in her eys she tells him that she gets all thaqt he is saying..... She is who she is !

He leaves her to her thoughs as she lays and thinks with an aching heart and sick feeling in her guts.... And hopes that she is being treated as she treats others.

well thsat was a long stressful but fun day !

can i go 4 nights in a row??

<< is Happy that everything is going the right way for yammit !
and with that happiness that i DONOT begrudge her any of the goodness... i cant help but be a little jealous !
yes i know my turn will come and one day at a time..
Just wish the day would hurry the fuck up!

iam my own worse enemy !

ALWAYS GOOD TO BE HOME!!

<< is going to gerelton in am

soon it will sink into my head that iam not welcomed to things that mhy friends are doing!

One friend says invite yourself..... but when i do that it turns out that the event wasnt planned by them..
I am who iam and i Do what i Do for myself and also to try and better things..... I WILL not change who iam or what i do to please others.... Even if that means being Alone most of the time!

has a body with me for trhe weekend !!

i think some pics wsill be taken !maybe

fuck i hate who iam and where iam at in this world sometimes