Something weird is going on with me and wanting to show off my tits right now. They are craving attention. It's like i can feel them wanting to tear through my shirt, nipples erect, screaming TOUCH ME!!!! They want to be caressed, fondled and licked. They want to be stared at, talked to and cum on. i want to be treated like i don't even exist, as if i'm nothing more than a pair of tits for a man to play with.


i've been having these fantasies lately about going on dates with men who treat me like i'm nothing more than a pair of walking tits... staring at them, talking to them, staring at a nicer pair that the waitress may have instead of paying any attention to me at all. Desperate for attention, i open my shirt and beg him to play with the only thing that he seems to like about me. Maybe it's in the car after the date, where he fondles my tits for a little while before jerking a big load onto them and leaving, or maybe i've convinced him to come in for a while and he's covered my face with a pillow so my existence doesn't distract him from what he's really there for. Sometimes i don't even get the decency of the car or a load of jizz. Sometimes he takes me out behind the resteraunt, makes me squat behind a dumpster with my tits out as he pisses all down the front of me and then leaves, maybe to go home to a much more attractive woman he'll fuck instead.


i want my tits to be bigger. i need them to be these ginormous things that people can't help but notice. i want people to assume i'm stupid and treat me like i'll never be anything more than a pair of tits. i want to be lost in an identity that is soley sexual.

Mister's been very nice to me about all this. When we are together he goes out of his way to pay attention to my tits. But it just isn't enough. If i weren't so fugly i'd go get a job at the titty bar so that i can get the attention i need there, lol.

Daddy and i have started exploring the world of anal. So far this has involved the most slender butt plug that i could find at the porn store and his thumb. Sunday night we were at his band's practice space, which has gradually started to become our little play space as well. He had me wearing my spreader bars while on all fours. i also wore a gag. While he was playing with my butt plug, he was saying a lot of things that led me to believe he was going to stick his cock in my ass. While he probably doesn't rock the biggest cock around, it is a very respectable seven inches. i can't recall the circumfrence but it is reasonably thick. The head, in particular, seems very large to me, especially when i think about him sticking it in my ass. i want to be his little anal slut, tho, so i decided to do my best to let him fuck me in the ass like a good girl.

He pulled the plug out and stuck his cock in. my immediate response was to pull my body away from him as quickly as possible and begin to cry hysterically. i'm very embarrassed confessing to this, but i was an absolute baby about it. Daddy was very kind about it. He was enjoying the fact that his big, bad cock had hurt me terribly so that seemed to outweigh the fact that i had responded to it so poorly. Of course this just made me want to prove that i did want him to fuck me in the ass.... eventually, after maybe trying a few toys in between the sizes of my tiny butt plug and his cock. i asked him to put the plug back in while he fucked me in the pussy, which i really enjoyed.

Then to make up for crying i asked him to give me my first golden shower, something i knew he was interested in but hadn't pushed with me yet. i can't believe how much i liked that. He's crazy into hydration (always with his water bottle) so he had a lot to give, plus it wasn't really stinky. We went outside of his practice space. i was wearing a dress that was pushed down from the top and pushed up from the bottom so it hung around my waist like a thick belt. Daddy let me use my vibrator on myself while he pissed all over me. It felt warm and i actually thought to myself that i was going to be really sad when he was out of pee. Then he throat fucked me until i came. It was really amazing. He told me what a cry baby i was about having his cock in my ass. He always knows the sexiest things to say, haha.

Always with his water bottle, he let me use it to rinse off in the parking lot. It was a really interesting night for new experiences! Too bad one of them made me cry, lol.

i've always been curious about anal, but never would have admitted it. It was a dirty little secret fantasy of mine that Daddy jumped right on board with as soon as i mentioned it. Recently he started putting his finger in my ass when he fucks me from behind. The other night i showed him a porno with a girl who was restrained and then her ass was filled with a butt plug. Well Daddy immediately took me to the porn store, bought me a little purple butt plug and used it on me that night.

Daddy hooked me up to the spreader bar so that my legs were spread wide open. He attached my wrists to the ring in the center, so that i could rub my clit, then shoved my face into the carpet while my ass was in the air. After easing the plug into my ass he rammed his cock into my pussy, fucking me harder than ever before. He called me all kinds of terrible things like fat anal slut.

i can't believe how good it felt. i was afraid it was going to hurt but i kept screaming out how much i loved it. i want more!

i've always preferred naturally dominant vanilla men to those "lifestyle" types. It's sort of contradictory considering that i am a lifestyler myself, but only in the sense that it's the actual way i live my life, as opposed to going to munches, dungeons, play parties and what not. i've always been a bit antisocial and never had much interest in any kind of public play. Mostly, however, i chalked up dating naturally dominant but lifestyle ignorant men to my need to top from the bottom. A vanilla man might be dominant, but will also be clueless enough about it that he will require an education from his little sub. It affords me the opportunity to "train" my dom to dominate me how i prefer.

i am a terrible submissive. i've always been pretty honest about that.

Now i find myself wondering if that awful dynamic was more about being with the wrong person than anything else. Obviously, that sort of behavior allows me the appearance of submission while keeping me relatively safe. Everything ends up being on my terms. i'm never challenged, my boundaries are never pushed, and when i realize that i never will be challenged by these doms of my own creation, i find myself bored with them.

Isn't hindsight awesome? If you had tried to point out my behavior pattern to me in the midst of it, i would have punched you in the nose.

Things are different with Mister Wonderful. He's not really a lifestyle guy but He's certainly not vanilla. i'd describe him as a kinky man who was in a vanilla relationship for most of His life. He says that He had no idea that it was possible to find a woman who would be up for living out His dirty little fantasies. He's perfect because while i still get a certain amount of teaching Him, which i see now is just who i am as a person who was raised by teachers, He also has a very clear idea of the things He desires. He simply doesn't know the technical terms for it all.

It's also beautiful to watch Him learn more about Himself. On our second date He bought me a pair of beautiful heels. i've known since then that He had a shoe fetish. It turns out He might have a foot fetish as well. He loves playing with my little toes. It started out in the steam room together. Obviously a barefoot situation, He began playing with what He proclaimed to be, "MY toes." From there He started giving me foot rubs whenever we were in a shoe-free environment.

i finally brought it up to Him. "i know You have a shoe fetish, but do you have a little foot fetish, too?"

He got that big, beautiful, surprised smile of His that i love so much and exclaimed, "I don't know! I was thinking about that. I have no idea if I like shoes because I have a foot fetish or if I like feet because i have a shoe fetish!"

In the end we decided it doesn't really matter. Whatever gets me foot rubs and new shoes, right? Now, whenever we are spending time together, He removes one of my shoes so that He has both options.

The other day, after about an hour of cuddling on the couch He offered to buy me lunch. When i tried to put my shoes back on He stopped me. "I want to put your shoes on for you."

As He buckled the lovely heels He bought me, He looked at me sheepishly and said, "This is probably submissive of Me." i didn't really think so. He'd brought my foot to His lap. It wasn't like He was on His knees buckling my shoe. Besides, i'd figured Him out already, i was just sort of uneasy about the whole thing.

"Oh, no," i announced. "You're just a Daddy Dom."

"A Daddy Dom?" He asked.

"Yes, You want to love and take care of Your little girl, spoil her and treat her nice but sometimes she needs to be disciplined or needs help putting on her little shoes."

He laughed and thought the description seemed fitting. On our next date i noticed that He was calling me "My girl" a lot. "Do You still love me?" i asked Him shyly. He hugged me and replied,"Of course, you're My girl!" i'd had a few men enjoy that phrase before but this seemed a little gratuitous and sudden Finally He explained to me that He had done a little internet search on Daddy Doms.

"I... I really think that sounds like Me," He said.

"That explains why You've been calling me Your grrl all night," i teased.

"I won't make you call Me Daddy," He laughed. "Mister is working just fine."

Now there are all kinds of Daddy jokes between us and i don't know if there's much of a point in calling it anything other than what it is. The whole Daddy business has always freaked me out. i've heard all the justifications about how it's not about xxxxxx or pedophelia, but i've never really been able to comprehend that. i mean, one is using terms which are xxxxxxuous and pedophelic in nature. You can reinact these things with an adult who has a childish demenor, but you can't tell me you aren't role playing xxxxxx and/or pedophelia, even if you aren't actually doing anything wrong.

Despite the fact that i am essentially a bratty little grrl looking for a kind yet strict man to take care of me, i've always resisted those relationships. He's already pushing my boundaries. It's interesting to note that these specific boundaries are related to things i have been in denial about myself for a long time. Those "hard limits" that have really only been "soft limits" or things i was honestly curious about but afraid to admit to. Things my well-trained doms never would have pushed me toward, or probably never even been curious about.

i'm a bratty little grrl and He's the first person i've ever met who doesn't take my attitude. He's the first Man who laughed off my cranky morning tantrums. He's the only Dom i've ever had who has followed through consistantly on punishments. It's the first time i've really felt safe to be myself.

Finally.