qtenz33's blog post - What I want; What I'm looking for

In the end, what I want is a companion, someone(s) to be on the adventure of life with, and not in a short term superficial way. In the begining though what I want is someone(s) to talk to. I get that it's hard for some people, for all sorts of good and bad reasons, but it's something I, for lack of a better term, need. Someone(s) with whom I can share how I think and feel, and not just feel listened to but who can be in conversation with me. Someone(s) who I can listen to and be there for and help as I am able. Reciprocation, social equality.

But it's more than just that, as most all things are. I want someone(s) who, like me, feels that people are not a thing to be owned. This is not to say that those who wish to be shouldn't, more that until such is said no assumptions should be made. I don't want to be reprimanded for feelings I have that come to me in a flash faster than I can think, I'd rather be able to talk them out and see what might happen, regardless of outcome. Do I want someone(s) to be stable with? Most definitely, but I don't think it could be just one. Most preferable I would be in a group of 4, 2 of each. Playing as we chose with who we chose, knowing that there is a difference between fun, intimacy and devotion.

I'm tired of being afraid of loss you see. As some know and others can tell it's something that weighs on me far more heavily than it should. So instead of letting it crush me I want what causes it gone. I want the jealousy gone from me. It's not yet, not fully, but no one said it would be easy. Relaxing is easy though, more so than worrying once you can remember how.

So that, here at the end again, is what I want. Someone(s) relaxed, open, willing to communicate and not afraid to find out, or who already knows, what it's like without all that pain and fear. Everything else, from hobbies to favourites, even all the way to opinions, all of that is just perquisite.