rinudist's blog post - Rimming

My first rimming experience, giving and receiving? 12 years old, in the backyard in my tent, with my best friend Kevin, summer night.

Typical adolescent sexual exploration. We started off by me showing him how to masturbate. Imagine, we were so young we didn't ejaculate. We hadn't hit puberty. But the dry orgasm sensation was just as addictive. (Note: have to write about my first ejaculation experience). That eventually led us to oral sex.

One night, Kevin went and licked my ass. What a great feeling! I had to ask him what he was doing. I was hooked. I then gave him the same experience. I think he was just as hooked. What else was I hooked on, providing sexual pleasure. There is a great sense of power there and it is a service to please someone else.

Back to the topic. After those adolescent years, rimming fell off my radar. I might have been interested in performing and receiving it, but there was no way that I was going to talk about it. I felt shameful. I'm a "guy", no one is suppose to touch my ass. I hate saying it, but I didn't want to seem gay. I also didn't want to talk to a girl about me doing it to her. My fear was she would think I was gross and disgusting.

It makes me sad to think I wasted so many years in fear and shame about my sexual pleasures. In a lot of ways is was a societal problem for me. I felt different and different was wrong.

A few years into marriage, while I was pleasing my wife orally, I would slyly lick her ass. She didn't respond negatively. BTW, I had the bad habit of begging for forgiveness rather than asking for permission with it came to sex with my wife. It was too shameful for me to talk about it. Today, I have a lot of regret for that approach. Now, I try to talk about these things with my partner before hand although sometimes in the heat of passion I'll do something we've never discuss. My partner and I are comfortable with expressing if we don't like something in the heat of the moment and I find it to be a good practice to talk about it afterward. You know, something to keep or throw out.

Well, for a while when eating my wife's pussy, I work work my way down to her ass. It was clear to me that she enjoyed it, because when I would tongue her ass she would press into me. A clear indication that she wanted more.

Time had pasted and we went on vacation. We decided to get a book of erotic stories and she would read to me as I drove. One story was about a woman who experienced and enjoyed giving and receiving a rim job. To my surprise, my wife turned to me and asked, do people actually do that? I don't think I'd like it.

To her surprise, I told her that I had been tonguing her ass for a while and she seemed to like it. Years later, after do research on male and female sexuality, I found out that it is not uncommon for women to not know their intimate areas and recognize what was plearsurable and what was not. Many women do not know what their vulvas look like. My wife fit this category.

It brought me back to that first rimming experience I had. I had to ask Kevin what he was doing, because it was a new sensation. I wanted to know so I could do it to him so he could experience the same.

During that vacation, I let my wife know when I was rimming her, so she could connect the sensation with the part of her body.

After that, my wife has a 'love'/'hate' relationship with rimming. On one hand, she loved the sensation and it heightened her pleasure. But not the other hand, it was disturbing to her as she equated that part of her body as gross and dirty. I would say it is gross, but obviously it is dirty. There are ways around that with proper hygiene prior to having sex. But even with that it can be mentally difficult to overcome.

End result...
1. I love giving and receiving a rim job
2. I want to be more upfront with my partner about my sexual pleasure and desires
3. I want to be accepting that my partner does not have the same interests sexually. Hell, I like Thai food and she doesn't. I'm not going to kill the relationship over it.
4. I strive to let go off the shame and fear of my sexuality. Can only be done by being vulnerable about it.

I've talked to my current partner about anal play. I love the fact that her response to it is, I don't know if I like it. She's open to it. My attitude about new sexual experiences is like food, I'll try it at least once before making a judgement (in most cases). Seems that she has the same opinion.

So, I will try rimming her and see what her reaction is. I'll talk to her about giving it to me and if I'm lucky she'll be open to trying it. In the end, I'll strive to surrender any bad feelings if she tells me she's not into it. There is certainly more sex variety to try.