He took it real well...real well.
I just blurted it out one day...may as well admit what's going on here...may as well admit we're falling in love. If I had sound I woulda heard him sigh. I love you he told me...but you knew that already didn't you? I didn't but I was hoping it, hoping that he was feeling the same way I did. And he did!
By the time we finally met we were in pretty deep. I loved him, no doubt about that. But when we met...it was all over. I couldn't get enough of him. It wasn't even sex, it was just being together. I had to talk to him, listen to him talk, hold his hand, walk with him, just be with him. It was amazing, like I had found the other half of me. I felt so complete and content. We had three days...to love out of control. I wish I had a lifetime but that's what we had.
Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I ever did but we'd keep in touch and maybe even visit each other. I cried leaving, I cried for two days at the drop of a hat and I cried here and there after that. But he promised to see me again...

It's taken me a while to try and figure out how to explain what happened next.
We definately started getting closer on line and I had agreed to meet. Then one day he said he had to talk, that he wasn't going to meet. I asked why and he wouldn't really explain it. I found myself getting much more upset than I thought I would get. I wanted to know why and I wanted to meet. I just said no. No, he couldn't cancel like that. No, I had everything planned and he had to meet me now. No, it wasn't up to him to protect me. This was my decision not his.
This went on for a while until he was upset as me and telling me that he couldn't say no to me. The meeting was on again with both of us a little shaken up over our reactions. Me especially. I hadn't expected to be so emotional over a meeting with a friend.
I guess I had to take some time to figure out what I was feeling and maybe start to admit some of it to myself. The question was how was he going to take that.

I mentioned a business trip I was going on with a co-worker. He privated me in the room and said that if I was going anywhere near certain locations he'd love to meet up. I told him that I was going with a coworker. Then I asked him if he knew that and did he still mean it.
He said yes and that he would even get a room for me and her if it wasn't where we were staying. I asked if he was serious. He said yeah...that he just thought it would be cool to meet me and hang out for a while.
I was really blown away that he would offer that without expecting anything except meeting. He said he didn't care if the coworker came with us. I was worried about blowing her off to go hang out with someone.
I said I would think about it and thanked him.

When I talked to my friend later I told her I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want him to think that this would lead to something more but I wanted to meet him. He was funny, nice and I really liked him. He was my friend but I wasn't ready for a relationship. She just laughed at me and said of course we had to meet. I still wasn't sure and I knew I would have to run it by my coworker. She didn't care so now it was up to me again.

One morning we were there as usual, him watching me, me reading mail. I got a link to a site from a friend of mine so I started reading it. The site was hilarious. So now I'm cracking up and he's watching. So he asked what I was reading. I sent him the link.
I think we spent the next two hours reading it together and just laughing like fools. I watched him laughing, he had a great smile.
He started talking to me more than he had before. All of a sudden he had a lot to say. And we had the same sense of humor so we really started enjoying ourselves. Now our mornings started turning into catching up on each others' days and then sharing the funny things we had seen or read.

We wanted to share something we couldn't in the chat room. I think it was another webpage that we wanted to talk about. So, we ended up sharing IM's. It's not something I normally do...most folks don't even know I have IM's. But, he was different. So we started chatting off the site.
I even turned my cam on for him and he did the same for me. I would get nervous because he would just sit and watch me like a lab experiment. He started knowing my habits, like how I would lick my lips or the ways my eyes would roll when something made me say oh my gawd...
But he still wasn't really "talking" to me. We chatted and we would watch each other and we would do other things while our cams were up but we still hadn't moved on. We weren't quite ready to admit what was going on. But, every morning we would be there waiting for each other and it was getting so the day wasn't over til we saw each other.

I wouldn't admit that I wanted to see him though I knew in my heart I did. My friend kept telling me I was hooked but I said no way. I said I was too smart to get hooked and I just got out of a relationship I didn't want another one now. She would just say uhuh and then ignore me.
So I would go in the room, talk to him, flirt a little and talk to everyone else too. He would flirt a little and sometimes he'd flirt with other users. I would always back off and talk to someone else.
I offered to go private with him a couple of times, we did but never to do anything but talk. He always told me he didn't want to take up all my time, that other people wanted to talk to me and he felt bad if he kept me away too long.
What I didn't know was that he thought I was special and that he did want to talk to me but he didn't think I was interested in him.
So the two of us kept on denying that we were interested or that we had a chance.

We met in spring in a chat room..sorta like the one here. I wasn't really looking for anyone, neither was he, we were just killing time. Me and my friend would go in the chat room and "take over" and just have fun. I flirted with him but I flirted with everyone. I liked him though. Just something about him and they way he handled himself. He was never rude. He was kind of quiet. He just had a way about himself.

I got to know him a little better every time I went in and he happened to be there. It got the point where I was looking forward to talking to him. I started paying attention to when he'd be there and I'd try to make sure I was there too. But we were still just flirting. The only thing was I wanted to flirt with him. I wanted him to want to see me as much as I wanted to see him.

There are so many really great blogs on here and so many great writers. I've been reading them when I can and I love being able to see parts of folks that you wouldn't think you would normally see on an adult site.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to read what I have to write but I figured I'd give it a shot. Sometimes it's nice just to be able to write what you're feeling even if no one is reading it.

I'm country. Some of you might know what I mean. I'm a jeans and boots type. I like my life simple and I do what I can to keep it that way.

I'm married. My husband is my owner. He says he's my owner and my slave because he would do anything for me, anything I ask. I'm the same with him. When we first met we knew we were meant for each other. I looked into his eyes and could never look away. It killed me the first time we were apart. I couldn't eat or sleep and I cried for two days. It was like having a part of you removed. It was rough for him too.

Someday I'll talk about how we met and how we ended up together but for now I just want to let you know it all worked out. We're together now and that won't change. I gave myself to him and he accepted.