sammiealice's blog post - i know that i have been gone

sorry i have been away.

just able to sneak on here for a little bit

it has been a difficult summer, starting with hubby finding my toys at the end of the spring. i have just had to be so careful. i don't want him to know that i am almost uncontrolablly horny was having cybersex with guys here to take care of what he was not giving me.

and with his loss of job, he is always around, in the living room where i keep my computer and i can not get on line to chat with you all, or even check what you are doing.

omg, i have not even been able to pleasure myself since july.

and daughter always seems to be home. and he will not even make out (omg, i just want to be made out, you would think i was a teenager) if she is home.

but then the worst, my dear aunt who was in assisted living fell and that just started the road to the end. i knew it was coming but what little of her that was left went away with the fall and she was, just a shell. I would visit and she had no idea who i was or even if i was there. many times, i just sat with her and nothing. i watched as she slowly went down hill---i thought that we had months left and then, she just decide to leave. a call in the morning that she was having some problems breathing and three hours later, she was gone. i was on my way home to go see her and they called. i was just numb. i knew it was coming but when it happened i was just numb.

i had promised myself that i would be with her when she died, that she would not go alone because she had taken such wonderful care of me and my daughter and hubby and she just left. almost no warning. if she had waited 20 minutes, i would have been there.

it really puts other things in perspective.

and so know i am trying to clean her affairs up and i know that that will take time.

and work is just work.

i will try and blog more---sneak down early in the morning maybe.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to all.

sammie alice