ok, the weekend just passed...........part1.

We had a few friends competing in the Mr Universe competition, well 5, thats an awesome number of peeps to know who are all at world standard at what they do, and they are all from our wee pokey gym!

Obviously we have known for months that this was happening, we have been helping our friends(its very depressing taking your bodyfat down to almost nothing, your mind starts to play games with you...), every week we would be looking at our hungry lads and lasses to see what changes have taken place since last week, that the water manipulation was happening good in the last few weeks etc, at the same time as realising that we would have FOUR, yes, FOUR WHOLE DAYS TO OURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!! As i'm sure you can imagine hot, naughty fun was all that was on our minds. We wondered whether it would be more fun to invite people to our room to have some fun or if we should go to a swinging club,sometimes when you make arrangements for private meets no one shows up, as had happened to us 5 months ago, so we decided on a club, this club...
[url]http://infusionblackpool.com/index2.html[/url]

Anyway, we had booked a cheap weekend at a holiday camp as it was only a place to lay our heads at night,as long as it had a bed and a shower we would be fine to get up the next morning, go to the show, then head to blackpool for OUR time!

Then......

Bri's mum decides that she is taking our wee one to blackpool whilst we are away, staying right next to where the above club is change of plan, we looked for something closer to southport(where the Mr Universe was being held) A good friend of ours, a very sexy man(i know your reading P) found a little pub that was opening as a swingers club the very night of the show!Spills and Thrills night, oohhhh i was soooo excited and feeling VERY lucky, normally it would have closed the night before we arrived lol. Anyway, this wee pub was not only BANG ON date wise, it was right across the road from the shows venue!!!!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!!! ITS NOT GONNA BE A DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!


We call up the owner of the pub, who warns us that there has been alot of press interested in this issue and the locals have been saying they are gonna picket outside, thus the press will be there taking pics for the local rag, but i don't care, its not MY local rag!!!

We wish all well before we leave, just incase we don't catch any of our friends before they go to get ready for the stage and promise that they will hear us screaming for them loud and proud!We head off with a case filled with condoms (self explanitory)and gaviscon sachets(for our friends who will be sore, bloated and constipated the day after the show, first day after coming off diet is always worst)After the worst traffic possible, we finally arrived, as we were checking in i said to Bri "lets have a nice saucy shower." Weellllllll..........ummm..........you know the showers u used to get at the swimming pool, with the push in tap that runs for 15 seconds? YUP, you guessed it, that was the 'shower' that the website was talking about when we booked, now i'm not sure here but i have NEVER stayed ANYWHERE overnight that has has this strange arrangement, out of the window that idea went,so we showered separately and Bri held the button in for me and i returned the favour, we went to check out the bed and discovered that it was 2 SMALL single beds and a sofa bed that was double, Bri will never be able to get into that single and its gonna be a nightmare sharing the sofa bed with him .......it can only happen to us, i tell you, i don't know anyone that this kind of shit happens to on a weekly basis, if not more!

I'm not moaning about this, i'm laughing so hard as i type this that there are tears streaming down my face.

We get all dressed up and go out for a few drinks, just a few as its an early start to a long day on Saturday. Bri sneakily buys me double drinks instead of singles, i'm wondering why they taste so strong, thinking that its because i only have half measures normally, i carry on.......3 drinks later, i'm really needing to go home, my head is spinning and i'm so horny i'm gonna grab the wee spotty barman and take him home if i have any more at all, we go back to the room and i pull out the sofa bed, i lay on the bed, bri lays down beside me and......
SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The springs burst just under our shoulders,the top halves of our bodies were tilted toward the floor and our legs still at normal bed height, by this time we are in hysterics, we bolster up the mattress with the seat cushions and still get down to it anyway!

Think this is long enough for a blog, so will go off to bath the wee one and put her to bed, then i'll come back to finish the story........

OK Friday is here, i don't know where all the time has gone, i'm running out of the door and won't be back till Monday evening, will explain all when i return, i just haven't had a second to update, wish us luck for our friends who are competing this Saturday at the Mr Universe.Good Luck to us as the wee one is staying with her gran THE WHOLE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'll try to stay out of trouble lol, have LOTS of fun while i'm gone you bunch of sexy f*ckers!

ok folks, i love reading others blogs, but i don't blog much myself(you may have noticed lol)so here goes.....


The last few months have been kinda hectic so i haven't spent as much time online as usual. Its been nice to be back here, although my time is much more limited but the real world still exists and demands my attention lol.

Well, the appointment with my daughters surgeon went well, it went so well i wondered if i had dreamt it. Mr Surgeon agree's with everything i suggested,agree'd where they had made wrong decisions...he even agreed the future courses of action........you could have knocked me down with a feather! We had gone to the appointment ready to bash heads with them, every appointment so far had been a battle, where we had backed down and wished we hadn't, so for the time being, i feel at ease, it feels GREAT! The biggest stress in my life is co-operating with me I feel like i got a little control back, i always feel down if i'm stuck in a serious situation and don't have any control over anything.......it's all good for the time being!!!!!

Well, with the above appointment, the feeling of impending doom had curbed our naughty fun, well that and the fact that our daughter is going through a clingy phase and refuses to stay overnight at grans But last friday i was talking to a girl we plan to meet with (when we do get a sitter, we have been speaking on the phone for months) and she said she would be happy to meet either of us, singly as well as as a couple! I offered to stay home and send Bri to meet our sexy new friend the next day, he was out when i made the arrangements so had no idea the surprise he was about to receive.As our typical luck goes,it was the busiest day ever and i didn't get the chance to talk to Bri on his own until very late evening, when i did tell him he was thrilled!

Saturday afternoon comes and Bri sets off whilst i stay at home, i txt him whilst he is on the train to tell him how horny i am already and how i hope he has an awesome time, that i know he will! He calls me to let me know he has arrived, i laugh and say "get off the phone, your not there to call me, go have some fun." Fun he had, but i wouldn't know about that for hours yet.........

I get on with the day, constantly thinking about what they are doing, its hot, i'm horny, but i can't do anything about it, not till he comes home, i love the build up, by the time he gets home i'm gonna be climbing the walls kinda horny, then i'm gonna get him to fuck me so hard as he tells me all about his day, it seems like forever, but a good forever, getting more intense as the hours pass, desperate to be filled and hear his naughty account of whats happened, followed by a txt then a call from .......
the phone is ringing, its been about 5 hours since Bri met up...of fuck, thats right, answer the phone...........it went something like this, i'm not sure of the exactness of the whole convo as i was to busy listening and having pervy thoughts...
Sexy Lady: OMFG!!!! Your hubby has just made me squirt, my bedsheets are soaked and i came over and over, HOLY SHIT!!!!

Me: Holy shit!!!!!!

Bri: hiya hen, this lady is a naughty girl!

Me: OMFG!!! did you have fun(to both) i'm so horny and thats so hot

Them: yes, been awesome

Me: you staying a while longer? (hint hint....do it! lol, i'm loving how my mind has been wandering into fantasy all day)

Bri: sure, I'll call you when i'm leaving

Me: nae bother, love you, have fun and tell sexy lady she is fucking hawt and thanks for calling!

OMFG!!!!!!! they were having a great time, now i am even hornier, arg! oi need some alone time, but don't get it

A few hours later Bri is on his way home, i txt asking him to pick up a bottle of coke on way home.

I'm horny as hell and check the train timetable so i know when to expect to get that fuck i so badly needed, i didn't want to make love, i wanted to fuck, fast and hard and aggresively...mmmmmm

phone ringing......

Bri(heavy breathing): Ser, i've just been attacked, i managed to get the guy after he tried to headbutt me, i hit him once, but then his two mates are chasing me...

(I at this point am hysterical, you've gotta understand, i have a temper, Bri doean't, he's Mr gentle, Mr reasonable, Mr never been in a fight in his life, he might be all buff and go to the gym, but he's just not an aggressive guy AT ALL, so i am thinking 'oh shit, he's gonna try to talk his way to a peaceful resolution', the folks around these parts who are decent don't go into the town afterdark, especially at the weekends,its vicious and usually on an innocent victim, as was this case, they often jump on their victims heads, use knives, bottles and there is always loads of them beating on the one person)

Me: Holy fuckin shit, are you ok, what do you mean you've been attacked?where are you and i'll call a cab for you, omg, are you ok?(much more hysterical screaming etc etc)what the hell were you doing in the local town anyway?

Bri: Getting your bottle of coke


(me starts crying, i meant buy bottle in train station, not go into town, now he's got 2 guys chasing him and has hit one guy on the face, he's still lying on the ground. )

Me: Shit Bri, I'm sorry, i didn't mean you to go into the town, fuck!

Bri: I've dropped my wallet, fuck

Me: just get in a taxi, get the taxi to wait while you look for it

Bri: no hen, i'm going to find it, its got all next weeks money in it, the money for the weekend away on friday in it, all the bank cards....

Me: FUCK THE GODDAMN WALLET, THATS IT, I CALLING A TAXI AND I'M COMING TO GET YOU!!!!!

(I'm terrified and grab a clunk of wood as bri explains what happened, he was in a takeaway buying said bottle of bloody coke and could hear a bunch of lads outside the pub across the road shouting at people wandering by, he thinks nothing of it as they are only taunting, he leaves the shop and one guy from the bunch was standing in the next doorway, he bumps Bri on the shoulder, as Bri goes to turn to see who has accidently bumped him see's the guys head coming towards him, he turns to avoid a broken nose then just grabs the guy, and punches him once, he knew if the guy had got him his mates would have joined in as they were starting to make their way across the street........anyway, Bri hears a loud crack and thinks he has broken a bone in his hand, guy goes down, mates start chasing.........

Bri: Got wallet babes, just going to the taxi rank, see you soon

Me: No chance your hanging up, keep talking to me until your inside the taxi, then i'll be able to calm down again.......

Talk until he is inside cab, he will be home in around 4 mins, i can stop worrying that the rest of the bunch would catch him...

Well, he got home ok, his forehead was a little red where the guy had managed to land hit, and his t-shirt was ruined, but he was safe, thank god!


I'm sick of this shit! It's not safe to walk around in the town we live in. I'm surprised that Bri hit the guy, but happily surprised, i hope the crack that was heard was the guys jaw, i hope it teaches him a lesson, but i doubt it, he was so drunk, the kind of idiot that goes out drinking looking for trouble, i hope he is in agony, if i knew where to find the little fucker i would beat seven different different colours of shit out of him!How dare he try to headbutt my gentle Bri! ARRGGGGGGG, I'm still furious about the whole incident. Ruined the whole horniness thing i had going, i was just angry.....we still fucked each other silly though, and have been since!!!!!!!

Sorry folks, it was a long one, i just had to get the rant out, i feel better already, still got to fill you in on this weekend coming,and how this weekend coming has been keeping us busy for the last couple of months, but i'll explain more in my next blog.I'll probably try to restrain myself from arranging surprises for anyone in the near future......its bloody dangerous!


Oh and congrats to Ms Apple and Mr Captain on their AWESOME news!!!!!

its a 'titty' fruit, also known as 'nipple fruit' or 'udder fruit' non-edible but looks like a fun plant!!!