seshat's blog post - Time to find a new job?

Fact is I haven't been the happiest little camper lately. Some deep-seated anxiety issues mostly, but also because of my job. Because, no matter how I look at it, it seems like a waste of time. Sure, I'm indirectly helping poor people (for those of you who don't know, I work for a social welfare organisation, behind the scenes) but it doesn't seem to matter in my mind. Because it's not what I want to do with my life.

So when I get frustrated at my job, I start thinking about leaving and looking for something better. But ultimately, even if the job is different, the feeling of wasting my life would still be there. So I stick around and get annoyed with my boss, etc. and get very grumpy.

I had a talk with BF about it, about me wanting to write, but it being almost impossible to survive on that (mortgage to pay,...). We've always been very 50/50 were costs of living are concerned, except when I was unemployed. So when he said that in a year or two, we might have enough financial leg room for me to work part-time and write part-time, where he would obviously have to bear a heavier financial burden, I was quite surprised.

Truth be told, I hadn't even dared to think about that option, as I thought it wouldn't be acceptable. But now that he mentioned it, I'm so impatient!