seshat's blog post - Self confidence

I've always had self confidence issues. Mostly physical (acne, stretch marks, and more recently being overweight. Although it's not a good frame of mind, I guess I'm used to it.

More alarming though is that my psychological self confidence seems to have gone down the drain as well. I find myself looking at job ads, seeing that I don't have the skills or knowledge they are looking for and concluding I shouldn't apply because I doubt my capacity to learn. And then there's my lazy procrastinating side as a bonus.

And then there is also this feeling lately of annoying 'everybody' I know. Strangely, it's not only a feeling of lacking friends and support (I don't have many real life friends and they have moved abroad), it's also sad to realise that I'm nobody's best friend. When they have problems, I'm never the first one they call. If they call at all. What does that say about me? That I'm bad at connecting with people I guess...

I think I need a serious overhaul of my way of thinking, I seem to be incapable of seeing my own strong points lately, my flaws loom larger than life. Another negative blog, I apologise, I guess I needed to get it out of my system.

Oh well, I think I'll do some reading now, at least a book can't complain