Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !"

"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.

"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her
home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we
were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in
the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and
hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the
customer went on.

"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're
naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy
son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"

"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a
lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when
they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when
the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet
is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose
right on my head !"

The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw
that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground.

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a
water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen
another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was
chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you
are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both
three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a
minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the
bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and
immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of
the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all
the bears in the next forest were female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it
and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was
asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked
for money and bought the motorcycle.

For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I
wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."

For the third wish, The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

Let me say first that everything is ok, so as not to worry anyone. And you should see my doctor.......damn shes a real hottie....lol. Did I say that out loud. Lost 4 of the 14 lbs I had gained, and got an ass chewing for it. She says I need to be 120 lbs. She says I will look good at that weight, and so does night. so who knows maybe I will get there. And valleybud, I promised a blog about the extreme orgasm, I will blog it when I post the pic to go with it. . Hope everyone is having a great day.

I hate shopping !!!!! well today anyways. Went shopping from store to store gathering hurricane supplies. You never know, maybe we will need em, maybe not. Better to be safe than sorry.

Just sending out prayers, to all who fell victim to todays tragedy.
HUGGGS to all our UK, nn friends.

You know I had forgotten how tiny a babies hands are. We had our first trip to the doctor today. He has gained 9 ounces and is a week old now, starting to smile alot, and makes those cute lil cooing noises. In so many ways I realize I have missed this. But, am glad its my grandbaby and not another of my own.

A real nice day. It's damn hot, and so humid, but lots of sunshine and no rain yet today. Yay!!!!!!!!!

I have been here at NN for over a year. Never have I recieved a pm as bad as I did today. Yes i do have the intelligence to be a grandma. No I am NOT a stupid american girl. And no i'm not going to hell, and if I do its not because you want me to go there...lmao !!!!. Ya know I didn't start the fucking wars between the countries and I am not going be blamed for people dying in them. I wish there wasn't such things as wars but that is something beyond my control and I am sorry for all that have died in them. I really am so pissed right now and probably shouldn't be blogging about this, but I am pissed. So please fellow NN members when you want to blame someone for the damn war dont blame me. And yes I am American and damn proud of it. However I am not stupid.

Today started out really crappy. More rain just what we need. But it cleared up for a bit and the sun came out and got real humid. So I took advantage of it and went shopping.It is miserable outside now, hot and sticky. But I guess I shouldn't complain I guess it could be worse. At least theres not a hurricane out there.lol.

Happy Canada Day to our northern friends.