carrots grow funny nowadays

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother and father kiss you on the cheek."

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the house, the Madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put a doll in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said,
"I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned. How was it for you?"
The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."
The first man asked, "How's that?"
"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!"

Some think bikers are mean
Some dressed in leathers and others in jeans
You don't like our patches or the clothes that we wear
You hate our bandannas and you hate our long hair
You don't like our scooters and our loud noisy pipes
You think we're not loyal to the stars and stripes
You don't like our patches that are worn on our vests
You think we're so different from all the rest
But the truth is, Mister, we're kind of alike
You drive a car and I ride a bike
You have no tattoos painted on your arm
But we fought side by side over in Nam
So the next time your children are running around
Enjoying their freedom and the fun that they've found
Remember us bikers and all that we do
We feed our lost veterans, we're Red, white and blue !
We bring toys for tots and toys for a smile
By riding our bikes for miles and miles
You see, us bikers have never forgot
Our homeless veterans and our homeless tots
We are loyal to our clubs and true to our bro's
We will always wear black from our heads to our toes
Society once said that long hair was for fags
But you'll never see a biker burning a flag
Now the tattoos and leather you don't understand
Stands for free independence that us bikers demand
Our long hair and patches and bikes with loud pipes
is a tribute to our freedom, the Stars and Stripes
So before you make up your mind on just what I might be
Take a look in the mirror and what do you see?
The man that you see that is staring right back
Is not too much different from that biker in black.

Ride Safe , Ride Free !!

Author Unknown




Happy Sunday All
SMO4

Started out Friday morning on the bike, got our asses soaked by the rain. Decided to turn around and go back home. So we did, and got the Expedition. We drove it up instead. I didn't want to miss seeing StrawB and Shooter.
Spent the day there and had Peach Cobbler and coffee for breakfast, and again Shooter ty so much it was delicious. And ty and Straw for opening up your home to us.
We had a great time today, just wish it could been a longer stay. But we will definately be back soon.
And to anyone that doesn't yet know, StrawB and Shooter are wonderful people. We went to a nice Mexican Resturant for lunch, and went to see the sites.. And had a wonderful time sitting around and laughing with you two. We still have a lil ways to go to get home yet and it is still raining, but we will call when we get there.

And btw you have a beautiful smile lady

Signing off before I loose connection again, and remebering the fun today.

Hugggggs all,
SMO4 and Night

I pretty much got everything done and ready to hit the road tommorrow. So stop panicing Straw.....lol.

Got the clothes packed, my make-up, overnight bag is ready, camera with extra batteries and memory cards, and the camcorder is charged for if we have room for it. I am lookin at what I got to go and the little space in the saddlebags and trunk on the bike. I dunnooooo.....lol. But it will be fine.

Shooter is making us some homemade peach cobbler, thx shooter I can't wait to taste it.

And yes I will get pics with straw, hehe.
Figuring 6 or 7 hours to get there with stoppin every hour or so for fuel mayube, so we will see ya when ya get home from work tommorrow straw and shoot.


Happy Thursday all,

Only a lil longer till we hit the road.
Making note to self, go to bed early so I don't oversleep.

Hugs all,
SMO4 and Night

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Enjoy,
Happy Tuesday All
SMO4

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE(age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six "

STEVEN(age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN(age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"


******************************************************************
And this one my son actually said to me when he was about 5 y.o.
They were talking about a cereal killer on tv, and he looked up at me and asked, why do they call them cereal killers, do they use boxes of cereal to kill them with?

Enjoy,
SMO4

So Straw and Shoot, I hope you are home Friday Night. I will return your movie then since I can't remember to mail it.......haha.
And yes I got my camera, 3 batteries, and 4 memory cards, so I can get pix.
We decided that this weekend we are gonna take off and go to a different state and ride without rain......crossing fingers and toes.....lmao.
We are gonna play hookie from work on Friday and leave for Georgia, ride Georgia all day Saturday, and come back Sunday, maybe .
Planning on finding some homemade fresh peach cobbler up there somewhere, and maybe a pecan pie.
Road Trip to Happyville. Gonna have a sore ass but in a good way.
Heading to the shed to grab a small suitcase.
SMO4 and Night

to you all.
I don't mind the rain but I hate the thundering and lightening. But I guess we have to take the good with the bad.

Hugggggs to you all.
SMO4