mdguy, so I sent you a message 'cause I can and now you too have access to that yummy oh so groovy coolness.

tight-wet-lips, I did Not send you a message 'cause you don't have a link on yer profile for that sorta thing so you Don't have access to that oh so yummy and groovy coolness...

and I don't think I can post a direct link to an mp3 here as that might freek some folks out and I don't wanna freek the powers that be out.

However, I CAN plug my website, it's torbtown.com, and the name of the groovy coolness is Dreamy_Party.mp3, and I'm Sure yer clever enough to put two and two together and find the thing...

or ask mdguy or poke around my site until you find my email address and just send me a note...

or not *shrugs* me not care, I got the thing already, ya know? I just like to share goodness when it comes my way, tha's all...

Now then, about the bikini, yer both wrong. Ya see, my tits don't sag, so I don't need the top... just the thong, (and I think hot pink would go well with my skin tone) the hip high white boots, and let's not forget my fifteen foot long multi colored scarf *smirks* oh ya, I Love dancing in that thing, soooo much better than a boa, longer, stronger, doesn't shed, good for so many interesting...things. *grins* Ya Baby! Can you say Tom Baker?

Thanks fer the feedback, you guys are too cool.

rock on
twj

all I got to say is Jack Arel,

sometimes it's called "Bienvenue Mister Jones" sometimes it's "Dream Party" but I found it in a torrent as "A,B, & C, Dreamy Party"

find it

or hit me up and I'll send you a copy

Go-Go at it's BEST

no shit

body paint and dance cage here I come

rock on
twj

So,

If I Never heard the word "Look" again, it'd be too soon.

For most parents I think the crazy making word is "Why?", but fer me it's "Look" *sighs*

Now then, as you know, I Love my daughter like there's no tomorrow and there is Nothing I'd rather do more than just spend the rest of my life "Looking" at her antics and discoveries...

But "Look" is more than just a casual glance, "Look" is an indepth study. "Look" is a Stop Everything and focus 110% of your attention on This NOW statement.

And, even if you do that, even if you drop Everything and come Running and really Really REALLY LOOK, you ain't Lookin' Right, bub. Oh No. Even though yer Looin' So Hard that yer eyeballs start to bleed, it ain't hard enough, you ain't doin' it right, and you sure as hell ain't SEEING IT, at least not correctly... 'cause while yer sitting there, Looking with all your heart, all your soul, all your love and compassion, Looking with both eyes, both ears, and alla the rest of your body so hard your hair hurts, yer still being told (rather insistently) to "Look" *sighs*

"Why?" I can handle, I like "Why?" I'll chat "Why?" with my daughter 'till the cows come home and then some, I LOVE "Why?"

But "Look" *sighs* "Look" is gonna be the death of me... 'cause try as I might, I just can't seem to get it right.

And it's frustrating as all hell, too, 'cause I got a Lot to do these days, and I can't do any of it while I'm completely failing to "Look" properly...

These past few weeks have been nothing but perpetual Cleaning... mmph.

See, the ex got MRSA from her current bf and brought it home with her, didn't know what it was for the longest time so ended up spreading nice flesh eating alien bacteria all over the house, and, of course, now my three and half year old daughter has it too.

Imagine my joy.

Now then, the ex and I don't hang out much, but I'm all over my kid every day, fortunately I somehow managed to stay clean (so far, knock on wood)... there's been some other stuff too, cold and flu bugs... the upshot of alla that is that I'm the 'clean and healthy' one.

And as such it has fallen upon yours truly to triple clean Everything Constantly... wash alla the bedding and cloths, go over alla the surfaces with disinfectent, keep the little one cleaner than clean, etc.

Oh, and give medicine *rolls eyes* I'm the biggest loooooooser on the face of the planet.... until it's time to give the little one eye drops or nose drops or ear drops or nasty yucky teaspoons of Medicine...

Then I'm a GOD... a no nonsense hogtie the little rug rat and heal that critter before the wolves sense weakness and nip off with my little bundle of joy...

Of course it is at those moments that the Only person I care about in the whole world sees me as the biggest, meanest, nastiest Loooooser on the face of the planet *sighs*

I can't win. *shrugs*

On an up note, it looks like an old comrade from my Alaska days is gonna pay me visit come new years. On top of that, said comrade is a cute chick I've always had a nice lusty crush on (and never hid it) And since I never hid said lusty crush, over the years said lusty crush has become incorporated into our Friendship... not a fuck buddy kinda friendship, we've never even kissed or anything, but into our Friendship.

Hope she makes it... it'll be good to actually chat some of this crap face to face with a friend 'cause gods knows I ain't got the time to write it all out what with alla the "Look"ing and cleaning and other stuff I gotta do all day long, ya know?

oh well, one day at a time.

rock on people
twj

just 'cause I don't post that doesn't mean I ain't alive..

It just means that I don't have a life that includes much free time...

or grass...

or blow jobs...

or anything else that is mind numbingly fun in that mind numbing way, like, say video games...

or porn...

or re-runs of Star Trek

or reading other folks blogs (sorry)

I do, however, read emails (well, not the spam ones or the silly forwards, but the 'real' ones) as I have to check if for work on a more or less regular basis...

there's enough info in these posts to hunt me down and hit me up... don't be shy.

you KNOW I'd spam the 'ell outta You if I had the chance *grins*

thus endeth my 'free time' for the day.

rock on

mmph.

So, I think I hate people.

Oh, not All people... certainly not my daughter, or you, but the rest of 'em? blah. Freeks the lot of 'em.

For example, there's this actor dude who want me to cut a demo reel for him... chomping at the bit to get it done, actually. So I tell him what I need to do the job and he drags his feet. Then, on my one day off, when I'm as far away from home and computer as I can possibly get, he shows up and drops off alla his clips in the wrong format and on the wrong media, and didn't leave me any blank media to work with, and ups the stress level by stating this needs to be Done by Monday *rolls eyes*

Then why drag the feet, give me the wrong stuff, and not leave me any media to burn to, hmmm?

blah.

Then there's my Best Friend. He calls me up the other day, says he's in my hood, not fifteen minutes away, and was thinking about swinging by.

Too Cool.

Long story short, six hours later and he never stopped by.

mmph.

And that's my Best Friend *laughs*

And then there's the Ex... Now then, the Ex is just that... EX, but we're still 'friends' and we Are raising this kid together, so there is time spent together...

Anyway, as Exes we have 'private lives' (she more so than me *shrugs*) which is Fine, but the Ex is having some problems with her boyfriend... what those problems are I'll never know 'cause apparently I'm not That good of friend. mmph. However, I Do get to deal with the fits of anger, the bouts of tears, and the 'something has come up' sudden changes in plans / schedules.

blah.

And then there's me, see. On Time. Reliable. Dependable. And Very open about the crap that bothers me.

Maybe if I was stressed out, always late, incapable of following simple instructions, blew off my closest friends on a regular basis, and tight lipped about the stuff that ticks me off I too would get laid more...

But where's the fun in that? *grins*

Thank the gods for porn and chocolate.

I gotta go

Rock on

*laughs*

Okay, so, I rock *shrugs* I still don't know why so many women shave though. So many fads don't phase me in the slightest... purple spiked hair, black leather with studs, piercings, tatts, Rubics Cube... it's all in one eye and out the other as it were...

But I can't get over the shaved thing... which kinda ticks me as I don't like to believe that I'm that shallow as to be hung up on a physical attribute, ya know?

And it's not since I became a dad, either... The shaved thing has Always turned me off. The whole symbol of adulthood IS pubic hair, ya know? Without it yer just a kid...

If you peeked at any of the pics I linked to earlier you may have noticed that I usually have hair on my face... Basically I'm just lazy, I don't like shaving, especially regularly. In the winter it's warmer, in the summer it's cooler, it doesn't bother me to have it and it Does bother me to shave it, so I usually just let it do its thing....

Every now and then I'd go crazy and just shave my whole head though... I'd get sick of wearing a hairnet/beardnet, sick of washing it, my favorite hat didn't fit right anymore, sick of my kid grabbing handfuls of it and yanking me around... some hedonistic urge would overcome me and away it went *shrugs*

Never for aesthetics though.

And yet, invariably, everytime I did it folks would come at me and say 'Wow! You look so much younger!' *rolls eyes*

Is that supposed to be a compliment or something?

Seriously.

I'm forty two now, and I've Busted My Ass to make it this far and still have alla my fingers and toes intact. Last thing I wanna hear is some bozo Negate the past ten years of my life, ya know? Like I wanna be a thirty something dweeb? (Or, when I was in my thirties, a Twenty something dweeb? *shudders*)

Oh sure, when we were that age for real, we were the shit, we were on top of it, hot, cool, with it, and oh so together... but when we look back on that age a decade later... man, what were we thinking, right?

I look back on some of the crap I wrote a decade ago and it makes me laugh... testosterone bloated know it all bozoboy, that was me, see. And the decade before that, same thing only more so...

NOW though *preens* Now I'm just a testosterone bloated bozoboy who Really Does know it all *laughs*

Can't wait for the next decade to roll around *smirk*

the little one is waking up...

which means I gotta go

rock on

mdguy:

*laughs*

doesn't matter about your orientation comrade, the sentiment is the same, and I agree, Very Few people can pull it off. I'm just curious why so many folks do it...

It can't be a 'comfort' thing as I doubt it's alla That comfortable... especially when it starts to grow back in again...

Not a lotta fashions require complete shaving... trimming perhaps, but shaving? mmph.

A lotta the folks who shave don't wear said fashions anyway so tha's not it...

There is something else going on here... Media Hype perhaps... lack of original thought, sheeple do what sheeple see kinda thing...

And if it's an attempt to look Really Young then ya gotta wonder... ain't that kinda sick?

Remember, I'm from Alaska, age of consent there is fifteen, I'm not opposed to 'young', but there's a line and pre-pubescent Crosses that line.

mmph.

I'm gonna go make some quiche.

ya ya, I know I know, I chat with a gay guy, (bi?) I like quiche, I play dress up with my daughter, but I ain't foo foo.

Weird, huh?

so it goes.

as do I.

rock on

It's been a few days since the last one of these, huh?

Wink of an eye for me... this happens a lot, get used to it....

I would like to say something terribly exciting happened here in my little world

I would like to say there have been lotsa cool people, mountains of bong hits, never ending feasts, and good times all around...

The reality is that nothing much happened here except a decided lack of sleep (on my part, the munchkin is well rested and fully energized... and kicking my butt on a regular basis *laughs*)

So, poking around some of the pictures available to us here on NN I notice that a Lot of women shave their pubic hair...

What's With That?

Why?

Is it really more comfortable?

I mean, unless you happen to live to in a nudist colony it's not really much of an inducer to attract mates, ya know? No one is gonna know until you take yer clothes off, and if they ain't prepared for that, well, folks like Me are gonna run for the hills... no way in 'ell am I going to get wicked with someone who reminds me of my three year old daughter *shudders* that's just creepy.

Would love to get some feed back on this as it seems to be a very popular thing to do...

'kay, duty calls

I go

rock on

Okay,

On the one hand it's kinda creepy talkin' 'bout my kid in a blog on a site with over ten thousand pictures of facials (an' tha's just the facials) especially when my kid's a chick... a three year old chick... who is gonna grow up to be one hot momma someday, and maybe end up with pics of her own on a site like this...

On the other hand she has pretty much been my life these past three plus years and therefore is pretty much all I got ta chat about that is 'recent'..... other than the escapades of my crazy ex... but those are rather mundane, boring, blah, and, well, tha's Her life, not mine so who cares, right?

A little more about my.... situation.

A while back I tried a site called Craigslist, ever hear of it? Basically it's the ultimate classifieds. Everything from lonely souls to lawn mowers can be found on CL.

Basically the personal ads were pretty much like I remember from pre-internet days, back when you had to go out of your way to get the Special underground newspaper with 'those' types of ads in it...

things like:

BBW seeks SBM for BDSM, will host.

Huh?

I'm sorry, is that military jargon? NASA talk?

It was boring then and it's boring now.

Now then, you've probably noticed by now that I'm anything but 'normal' and posting a cryptic add like that just ain't fer me.

So I did what I do best, babble.

And Man did I babble. *laughs* Oh, you think some of these rants are Long? This is nuthin'. I really let 'em have it.

After a couple o' days I noticed it was becoming a habit. I love to write. I also hate to repeat myself too much so my style settled into an intro saying this is number such and such, if you want the earlier ones send me an email, I'll send you a link to the old ones that I have archived on my site.

I got a truck load of requests for the link.

Everyday.

Chicks were eating that crap up left and right *sighs*

gig is, that's ALL they were doing *laughs* They didn't want squat to do with ME, they just wanted another dose of good old fashioned Alaskan Lazy *sighs* Voyeuristic freeks.

Out of over 300 'please send me the link' requests, two (count 'em, TWO) actually wanted to hook up and have a cup of coffee. Neither played cribbage and both were mad as a hatter. mmph.

Then, one day, after posting a rather lame 'Lazy' on CL, I got a notification from the CL machine telling me that my most recent ad just got Flagged and Deleted....

I'll never know for sure the who what where when why of it, maybe it was one of the two crazy ladies that flagged me off, maybe is was some jealous no-neck dude who couldn't string more than seven words together (me hung like horse, come do me) maybe it was just somebody that flagged anything that went past the scroll line, I dunno *shrugs*

A brief chat with the CL powers that be ticked me to no end and I vowed never to go back there again.

They said I was BLOGGING and that BLOGGING was a no no on CL.

Now then, this may come as a big fat surprise to you, but I actively HATE 'blogs'.

Oh yes.

Despise the things.

To me, a 'blog' is something you find floating in the toilet or stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Remember, I'm OLD, and I was shoving content onto the internet years before the word 'blog' entered into our common vocabulary. (um, you Do know that 'blog' stands for 'web log', yes? okay, good, I was pretty sure you did, just wanted to clarify that)

Web logs are nutty crunchy, passive and Safe. Folks have to hunt you down and do it themselves. If they don't do it, they don't get it...

Not my style, at least not back then.

I was a Spammer. A very prolific Spammer. A 'in your face with a wet fish' spammer.

And after months and months of spamming I'd go into my 'sent' folder, round up alla my sent emails, and archive them on my web site (ergo a web log of stuff I'd sent)

But the archive was just that, a repository of OLD CRAP, not new content. It was after the fact, the damage had already been done...

Somewhere near the end of last century / beginning of this century some bozo somewhere decided it would be cool to make it Really Easy for anybody and their brother (and the horse they rode in on) to publish content on the internet, taking control away from us lifeless geeks.

I'm all for folks publishing whatever they want on the net, I'm anti censorship, and on the one hand I think it's pretty nifty that any bozo anywhere can do it rather easily these days...

On the other hand I hate all blogs and forums and I'll tell you why:

Google.

Remember a million years ago when you'd go search for something on the net (back then Yahoo and Lycos were the hot ones) and you'd get a few hundred, maybe a few thousand results back, and pretty much ALL of those results were 'relevant'?

Now it doesn't matter What you search for, yer gonna get over one hundred thousand (maybe even a million or even Millions) of results back, and NONE of them are relevant.

Why?

Blogs and Forums. *sighs*

We're flooding the net with useless garbage.

Myself included.

Now then, I'm doing this in a pitiful attempt to get laid. But most folks? Let's face it, wind bags, the lot of 'em. A buncha non geek freeks floodin' the net with dribble 'cause they like to see their name in print. mmph.

But back to my.... situation. Remember my situation? I started this with my situation.

I still have alla the CL crap archived on my site. Some good bits there. You may notice that I recycled some of it here. And since I don't wanna recycle any more of it, and I sure as 'ell don't wanna re-write any of it, I've decided to post the link to that particular archive here for your amusement and to further clue folks in on who and what I am and what's going down.

[url]http://www.torbtown.com/craigslist/[/url]

Now then, I have a very slim window of opportunity to go 420 with a dude and FRAG on HL2... how's That for personal ad military nasa jargon? *laughs*

rock on

So,

Before things get too confusing I should probably point out that my ex did not dump me for some other dude.

Nawww, she just fell out of love with me *shrugs*

Of Course that was a bit of a shock at the time, but, well, it's 'spilt milk', ya know? My life experiences have taught me that you can't force folks to love you, and that you can't 'go back'. In fact, dwelling in and on the past ain't alla that healthy.. sooo, one day at a time, and a forward we will go.

She's had a hard time adjusting to the fact that I'm "cool" with it.... please don't confuse 'cool' with 'happy'. *pokes* I'm not happy with spilt milk, my kid does it alla the time, but what are ya gonna do? There it is, puddle of milk on the sofa, going sour. Smack my kid? Get Real. Yell at her? Gimme a break.

You clean it up, get another glass of milk, find some cartoons on the boob tube, and Move On *shrugs*

So, my ex fell outta love with me shortly after our daughter was born. And since my ex is the bread winner with the promising career, I've been the one taking care of the little one these past three plus years while the ex pays the bills, (and gets to have a life outside of the house, a career, friends, dates, etc.)

As Any 'stay at home' parent will tell you, raising a kid (or kids) is Hard Work. I mean, I'm one tough sob used to insanely long hours in incredibly Harsh environments but my life on the rock was Disneyland compared to child raising *laughs* No, really, it's THAT hard. They just don't quit, ya know? At least back on the rock the fish would stop fornicating, the season would come to an end, and you'd get a little break from time to time...

Not so with kids...

They just keep gettin' bigger, stronger, faster, and Smarter.

And it's their job as kids to Push the Envelope.

And push they do *laughs*

Hard.

Morning noon and night *sighs*

Anyway, it wasn't until just recently that the little one was big enough to entertain herself, have play dates, get bored with good ol' dad... in short, this is the first time since making her that I've had much of a chance to catch my breath and ponder the notion of good old fashioned Adult creature comforts *shrugs*

And I ain't just talking about fornicating here, it's the Other stuff. Like, a rousing game of cribbage. Anybody play cribbage? And not on-line cribbage *shudders* That's like on-line sex, kinda fun and exciting the first few times, then boring, dull, predictable, and a Very poor substitute for the real thing. We'd play crib a lot back on the rock... whip out a game or two between boats, dime a point... great way to make (or lose) beer money.

And Movies *dreamy* Not that I haven't seen Shrek, Finding Nemo, Happy Feet, Cars, Beauty and xxxxx, and a whole slough of other (really good) kid flicks a Zillion times now, but, well, you know... every now and then I wouldn't mind watching something a bit more mindless, without a moral, a plot, or pc... Sam Peckinpah maybe, or a stupid Bruce Willis movie with lotsa cursing and blood... or the old Star Trek with Cap'n Kirk and the gang...

The kinds of movies you sit around with friends and chat and make fun of the entire time, ya know? mmph.

And, of course, every time I have those thoughts there comes a pang of guilt 'cause my kid really is way way cool and tons of fun to be with...

But, well, it's Not "a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and Elmo", ya know? (btw, I've met the voice of Elmo... NOT the kinda guy you'd expect to be playing the voice of an annoying red fur ball on Sesame Street, lemme tell ya)

Anyway, I'm digressing... and loosing focus...

Just know that I don't have a clue what I'm lookin' for and I've always had my best luck when I ain't lookin' but rather just puttin' it all out there *shrugs*

Now then, about that game o' crib.... I'll even spot you ten points *grins*

Munchkin calls

I go

rock on