Oh Mr X. Why after all of this time do you still have my number tucked away in your phone?

I know you’re gorgeous and keen to meet up again. But seriously Dude. You have a wife and not one but two kids now. I think it’s time you delete my number and go home to be a good Dad and decent Husband.

Who propositions a girl by saying “Busy? Gotta kill 40 mins?”? Seriously! I’ve not spoken to you in over a year and that’s the best thing that you could think of? Thank goodness he can’t remember how to get to my house. I don’t know what I would have done if he had just rocked up at my doorstep unannounced!

I advised him that I didn’t think that it was such a good idea for him to pop in, his response? “Why? Don’t you trust yourself to just say hi?” I reminded him to the fact that we had never met up just to say hi. Meeting up to say hi to this guy always ended up with his dick up my arse. And while I always enjoyed it, it’s two days out from Christmas. Its 38 degrees outside today, I’m hot, grumpy and need a cold beer. I don’t need Mr X to drop in to be Prince Charming, mumble some awkward small talk and then expect for me to either give him a hummer or let him bone me up the ass!

I reminded him to the fact that last time we spoke I told him it was not going to happen again until he arrives at my door with signed divorce papers. It was a little bit of fun when he had a girlfriend, a tad more exciting after he was engaged and a super huge turn-on after he was married. But now that he’s a Dad, he seems to have lost his sparkle.

I told him to go home, put the kids to bed. Cook his wife dinner and bang her til she begs him to stop. He confessed that now that they have two kids, she’s not interested in sex and is always too tired and never in the mood. And here I am thinking that getting married means you have sex on tap? If this is the case, I never want to get married! I love orgasms way too much to give them up for a marriage certificate and two screaming kids!

He continued pushing me until finally I asked him how he would feel if one day down the track he found out that the libidoless wife had been banging the next door neighbour like a dunny door. I asked him to put himself in her shoes. Was coming over to say ‘Hi’ to me worth the potential heartache to his wife and kids? Just like that he got it. Married guys with two kids need to keep their cocks in their pants.

It was nice knowing you Mr X, but these days your trophy is slightly tarnished and now pushed to the back row of my collection.

We’ll always have the memories x

You can't alwats getbwhat you want... Even when you change your mind about what it is that you want and how you go about getting it!

Some things should just be left as they are!

I have an online dating account. I won't bore you with the details of which site it is or what my username is - Mainly because I don't want you all to see it! But kudos to you if you've found it and have had a look! It started off as a joke type thing one drunken night. All above board and innocent and more so for a laugh than anything else.

I was curious to see who and what was out there after just coming out of a international long distance relationship. I had been out of the Melbourne dating game for over 3 years. I thought online dating may have been a convenient way of meeting people without having to put in much effort. You know, being able to chat online and get to know people whilst sitting in bed in my PJs instead of wasting countless hours and effort getting all dolled up to go out on what is essentially a blind first date. I don't really have much experience with the whole date thing, and to tell the truth, I don't really care for it!

At first I came across a lot of people just wanting a quick hook up. That was similar to what I was looking for at the time. I was far from ready to jump straight into another relationship after being hurt so badly in my previous one. I wanted to get to know a little about them before becoming bed buddies. I'm not so much of a slapper that I'd jump into bed with any old Joe Blow and Whatshisname. I am picky. Not too picky that all of my partners must be over 6 feet tall, ripped like Calvin Klein underwear models and have the face of an angel, but they need to be appealing to me in some way. Whether it be the color of their eyes, their sense of humour or a cheeky smile. Just because I have a profile on a dating website and am looking for a partner from said site, does not mean I don't still have the right to be a little picky. Right?

I went through all of the messages I'd been sent and came across a gentleman - I'll call him "Trumpet Face", because the way his lips stuck out made him look and sound like a trumpet - He was in the age range I was searching for, from his photos he looked like what I was looking for and from chatting to him online and on the phone I decided that he seemed interesting enough to meet. We met in a pub in South Melbourne for a beer and a bite to eat. Things were all good even though we were both a little nervous. Soon, the conversation was flowing, we laughed. We got on like a house on fire. Our food came out and it went downhill from there.

He began talking about his last girlfriend that died, and how sad and lonely he was. I felt sorry for him and tried to change the subject but he wouldn't let me. I started to eat my dinner before it went cold but he kept trying to hold my fork holding hand. Do you know how hard it is to eat a parma and drink beer with one hand?! Things calmed down. He stopped talking about the dead ex. He let go of my hand, and instead opted for playing footsies with me under the table. I tolerated this, but I'm no fan of PDAs! I became quite uncomfortable in this situation, so I scoffed my dinner and made an excuse for a rapid departure.

He walked me to my car and proceeded to stick his tongue down my throat! Yuk! I was disgusted. To make it worse, he stuck his hand down the back of my jeans at the same time! I had to stop myself from biting the tip his tongue off! To top it off, the next day Trumpet Face called me 6 times and texted me 38 times! STALKER ALERT! I texted him back and told him I didn't think we should see each other again, and that he should probably delete my number. I had escaped!

I was a bit scarred from the first dude, so I stopped checking my messages for a little while. After I had put the whole disaster behind me and built up the confidence, I went back for round two.

Enter "The Quiet Man". With this guy just like Trumpet Face, we chatted online, swapped happy snaps and spoke on the phone. We met in China Town. He was 40 minutes late. Not a good start. We found a restaurant, got seated, ordered our meals and drinks. I ordered a beer, he ordered a lemonade. 'Uh oh' screamed the voices in my head 'He's a tea totaller!' I struck up a conversation about his job, and just things in general. He answered all of my questions with only one or two short words and totally avoided eye contact with me. Houston, we have a problem! This dude was a Nervous Nelly! Not my type at all. Not that I really have a type.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and luckily had a text from a friend who was out drinking in the city who asked if I wanted to join him. Phew! YoYo, my saviour! I came back from the bathroom and tried to get a complete sentence out of The Quiet Man. No luck. It was getting late, 9pm, and I was getting bored. I told him a little white lie; that I'd unfortunately have to call it a night as I had work early the next day. Naughty me. He walked me to the taxi rank and then continued on to where his car was parked. As soon as he was out of sight I bolted to the bar where my friend, more beer and fun times were waiting! Exit The Quiet Man.

After two extremely different dates from hell I decided that single guys were too weird and needy for me so I began searching for a man looking for a play mate outside of his current relationship. A local "Married Guy" turned up. He lived close by. He fit my search criteria. He was married so I knew he would not be clingy, and above all we would not have to go through that awkward dating stage I hate so much.

Married Guy was cool for a while but his sexual desires far surpassed anything I was willing to stretch to - Literally Now, I'm no vanilla. I have a few slight kinks. I've had sex in almost every position thinkable and in many different locations including a grave yard. I've put things in places that those things probably shouldn't ever go. I've fucked a man with a strap-on. I've tried dress ups and role play. I own extreme anal jewellery. I've had a threesome. I even got into Japanese rope bondage for a little while. So, as you could imagine, I'm up for pretty much anything at least once. But unfortunately when he bought over a butt plug with the girth of a James Squire beer bottle and an inflatable vaginal stretcher I had to call it quits! There were other factors like the amount of sweat that would drip off him and onto me during sex. Gross. Goodbye and good luck Married Guy.

The next guy I came across I found at my place of employment. I can't really say too much about this guy, as I don't want to give away his identity so, I'll call him Mr X. I can tell you that he wasn't a colleague, he was a contractor for the construction company working where I worked at the time. As I was a team Leader, I got to spend a bit of time with him one on one during the course of his duties at work which gave us the chance to chat and get to know each other. He had a girlfriend when I first began seeing him, who over time became his fiancee and finally his wife. He even asked for my advice on what kind of ring he should get her. Weird, I know. I told him that for once it's not the size that counts, it's the color and clarity of the rock that does!

It was in one of our deep and meaningfuls he confessed that he had never experienced anal sex. I was shocked! How could Mr X - probably the best looking and easy to get along with guy I'd ever met - never of had the chance to explore up the dirt track? I told him that I usually have quite the desire for anal sex and sometimes favoured having a wang in the stink instead of the pink! This intrigued him and we began to excessively flirt.

One afternoon out of the blue I got a text from him asking if I was home alone. I let him know that indeed I was. 10 minutes later he was at my door. I yoinked him into my house by his belt and threw him onto my bed. I kissed my way down his body until I got to his jeans. I ripped them off as fast as I could - It was then I saw his underpants. They were bright green Mitch Dowd briefs, complete with a cheeky monkey printed on the front, grinning in my face! I cracked up laughing and told him I was going to spank his monkey! I gave him a mind blowing blow job and after he had time to re-charge I popped his anal cherry. The poor thing didn't last all too long but was happy none the less. We have hooked up many times, mostly in my car, which can be pretty hard now that I drive a ute with only front seats. Where there is a will there is a way! Mr X is the centerpiece of my trophy collection, and I'm in no rush to delete his number. Mr X's wife is expecting their first child.

Moving on! I had a bit of a break from Mr X about 8 months ago. I had a moment of morality. I came to the conclusion that I was ready to find a man of my own, instead of continually borrowing someone else's. I wanted a man of my own to hang out with and not just in the bedroom. I thought I may have even been ready for another relationship, instead of gate crashing other people's. So back to the online dating website I went. Searching high and low for a decent single guy. I was getting so many messages from so many dropkicks. They were saying things like "Nice tits, I'd love to cum all over them." Gross. That's really not the way to a girl's heart nor is it the way to get into this girl's panties. You need to be a little more suave and creative than that.

Earlier this year along came The Gentle Giant. He introduced himself as the defender of Gotham City. This made me laugh. This earns you brownie points to get into my panties. He officially had my attention. I was into this guy. Big time. Our first meeting was at a local groove spot with a secret garden out back. The weather was still nice so we smashed a few brews. Before we knew it, it was closing time. I offered him a ride. He accepted. Turns out he lives around the corner from me. More brownie points awarded to The Gentle Giant, I stepped into the Bat Cave. We had another beer and watched Crocodile Dundee II on the telly box. Because I was getting really into him, I didn't want to let this guy know how much of a naughty little nympho I can be, so I told him it was getting late and that I should head home. He walked me to my car where we chased some stray cats out of his yard and into the street. We kissed. I got wet and wanted to go back inside and have my wicked way with him, but xxxxxx myself to be a good girl and go home - Alone. I just thought that a nice boy like him would be looking for a nice girl. So that's who I was going to be - For now anyway. I molested myself three times that night imagining what it would be like to fuck him.

A few weeks passed. The Gentile Giant had been busy with work. We finally met up for drinks again. I took him on a mini pub crawl of the local area. He said he'd been living around here for a few years but not been out exploring the local watering holes. I even showed him the old morgue. I'm not sure why I did that but, it was on the way to the next pub so I swung by. He seemed interested by it. We drank until late and ended up back at his place yet again. Again the telly went on and we had a couple more beers. And me wanting to be the good girl, tried ever so hard not to jump his bones. We made out on the couch for what seemed like a pleasurable forever then he took the lead - just like had I wanted him to. It gets boring being a dominant female after awhile - and he walked me to his boudoir.

We had some pretty good sex by first time standards and then afterwards we snuggled. I can hear the chorus of "Awwwwwwwwww's" sounding off in the distance! I ticked off some more brownie points. I thought BINGO! I've hit the jackpot with this guy! He's cute, can hold a decent conversation, drinks beer, he's good in the sack and he likes to snuggle afterwards. I was in heaven! We awoke in the morning to a sharp knock at the door. He said "It's OK. They'll go away in a minute." Apparently not. It was his mate popping in to help himself to breakfast. The Gentile Giant got up and had a shower. I searched around on the bedroom floor for my clothing and got dressed. Not wanting to be seen by the friend I stayed as quiet as a mouse. After he showered and dressed he discretely walked me to my car. We kissed and said goodbye on the porch. I was so thankful to have my car. I can tell you, it's quite some time since my last walk of shame, and doing it in a car is so much less shameful!

A little time passed and it was not long after my birthday, I got a text to go out for a beer again. I love beer and I really stared to like this guy so I said yes! It was an odd night to be out (it was the Labour Day Weekend) and all of the pubs closed early. This time we ended up at my place. I had the home field advantage - Or so I thought. I still wanted to be a nice girl and not let out the inner nympho. After all, this was technically only our 3rd date! I wanted to rip his clothes off and do him right there on the couch but still didn't want to give him the wrong idea about me. It got late. We ran out of beer and went to bed. We put on a DVD, Zach and Miri make a porno. Maybe we should have put on a real porno. I have quite an extensive collection. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but I know we did not have sex. I do know that we cuddled again.

In the morning we molested each other. That was loads of fun. He rubbed my pussy over my underpants. I couldn't stand it any more. I grabbed his hand and guided one of his fingers deep inside. He made me cum in no time at all. I wanted return the favour so I got in nice and close and wanted nothing more than to slide his rock hard cock down my throat, and give him a blow job that would have made him blow not only his load but also his mind. But I didn't think that good girls would rush into oral sex, so I controlled the urge. We cleaned up, got dressed and I drove him home.

I had not spoken to him for some time. I sent him some naughty videos and pictures. No respose. Something was not right here. I tried to contact him again a few weeks later. Still no reply. Not to my texts or shout outs on MSN. I didn't understand. Then It became totally clear. He had moved on from the boring, straight laced girl he had met in me. I never gave him the chance to unravel unique the layers that make up this Opinionated Little Miss.

I bet he thought I was a boring prude. If only he had taken a peek under my bed and seen my 'toy box'. If only he had caught a glance at the selection of whips, straps and paddles hanging behind by bedroom door. Then he would have known that I wasn't such a shy, goody two shoes after all.

It turns out he is now the boyfriend of a girl that is just like the real outspoken me! Though only two weekends ago we exchanged some very flirty texts. He pulled out of meeting up at the last minute, claiming he didn't have the energy. Perhaps it was his conscience that kicked in and he remembered about his new girlfriend? Good for him. I guess that just means he is one of the good guys. I had come second - Again. Why do I always end up being tossed aside like a piece of garbage? I've tried being me. I've tried being someone else. Neither worked!

Hence the title of this blog. You can't Always get what you want... Even when you change your mind about what it is that you want and how you go about getting it. From now on, I am only going to be the real me. Yes I may be a little crass and straight to the point but that's me. And If you don't like it, then move along. There's nothing here for you to see