i live a quiet part of the country where life seems simple yet i fight nearly everyday with extreme pain and longing. i have suffered through 3 back surgeries and i dont seem to get any better day to day. i wish to go back to work but the company doesnt want the liability of me getting hurt again so for 6 weeks now i have been selling my belongings to keep a roof over my head and the lights on. i finally got a part time job tending bar in the little town near where i live but it only pays enough to keep me fed. due to my dear freinds here on NN and my family here at home have i managed to keep my sanity and not done something stupid. every day that goes by it becomes harder and harder to keep myself straight. my sleep,eating habits,drinking habits have suffered from the stress of losing everything that ive worked so hard to have. but yet i push on instead of doin what so many others in my position have done because, i suppose, i hate to lose and i refuse to be a broken man like so many others. for almost 12 years i have worked to have all the things my parents couldnt give me and now im back where i began my journey. all i retain is the house i live in and the clothes on my back. and why should that be my end? it is not it is a new begining, but where this new beginning takes me i know not. but that is part of the allure isnt it? i will carry on as always and always look to the horizon for the next thing that is bound to happen to me, be it good or bad. |