“Why have you got those marks on your knees?” her friend
asked.
“Oh, it’s making love, doggie style.”
“Well, why don’t you change positions?”
“I’m willing, but the dog isn’t.”
★ ★
Three dogs end up in the vet’s and start talking to each
other.
“Oh well,” sighs the first, “this is it, they’re going to put me
down for worrying sheep.”
“They’re putting me down as well,” says the second dog. “I
bit the postman.”
The two dogs turn to the third dog, a big Alsatian, and ask
him why he is there.
“Well, it happened a couple of days ago. My beautiful
blonde owner got out of the bath, bent down to dry her feet
and I couldn’t help myself. In a flash, I mounted her and
went quite wild.“I see,” reply the other dogs, “so you’re being put down as
well.”...........“Oh no, I’m here to have my nails cut.”**************************************************************
Two sperm were swimming along when one said to the other,
“How long do you reckon it’ll take us to get there?”
“I think we’ve got quite a long way to go yet, we’ve only just
passed the oesophagus.”
★ ★ ★
A frustrated old spinster had read in a woman’s magazine
that the bigger the man’s feet, the bigger his todger. This
piece of information was still in her mind when two days
later a tramp came to the door with the biggest feet she had
ever seen. Quick as a flash, she invited him in and proceeded
to wine and dine him before taking him up to bed. The next
day as he was leaving she shouted at him crossly, “Next time,
wear shoes that fit you.”
★ ★
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