JackD4rp's Blog - page 1

I must shave. That is all.

I haven't written a lamenting poem about a girl in a while. Proud of me?

dom.

The weather feels like summmmmmmmmmmmer!

I don't believe in True Love or Destiny. In fact, I'll go you one step further - I hope, and I pray, that True Love and Destiny do not even exist.

Because if they DO exist, then every hand hold, every tender kiss, every warm embrace, every tear, means nothing. They mean absolutely nothing.

Because if we are meant for our soul mates, and the Universe will find a way to bring us together, then how can it truly mean anything? I can sit on a couch, never moving, and she can lay in her bed, watching TV, and somehow - somehow - the Universe will find a way to bring us together. We can not stop a force as powerful as the Cosmo from doing it's thing. It will find a way.

I would love, for nothing more, to be less true than True Love. Life, and love, is in the fight. It's the moments when you are unsure. You are afraid. You are confused. It's in between every moment that tries to keep you apart. In those moments when you could lose it all.

It is in those moments when you find love.

Because in between those moments are the times when you say; no. No, I will not let this come between what is special to me. I will not let myself come in between what could be great.

It is in those moments when you are asked to be vulnerable to another person, to be willing to let go, fall, let someone in and possibly be hurt. It is in those moments when you'll realize the risk is worth it; because they mean more to you than you mean to yourself.

And love is that. Loving someone more than you love yourself. Trusting someone despite it all. Telling the Universe that you know it doesn't exist where the heart resides, and you know the Universe could give two craps and isn't pulling for anyone, that NOTHING is guaranteed - but you're gonna take your shot. You're gonna go for it - allll in - even if it ends in having your heart smashed a thousand times. This time, anyway.

Because, when you give your heart and everything you've got to someone else, without the guiding push of Destiny or True Love, and that someone gives it back despite their fears and worries - you will find something greater than true love.

You'll find Love.

So to true love and destiny, I say; go take a hike.
To the universe I say; thanks, but no thanks.

I'll take Love - plain ol' Love and all the wonderful risks involved - everyday of the week, and I'll make it True.

No poem. Just a happy valentine's day to all.

I feel devoid of creative energy. Which sucks. It really, really, really sucks. Also typing "really" three times didn't help as much as I'd hoped, and that really, really, really, really sucks.

Writing the end to that last sentence reminded me that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing, and expecting you'll get a different outcome. Which means it is official; I am insane! Beers all around!

Towards the end of last year there were a number of things that repeated. I wouldn't mind if this year started off the same as last year...

Which, if I'm thinking that, makes me wonder if my subconscious is telling me things didn't go as well as I'd hoped with that girl, and there won't be any follow up outings. :/ Well, the ball is in her court so we'll see...

I rarely think of this site anymore. But I do think of this blog. I've posted quite a bit here, and some of it of a very personal nature. At one point I had posted poetry I'd written while I was going through a tough time.

This blog has been a place where I can completely vent, and let all the inner demons out. Let them run free, and make sense.

I think this blog, a few people still left on this site, and the idea that at any time I can log on here and let rip my thoughts without worry of whose reading them is what keeps my account active on this site.

The chatroom was the most boring place in the universe this morning. What the bloody 'ell happened to this site?!? Where'd the fun people go?!