Been trying it on with the neighbour again, used my special move this time which is called "Get her drunk." Not as cheap as I'd anticipated though as behind closed doors she's a very heavy drinker.
I took her to the park first where we enjoyed a six pack of Special Brew each and a fumble in the bushes, when I say fumble I don't mean sex, we just both needed a piss, I reckon she took a shit too though but can't really prove it unless I go back and have a sniff around, maybe later after Bargain Hunt.
After that it was off to hers for vodka and whisky, she likes vodka, I like whisky, and we both like it laced with top notch cocaine, needless to say we were off our tits by three and fucking each other like two really, really drunk people, ie. shitly. So blind drunk in fact that she was sucking off the door handle whilst I fingered the cat, still, we all came, so everone's a winner, apart from the cat maybe which I've definitely broken.
Being a gentlemen I don't like to leave a woman without cum on her tits, I had to this time though as frankly I was spent with the cat, also I'm more of your two blobs and go man ever since I burnt my cock in that Pot Noodle. Beef and tomato.
We both woke up pissed still and sweating, early 'cause I'm on a curfew and she teaches at the primary school, we had a hair of the dog to clear our heads and a couple of joints to come down. We arranged to meet again next week 'cause she says her head mistress loves a threesome and can get hold of some mdma and pills that'll "Proper fuck you up."
Just off now to get a suit for a funeral, probably gonna rob a charity shop, like my dad used to say: "It's not really stealing if a man died in it."
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Hi all its me, the real me, thought I should explain that the above is complete nonsense, just some stuff I write, I was reading the rules of blogging and realised that not only have I got drug references in there but also mention an unfortunate cat, I'm hoping that people take it in the spirit it was intended which is "humour." If you really are offended, apologies. Typical me, only joined a couple of days ago and already broken the rules.
Also, for those of you not from England "Bargain Hunt" is a daytime TV show I used to watch when I was unemployed, and "Special Brew" is a particularly strong, cheap and nasty lager usually associated with alcoholics and tramps (bums), see, educational too, just trying to build some cultural bridges
Anyway, assuming I don't get kicked off I'll speak to you soon,
Peace and Love etc,
Stonesy x