Alpina's Blog - page 100

I got up from Phillip's arms - he is fast asleep after we have spent ourselves totally in our lovemaking. How beautiful he is in his nakedness - his dick limp and harmlessly resting beside him. His source of joy from which I have drunk just hours ago (He does taste wonderful, Lunna!), which has brought me so much pleasure and fulfillment. How large it looked when I kneeled before him, how large and firm it felt in me when he spent his cum deep into me. It was just oozing down my leg when I got up - warm and wonderful. I am carrying him in me.

Just a moment ago, Angelika came into my study - I must have woken her up and she was on the way to the toilet. We must have been quite a sight - the sun-tanned young girl in nothing but white panties and old white-skinned me in my black thongs. We didn't speak - just looked at each other and smiled.

Now it's quiet in the house again. Midnight - I will go back into his arms.

The woman who had observed me in the spa and was a witness of my pleasures does not live too far from my place. Her name is Tanja and she is a nurse, 35 years old and divorced. I phoned her this morning to have lunch with her - I had promised last time we met. She is very funny and has a lot of stories to tell, she also likes skiing a lot and is a keen reader like me - her English is pretty good from a stay in the USA so she also reads novels in this language.

We were very close from the beginning, maybe because of what she had observed me do (23rd Nov.), so she has told me all about her life, and when I say all, I mean ALL, every little detail about her marriage and about her trying to find another guy and what she did with them. It is quite entertaining to listen to her, and quite sexy for what she tells - I think I could never be so open.

So my lunchtime was very nice and I invited her to my place one of these days. Then I went shopping; tonight Phillip will come and have dinner. I had to persuade Angelika that I want to prepare the meal.

Winter is here, and this picture - which I took from the homepage of Lech am Arlberg, a local ski resort - shows what it means to me: mountains, sunshine, snow, skiing. When I look out of my window, I can see mountains like this glimmer in the sun, and I feel like going and enjoying nature's beauty.

I had breakfast with Angelika - she is really a lovely girl. She says she grew up with her mother, who was never married to Phillip, but lately she was spending more time with him than with her. She also wants to be a journalist like her father, but has not got a regular job yet - she writes for several smaller papers and is paid by the text. It seems that she has inherited her father's sharp wit and his charm, and from what I see, her mother must have been very beautiful.

She is good company and does not behave like in a hotel - she is doing the washing up right now - so I have told her she can stay as long as she likes. Why not - the house is way too big for a single person anyway.

If my life was a film, you could now bring in the violins for the grand finale - a happy ending after HE has manly dispensed his cum into HER or at least promised to do so as soon as possible after getting married.

Unfortunately it is not - so there are more questions open than answered. For example:
- If we lived together, where would that be? I don't want to give up my house.
- Could we live together - after being independent so long?
- What if I become pregnant?

Lots of things to think about when I am alone. Phillip is away for the weekend - professionally. (I know what comes to your minds, dear friends and readers. But I don't want to think of that.)

Angelika will come tonight and stay for a few days. There is enough room and I better get used to her anyway.

Phillip arrived late, after a play he has to write about and an hour's drive through the foggy night. I had prepared some late night snacks, smoked salmon and others, and there was a bottle of Cremant d' Alsace waiting in the fridge. I was a little apprehensive - whenever I expect something to be particularly memorable, I know that there are so many things that can go wrong ...

But all went exceedingly well - and I was not disappointed, it was just heaven and pure bliss. Having both passed our AIDS tests, there is no reason anymore to gather cum in a condom, oh no - it could flow as freely as nature has meant it to flow - and it did. And in between, we ate my snacks and raised our glasses of sparkling wine - to ourselves and fulfilled desires.

When I woke up during the night, I had to smile - I was oozing cum and felt all sticky -- such a wonderfully warm feeling. And I gently lifted my counterpane to explore the male scent rising from the center of my universe.

I want Phillip.
I want Phillip happy.
I want him to be happy when he is with me.
I want him to love me when I am with him.
I want him to be fully himself, not restricted by me.
I want him alive, contented, free.

When he is with me, I want his full attention.
I want his body.
I want to see that he wants me.
I want the moment we share to belong to us, and only to us.

Our life is when we meet -
then nothing shall be between us,
and noone.

When we are not together -
it is his life and it is my life,
it is his body and it is my body.

I will love him as long as I feel
there is nothing between our minds
when we are together.

Phillip phoned me. He told me about his trip to Linz, and finally this: he had spent a night with a woman there with who he always slept when he was in Linz. It was some kind of a custom, or ritual. It was no relationship, just a thing of the body and the senses. Like a good meal in a restaurant, he said, and it had nothing to do with the two of us.

I must have sounded like a disgruntled wife, I hated myself for it. I could feel that Phillip was uneasy, too. On the other hand I obviously disappointed him. In a way he is right when he says that love should be something liberating, not restrictive. What irks me is that he is using my own arguments which until recently I thought were true. I know I have no right to think that Phillip is MINE. Still it hurts. I will see him tonight.

Joerg and Elsie felt that there was something heavy on my mind as we were sitting in the jacuzzi, so I told them. And I could not hold back some tears. So they made me sit between them and held me, and afterwards on their bed gave me a gentle full body massage, and I didn't mind their soothing fingers anywhere on me, but just relaxed and smiled.

Yesterday afternoon I went through town with Beatrix, my friend. It was so beautiful when it got dark and all the many lights went on - we had actually wanted to buy a few things but ended up walking and talking about ourselves and our lives - she told me of her family and I had to mention Phillip. Beatrix smiled and said I sounded as if I was finally ready for real committment after all these years. They had gone this way years ago.

I had no idea what the plans for the evening were, so I was surprised and so very pleased when the whole crowd had gathered at their place when we arrived: we were all the nine friends who had shared a house during the time of my studies. I had been with them for about two years. Three couples had formed later and eventually got married - Alex is gay and a part time actor, and Leon is a teacher like me, in a similar school somewhere in the densely populated flatlands of Switzerland.

At times, we were emotionally and sexually very close - and although this is long past, we are still extremely good friends. It's just a pity we don't meet so often nowadays, maybe once a year. As usual there was a lot of story telling last night, there were so many dear memories, and we ate some Swiss style cheese fondue like we did then.

Leon stayed at my friends' house for the night - but there was a change. In the past, he had usually done this in my bed. He was always such a passionate and inventive lover, and I loved his presence and his body. But this time I decided to sleep alone - wasn't I committed now, a woman in a relationship? So although I was wet and my body signalled "Contact!", my mind definitely said: "No way!!!"

Now I am alone in the flat again. In a few minutes, I will get dressed, pack my luggage and take the tram back to the station. In a few hours I will cross the border and be home one hour later. Tonight is jacuzzi night - I will buy a little present for Elsie and Joerg.

PS: An SMS from Phillip - his test has come through, too. So Friday might be the night of nights.

I'm in Zuerich, with my friends, sitting in bed with my laptop on my knees. All is quiet - they are already at work and have left long ago - I will meet them in the late afternoon again. All I wear are my black panties - I put them on again after I indulged my body after waking up - with the help of my little vibby.

It was such a lovely evening - walking through the town center - although the new Christmas lights are very cold und much less romantic than the old ones. But they were already as old as I, so it seems it was time to replace them. But they were part of my good memories, together with the town itself, the shops - although many things have changed.

When we were sitting around the table in the old flat, I felt years younger - although my friends, who are now a married couple, look older, too, than 15 years ago - more serious, bourgeois, parents to two budding teenage daughters. What did they know about their parents? What did they know about Aunty Alpina?

Not for example, that a long time ago, we grown-ups enjoyed some explorative, but yet quite enjoyable threesomes.

In two hours I'll be sitting on the train and traveling to Zuerich. A friend from my times as a student there phoned me last night and I decided on the spot to visit her for a couple of days. We have often done this before Christmas: looking at the shop windows at the Bahnhofstrasse and the Christmas lights, buying this and that, going out in the evenings, cooking a good meal for the friends. I have so many good memories from that time, and they always come up on such a day.

The lady next door will feed my cat, Phillip has travelled to Linz on business, so nothing is keeping me here for the moment.