Between finishing one thing and doing another, I like coming here to my blog, to sit down for a moment and think, and then write something about myself and my life. During my holidays I really missed having a secret diary somewhere, which is on the one hand read by some, and where on the other hand there are no repercussions about anything I write. I have often asked myself if a porn site is the right place for me to do so, I am a married woman after all. But then it's like with the beaches: I prefer a nude beach to any other because there I can be totally myself, while at the other beaches I spend ever so much time covering up parts of myself with are very important to me. So here I am, and I am going to stay until the day when I decide I am going to leave. And no-one can stop me doing either.

Meanwhile, life goes on. Tomorrow is Jacuzzi day - I will stay with my old customs and Phillip agrees to this. It's going to be girls' night as Joerg is away on some professional training. There will be something new on Saturday: I am invited to a colleague's birthday party and for the first time Phillip will come along, as people are dying to get to know my husband, and I cannor really refuse to comply. I just hope he will like it. All the rest is work - it's the end of the first semester soon, and the students will get their mid-year reports.

Yes, you are right, R., there is something of Maria in Rosie - her authority, that she is in command of the situation. If I do, I seem to fall for strong women only. It's not that I cannot develop tender feelings for the likes of Helene, for example, and thoroughly enjoy their touches and skin contact, but it's only strong women who have a grip on my heart and all the other essential inside organs. So it goes - we can usually understand the world at large - but hardly ever ourselves.

When you hear that a girl's name is Rosie, you might have quite pleasant expectations when it comes to meeting her: a girl like a flower, soft and fragrant maybe. I have met Rosie, our new head of language department a few times in two days, and I can tell you that you cannot be further from the truth. Our Rosie is a woman as sharp as a knife.

Imagine any scheming and bad-charactered female lead and seductress in any soap you have ever seen, and it's her: tall, thin, black-haired, smartly made-up, dark-eyed, red-lipped, immaculately dressed, thoroughly cool Rosie. Even in my best business clothes (which I had put on of course) I feel like a country bumpkin next to her. While our pricipal looks next to her like someone important.

She is about my age, and has a similar job experience; on the grapevine I have heard that the students rather fear than love her, though. She is not unfriendly or uninterested when I show her around and tell her how we are used to doing things here. She just likes making people feel pleased that she takes so much time for them and gives them her attention although there are so many more important things for her to do. She allows me to inform her. How wonderful for me to have the chance to inform her, of all people. She is, in other words, a condescending, calculating, supercilious xxxxx. She's our new Rosie.

And - just between you and me and nobody else - and I hate telling: she has a strange magic to sexually arouse me.

While I told you yesterday how happy I am, there is reason for sadness right in front of my house door: my neighbour Helene has been left by her husband Armin some days after Christmas, and now she is alone in the old flat with little Oliver. Gone are the dreams of their own house out in the countryside, and a good life together. I knew that the two of them had less and less in common, and that Armin was absent most of the time, saying that he was having a lot of work to do when he was in fact spending a considerable time bedding a much younger girl from his office. But I didn't think it would come to this so fast. I don't know yet what she is intending to do, if she wants to stay in the flat or if they will move to a place where she can find some work, which she was not doing lately. Why can nothing be sure and has to change all the time?

This is what I wish you with all my heart.

If the state of the world were like the state of my mind and my body, it would be paradise, and not such a mess like the news tell us. But nothing can last forever - not our holidays which will be replaced by school again tomorrow. Phillip took me to a wonderful place, a hotel he knows from last year's World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland - a hotel with so many stars that just counting them makes you giddy. I have never been to such a place - this must be the feeling when you are so rich that money does not count at all. But not only the room and the service were wonderful, also the snow, and skiing, and the weather, and sex with my Phillip - we were insatiable and never let go of each other for a minute.

Life cannot go on like this, of course, school will take up a lot of my energies again. My first job will be to help our dear new head of the language department settle down - I don't even know her and I just hope she is not such an ass like our principal. Phillip will be away on business for longer periods in the next few months, and when I say long, I mean for days, maybe for a week now and then. How could I survive a whole year with him so far away? Unimaginable.

So as Phillip is in the office to see after tomorrow's edition, I have been doing this and that: watering plants, stowing away Christmas things, readig the mail and seeing if there is everything for a meal I have planned tonight. And I have decided to write my first blog of the year. Now I am going to have a shower, get into a dry and semenless pair of panties and some casual clothes, and then I am going to plan tomrrow.

Phillip has gone to town - he is a late-buyer when it comes to presents and I also gave him a shopping list along for all we forgot so far. I am so glad we are not responsible for the food tomorrow and have this catering service provided by the Editor. We are getting close now, the reception tomorrow, and then we'll get ready for some holidays, just the two of us. It's going to be Switzerland this time, one of the fancy expensive places you have certainly heard of - a great five-star hotel that caters for all desires, and for those the hotel can't, Phillip certainly will.

Tonight he and I will have a quiet Christmas Eve - lighting the candles on our tree and making love in their light, and certainly going to mass at midnight again, although not through the snow this time. Last year I was wearing nothing under the warm winter coat as you may remember - let's see this time. All I can do now is to wish you a wonderful Christmas, too, may all your desires come true, and if all goes well, we'll meet again here in the new year.

Phillip is downstairs - hacking into his laptop; there are so many things he has to finish until we leave for 2 weeks on Wednesday. We just go skiing, nothing fancy as a honeymoon. I would have loved the Caribbeans, maybe another time. He looks so good in his concentration: he is in the red thongs I gave him some time ago, and the reflexes of the fire are dancing on his skin. I want him to take me later, I am so ready for him.

Helene was a great help in the afternoon, we are almost through. Tomorrow we'll have to make some more room in the living-room. We had a shower together when we finished and soaped each other, that was all. She left before Phillip came home. That's it for now. Have a good evenig, too.

"I've always fancied married women myself, so count yourself fancied!" a good friend wrote in his PM when he congratulated me on my marriage - and I am glad about this. Imagine being married meant for me to serve a liver in the custody of my husband and his family, with me appearing in the streets totally covered up and invisible to all ...

My Polterabend on Thursday was very funny, so I want to write a few lines about it, too. Elsie had invited some women I know, some of the choir we both sang in and also the two young mothers Kueken and Tanja - you certainly remember her if you have been around longer. She has a wonderful daughter and she has made a vow that her life would be better than her own.

We ate and drank a lot and had good fun, and then suddenly Elsie said there was now also an official ceremony for me as a future bride and married woman. She said it was important for me to keep an independent mind also in that state, and a few of my own memories and desires, and that's why she would give me a picture now which I should keep well hidden and look at now and then in private. And she pulled down a piece of cloth from a music stand, and there was a picture: a wonderful 20 by 30 centimeters of a male cock, big and hard, really enormous, unmistakably ....

"Aldo !!" one of the girls sighed, and when we all looked at her, she blushed all over. And we started to laugh and could not stop anymore. Because we knew the girl who had said it only as very quiet and reserved, and no-one would have thought for a minute she could know him. It was Aldo, actually a picture Elsie had asked from him, very nicely signed at the back by the owner of so much beauty and strength, and his good wishes ended with the words " ... and when you need a friend, you know where you can find one." And I promised the girls I would keep the picture as a talisman to always remember that there was also a life beyond marriage.

Today I have planned to do a lot of cleaning so that all is fine for Tuesday, and Helene has promised to come over and help me. And in the evening I'll decorate the Christmas tree with Phillip - we have decided to have one for the reception. So all is getting ready for our big day by and by.

I was in such a good mood this morning that I felt like entertaining you with some family lore about my Granny's wedding night (according to my mum). I held my head high today on the market, and thought everyone would see I was a married woman now.

Our legal wedding ceremony on Friday was somewhat more Alpinesque than Granny's, although maybe similar in some ways - it was very funny how Phillip had organised all. The evening before, he had brought home some 40ies style clothes for us to wear; he looked like Al Capone and I like one of his hussies, with a sharp little hat and very red lips, and a garterbelt under the narrow-taylored dress to keep the silk stockings up (no panties though).

When we walked to the Mayor's 20 minutes early, there was a colleague of Phillip's waiting with his girl-friend - in the same kind of clothes. They were going to be our witnesses (not someone from the street as Phillip had said). We were waiting outside the Mayor's office, sitting on a wooden bench with our friends, when Phillip suddenly took my hand and led me to a little side door. It was the toilet - the way you find it here in official buildings, a little ante-room with a mirror and a sink and two sidedoors from there into the ladies or gents. Phillip locked the ante-room and with a mischievous smile asked me to grip the sink while he lifted my skirt from behind. It took only seconds until I felt him inside me, and it didn't take long until he came - the preparation of all this must have made him so horny. It was not a moment too soon, as we heard our friends greet the Mayor and his secretary outside.

And so I stepped before the Mayor - freshly fucked and Phillip's cum oozing into my silk stockings, and so I said yes, I will. And I knew this was it now, and I had even tears when I wiped some of my lipstick from Phillip's mouth. When we came out, there was a beautiful white vintage Mercedes waiting, which took us to one of the best restaurants where we had a great meal with our friends, and all was just wonderful.

Oh my oh my - I am a married woman, with all men are supposed to expect from one in that state. I knew what my Phillip wanted from me when we came back from the party. I had to laugh a little because he could hardly wait, but he behaved. I changed into my nightdress in the bathroom, washing and powdering myself, and when I came to the bed, Phillip was already expecting me with one of his arms outstretched.

I had feared that he wanted to do it with the bedside lamp on, but I begged him to switch it off, and he complied. I smelled his breath when he approached me, as he had drunk some alcohol, but I let him kiss me as I do love him so much. I felt his hand reaching for my nighty and pull it up to my waist under the counterpane, but I let him do it, being his wife now.

But then he suddenly laughed and reached for the lamp again. What is that? he asked me and he pointed to my underwear which I had kept on. While I was blushing because I had not thought of it before, he wanted to pull my panties down, but I quickly went to the bathroom and took them off myself - and I washed and powdered again a little to not appear sweaty.

We turned off the light, and under the conterpane he pulled my nighty to my waist again. And while he was kissing me he moved up to me and over me. I felt his weight on me and couldn't move, and then there was the pain I had been told a bride had to feel. I just hoped it did not hurt him even more than me. Phillip was breathing harder and harder as he started moving up and down on me, and then he stopped and there was a moan coming from his lips, and he collapsed next to me. I felt wet between my legs and there was a slight burning, but we soon feel asleep after this tiresome party.

There was so much blood in my bed this morning, but Phillip said this was good and that I am a real woman now, his woman. And it makes me so proud. I am so glad I have saved myself up for him - for him alone.

This could have been a version of my story - when I come to think of it. And not the worst.