I was back in school today although I am still a little shaky and sweating at the slightest effort. And my voice is small and husky. But it's a busy time - the students have tests and presentations, and if I'm not in, my whole schedule goes awry.

Today is Santa Claus day, still quite an important moment in the lives of children, with a lot of local customs. Some students dressed up as Santa and his helpers - so that he looked like a Catholic bishop with a long white beard, while his helpers wore long black coats and white beards, too. Over their shoulders they carried sacks full of fruit, nuts and sweets. They came to all the classes and gave their presents away, not without reminding the students to be good in the coming year.

I got some fruit and chocolates, too, but they told me that if I kept making my tests so difficult, they would pack me into their sack next time and take me along to the Black Forest where I could darn Santa's socks and feed his donkey. My students were laughing their heads off as might be expected.

In the last week before Christmas I usually sing some Carols with those who like it. Then I take my guitar along, which I never do at other times, and sing "O come all ye faithful" and "The First Nowell" to them and accompany myself on the guitar - I seem to be quite a sight for them and they love singing along, although they can hardly stop giggling all through the lessons.

The first moment I set eyes on Maria I knew that she was her old self - like last summer when we went paragliding together. She looked very much in charge - although she got out of a taxi and not her chauffeur driven limousine and carried her suitcase to my front door herself.

We embraced and kissed - and then we were sitting together and having some Prosecco in the wonderful champagne glasses she brought along. She had so much to tell, and I attentively listened to her talking about her stay in Asia and people she met there, and how she had found herself and her old strenght again after weeks of travelling and meditation, until she knew that she could come back and find a new job.

When you remember how excited I usually am when Phillip comes home and how I expect him under the door and suck him off right then and there, I was surprised how totally calm I could be with her. We just lightly kissed now and then, when we were standing beside each other while cooking, or over the table while eating. When we were having some coffee before the fire and eating some sweets. Then we both went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, like a seasoned couple - we didn't have to hurry because we knew.

We knew that once in bed we would make love, tenderly but relentlessly, we would give each other what our bodies and minds had been waiting for so long. And again Maria told me that she hadn't made love since last time when we were together, and again this moved me so much that I had to cry a little. So my tears mixed with her juicies - and we were all tongues, and hands, and breasts, and thighs. After our last orgasm we fell asleep in each others arms, and whenever we woke up during the night, we assured each other that we were there, and real, and very much alive.

In the morning I was too dizzy to get up - but I mentioned this already.

Thanks, my dear friends, for asking and even worrying a little, but I wasn't able to blog in the past two days. When I wanted to get up on Sunday morning and have breakfast with Maria, I collapsed to the ground because I was so dizzy everything turned in my head. I had to keep in bed all day and could not lift my head or I felt nauseous. In the evening Maria left, and I slept all through the night, but on Monday it was even worse, so I had to phone my school I couldn't teach, and I am home today, too. I have never had anything like that before. Today it's a little better so I turned on the computer, but I still have the feeling that the letters are dancing before my eyes. So I better go back to bed now. More about the weekend when I feel better.

How embarrassing - I went to the mailbox at the end of my drive just wearing my panties, as I often do early in the morning - no-one has been able to see me there since Frau Schneider moved into the home, which was some time ago. No-one could see me! Because this morning when I turned round with my paper in my hands, there was a young woman cheerfully waving from the window next door and laughing all over her face. I must have been quite a sight for her. She must have moved in yesterday - I hadn't noticed anything. Actually I thought they wanted to renovate the flat first because the Schneiders had been there very long. I wonder who she is and if she is alone.

I have already been to town and done all my shopping. I bought a lot of salads and vegetables and two lovely pieces of beef for tonight and a lot of breakfast stuff for tomorrow, certainly more than we can eat. Maria will be busy with her flat till about 4 pm. and then travel over here. She has got no car with her so she will use public transport, which can take some time at the weekend. But all is ready for her: there is some wood for a fire, some wine and champagne, spiced olives and different cheeses.

And there is me. And I am more than ready. I'll blog again tomorrow - if I have the time and the strength ...

Already December - the month that will bring Phillip back and end with holidays somewhere in the south, just the two of us, all day and night, and no work. It's still very far away - so I needn't get overly excited, or it will last forever till he comes. Actually, I wanted to go to Zürich this weekend, to do some early Christmas shopping like last year at the same time, but because Maria comes to see me, I have put it off to next weekend. Beatrix does not mind.

I was pleasantly surprised at Jacuzzi last night: I didn't have to put on my bathing suit after all. Kueken undressed with us and didn't appear inhibited in any way - and we had quite a funny session as both she and Elsie told anecdotes about their school and what had happened to them recently. You could have thought Kueken was their daughter - they are so familiar with each other and Elsie does behave like a hen. Only what I saw in Joerg's eyes when he looked at her was not very fatherly.

So it was a pleasant evening, but in a way I was a little sad. Maybe I am too much of a traditionalist or nostalgic, but I miss our quietly erotic threesomes we used to have, Joerg, Elsie and me. It was always such a special atmosphere of relaxed togetherness, something valuable we three were sharing. It seems that we are beyond that - and although all things must pass, it makes me a little sad that it has to be this one.

I have to admit that the first thing I did this morning - still heated up by dreamless sleep - was masturbating in bed. It was still dark, and my mind was set on the weekend, on Maria coming here, on her lying in my arms right where I was lying now. And I could not hold my fingers till I had to call her name half in pain, half in lust.

In five days the moon will be full again - and you know this does not only make me a little tearful and melancholic, but also fills me with random desire. I just hope the red flag will not be raised before Monday. And tonight, during Jacuzzi, I don't want to be too horny - Kueken will be there (you notice that I have changed the spelling because on some keyboards the German umlaut seems to produce something like "K§!%%ken". So Kueken will be with us in the tub and I guess it's not going to be very erotic tonight - I'll even take my bathing suit along. So imagine me in yellow, my friends, and all covered up.

Angelika phoned - I had expected this with some anxiety because I didn't know what situation she would meet when coming back to Vienna. She said she at once went to the guy who had threatened to expose her, because he had demanded her services from the agency. When he wanted some free extras, she said this was against business policy, and she would have to report him. He seems to have uttered some threats, but didn't dare to be very aggressive.

The next day already she went to someone who occasionally asked for her services, too. She knew he was some important person in the political hierachy. To him she did grant some extra, and she told him of her problem.

It was so easy it was not even funny, Angelika said. The next day already she got a written apology and a confirmation from her would-be tormentor that he would never demand her services again. From Phillip, her father, she had heard that we would meet over Christmas and she was looking forward to it and she'd love to come to my house. And if I had any idea what to give Phillip as a present?

She lives in a world of her own. I'm glad she manages so well.

I don't usually do that, but I will today - as an example of what wonderful messages I often get from people who follow my life closely and who with their texts very much help me to see aspects of my life in a different light. That's why I'm posting part of a message I got yesterday, which I found very nice, and reassuring, and thoughtful. It makes me happy to have friends like that who sacrifice some of their precious free time to think of me and what I do:

"Once again I pondered on your dilemma with Sister Hyde. Although I have attempted to reassure you that your enjoyment of the activity in the swingers club is not an abberation of some sort I sense that within you are not entirely happy with what you have been doing and that you may feel you are crossing moral barriers that are ingrained in you. I think too that in somber reflection the men who have spent themselves on you are not the types you would normally be attracted to and certainly not to have sex with. This turns you off in the light of day. If that is the case then it would be best if you broke off the arrangement with Aldo and stopped going. Have fun with him privately if you so feel but put the club behind you.

There are several people who from time to time keep you sexually happy, Phillip, Aldo, Leon, Maria, The Editor, then there is Tanja who leads you into the odd escapade and Elsie and Joerg for light relief. A good circle of friends, not a lot but a delight to be near to, enjoy them.

Your weekend will be great fun
xxx"

Isn't that just overwhelming?

Wonderful news! I should have opened my e-mail programme last night, which I didn't because I was so tired after a long day, and I would have known before. Maria will be in Vorarlberg next weekend because she has some prospective buyers of her beautiful flat which is on sale. She will show it to them all day Saturday and asked me if I'd love her to stay with me for the weekend before she'd go back to Vienna. Maria in my house for a weekend! Maria in my bed! I very much hope this is her intention, too.

What will she be like? Last time I met her she was unhappy and weak - about to give up her executive job which meant so much to her. I held her in my arms long, but she was not her old self - not the Maria I admired, who excited and enthralled me. Now, after her trip to Asia she has a new top job - I hope so much I will feel what I felt with her when we went paragliding together in summer.

What has become certain, too, is that Phillip will come home over Christmas. I don't know the exact dates as he will have to do some work as well (and meet the Editor !!) but he will stay with me in my house over Christmas and afterwards he'd love to go on holiday with me - preferably somewhere in the south where it's warm. Angelika will come, too, on December 25th, and we will drive up to Phillip's parents and spend the evening with them. My memories of this place are a little mixed - last time we stayed over night and Phillip almost pounded me through the matress of his boyhood bed because it made him so horny to do me in this place, and at the same time he asked me to be quiet in order not to be heard, which I didn't do - so the family was not amused the next morning. But I am so glad he will come - there is so much we have to catch up with - it you understand what I mean ...

Ok, Gio, I tried it, too, and it said I was looking like Elisabeth Taylor (besides a lot of young indistinct American women unknown to me). Unfortunately the progamme doesn't say if I look like Elisabeth Taylor when she was young or now. Any Richard Burtons around, by any chance?