Dignitea's Blog

To appreciate anything in life, we have to fall in love with it. Two years ago on Thursday was when I had my stroke. I will celebrate it in some way. More than likely in just giving thanks for being still able to do, what I can. It is not always easy.

I listen to my body more, that is for sure, I probably still do more, than I should, but learning all the time. I have been sleeping better as well. My body and mind, has always have to be worked for me to sleep, if I have easy days, It is a waste of time trying to sleep.

I give myself little projects and have been lucky enough to have been helping someone else with a few around her very large garden, it is a truly beautiful place, even got its own little wood and a stream running through it. A very large greenhouse full of nice things. Flower beds with so many nice things and a very large vegetable patch and fruit trees and bushes.

It is one of her grand daughters, I am going to teach photography too. easy in a place like this, point a camera anywhere and you have something, my favourite thing in this place is the life.

I was getting told how fantastic her time had been at a Taylor Swift concert, how it was close too 4 hrs of just brilliance, when I said, not sure, I have ever heard a Taylor Swift song, as bad as her gran, I was told. At 15, I wondered who, I would have been listening too Blondie.

Now I have Blondie songs running through my head.

Cher sung about turning back time, but you know what, not sure I want too,, this future is looking bright.

A week of high's and low's for sure.

My hospital visit to the specialist never went great. More injections needed, every 2 months apart this time, I was a a bit deflated to be honest, for all I can see the difference , it still can be better. So a plan put in place and that is it.

I gave a talk on Thursday night to around 30 people, Been a little while since I have done anything like that, but it went very well , after my afternoon, it was just what I needed. I just get into a flow, bit like my writing on here.

I got to sit on the beach once it was done, sat past the sunset, well there was none, but sharing a fish supper and just talking. Simple but important things in life.

Friday, I gave the talk more of a thinking as I walked in the rain, full winter gear on, only thing missing was my beanie. I have since been asked to give another one in November. I never even got the chance to say no. One of the comments I got was, I just speak so plain and simple, no fancy words or anything like that. , but that is all I know, it is what I am.

If I was asked to stop being on here, would I, simple answer is yes in an instance. I can never hide this place , I have always been open about it, if I have been seeing someone, the ideal once might have been to meet someone again from here, but I was lucky enough to do that once, it changed my life and will always be grateful for that, lightening might have struck twice, but life does not work like that, The ideal is actually where ever it does happen and more important who with.

I have another photography apprentice, she is just in the process of picking out a camera and some lenses. Thankfully it will be a Canon system, makes things easier for me, that is for sure.

I am loving learning all about the new camera, it makes things so easy at times, you still have to see what is there, but when you can handhold so much more now, it is kind of freeing.


I got this one Friday night, harsh light, my first picture of a Roe Deer on the camera, was heading to shoot orchids when she rose from some long grass, thankfully had a long lens on.

Back to work tomorrow, not something that has ever bothered me. Weather wise , yesterday was the best of the whole break, but I have had a fantastic time. I got too sit on the comfy bit on the log on Friday, as I had done something good for someone.

I met someone the other day, who I took an instant dislike too, nothing will ever change that , before I ever speak to someone, I get a feeling about them.

I also have another photo apprentice, who might love taking pictures even more than me, watching them just take out the phone and xxxxxxxx something, made me smile, but they do have the large camera as well.

Why complicate something so simple.

The big day on Thursday go and see the specialist.


Why did you stop taking more shots like this, I was asked meaning the landscape type thing, good question, I am sure one day I will go back to it, but the smaller things are making me smile more just now, but then I do smile a lot now .

I was walking this morning and had to seriously think what day it was, eventually worked out it was Wednesday . We had a thunderstorm last night, lasted a while, which is unusual for us.

I got asked yesterday, why I have not stopped working, but I still like working, I like the process, I am going to cut my hours down when I hit 60. that is a start. One day I might just wake up and that could be me finished.

One funny thing with this holiday has been, that usually by now I starting to want to be back at work, but not this time so far.

I have been occupied in a lot of different ways. Later today, I have a dead tree to cut down in the garden where I cut the grass, been a while since, I have done any chainsaw work, but it is not that big.

Life has sure taken a good turn. The power of positivity and being thankful, a body that has adapted and a brain that just keeps asking questions. Being in the right place at the right time and for some reason waking one morning and thinking, time for the beach.

Choose your questions wisely and ask them.


I have been so lucky recently in what mother nature,has let me see. I was coming in the gate the other night and saw this bee, having camera in hand was lucky, more luck followed, when, I focused on it, moving from one flower to another, one picture from this set, has already been claimed and will be printed by the end of this week. I really liked this one.

It has been over a week since, I got the new camera and much could be said. sat yesterday and wondered where it , will all be in another 10yrs.

Quite a few micro adventures this week, been to the coast 3 times, been to the woods and yesterday, we climbed a hill, too the spot, I like to get butterflies and dragons. weather was all over the place, when we had to leave, sun had just came out and it stayed out for most of the day.

Some things, just feel so right.

I got to mow a lawn yesterday evening, I miss not having grass in the garden, I like to cut nice stripes in the grass, then edged the edges, the garden is nicely laid out and had a lot more insect life than mine. The payment was worth it too.

I Have another week off, going to change my holidaying next year, really fell into a habit each year. same old same old.

I am truly moving on with life now, six months or so, since I started , baby steps at first, like my year plan, I use to do, But with a big step as well, this big step is the hard one, early days, but we will see.

Someone said to me, yesterday, I was like an onion, but the layers seem never ending.

I will leave it there for now, will see how this all goes, will report back at some point.

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Macro photography comes in many forms, bit like life. I like the single image, some stack many pictures to get there results, I will try it, eventually for I am able to do it now . Damsels and like yesterday dragonflies, I can spend hours, just watching them. This one joined us on a bench, next thing, I am kneeling in a puddle, to get to its level.

I think as i write this we are close to 30hrs of non stop rain, never stopped me from heading to the beach this morning, only thing was, never took one picture, but I did have a very nice doughnut. But i had a very nice time.

I will see in the morning, what the weather is like before heading anywhere, I fancy going and seeing, if there is many coastal plants in flower, not really something, I have done before, weather is better looking better on Saturday, but I have that day sorted.

I learned where I went wrong before and will put that right the next time. Simple really,, you can't do that in manual, it came to me , in one of those moments, like you can not use the flash on electric shutter, but apart from the camera stuff, I learned a whole lot more today.

I cleaned out my sock drawer today, took 22 pairs out and put them in another container, that contains, yes, even more socks, will replace these socks with a few more pairs, yes I will, I do have a problem, but explaining it, gave someone a laugh, you have to be able to laugh at yourself.


Some lovely colour in the garden. will be like this for months now, but I will still plant more plants. looks good and gives me nice subjects to view and see, what, I can get.

Been learning a lot the last few days. One thing since my stroke I find harder is to store new information, once it was see it once and it was there forever, now It kind of gets lost somewhere. Frustrating but living and adapting with it.

I left work on Monday night and for the first time in donkey years, I felt relief , I have looked forward to these 2 weeks holiday more, than any holiday in forever. Not even sure, why I was like that and for once, no self thinking about it.

I usually take a few days to go into holiday mode, but not this time.

I went to the coast yesterday morning, each of these micro adventures taking the new camera, showing it the places, that mean so much too me, one thing I have noticed, I never feel lonely in these moments. But I seldom feel lonely anymore, plus point there.

I sat on a log, driftwood on the beach, this one has been here for ages, to be told, I was sitting in someone's exact spot, that she sits on, then was told, to just scoot along a little lol.
She asked me, why I sat there and told her, it is the little dip, it is just right, she said, it was created by all the times she sat there, which was 4 times a week, same time as well or near enough it.

In the end, we sat for close to 2hrs, ended with her taking a selfie of us, will give her daughters something talk about, she showed me her message with it,, met a very interesting man.

In the afternoon, I watched the cycling, tried to get a picture of a bee in the garden for world bee day, failed, as such,but decided I need too plant more plants for them as I only saw 4, I put up a few fence posts for hanging baskets to go on.

Finished the day going through all the pictures I had taken, over 600, this camera can take 40 pictures in a second, I was playing with that on some birds, not sure I will use that again much, but it has its uses.


From a log. Life is a funny old thing, you just never know, where it is going to lead.

Woke yesterday morning, just before 4am, looked out the window and saw fog, mad dash to get the new camera ready, through a few lenses into a bag and out the door.

I was only going out for hour, it turned into 4hrs, it was the start of another learning curve, for all most of the buttons are the same new tech is different from 10yr old, but I love to learn, each day, I learn something, it might never be needed again, but it is stored on memory bank.

Walking by a house, someone was clearly having a good start to her day. The noise drifting through the open window. Not as noisy as Julie was, but up their. I just smiled as I walked on, thinking of Julie and how once, we got asked to quieten down as we were keeping the rooms around us from sleeping and Julie laughing her head of at that, in the morning, we got asked by the manager never to use there hotel again.

The sexual adventures we had to keep my blogs in words for years. She just loved to have fun, we both did, one thing there was never any arguments about. We never really argued a lot, she just had her little incidents and I gave her time to cool off. You got to learn how long it would take.

IN the fields as Julie drifts from my mind, woken from the thoughts, by a Curlew, its call drifting througn the fog, standing listening, enjoying.

I stood on my road, tradition, is that is where first adventures with new camera gear starts and this is going to be a fantastic one, one that is years long, one that will teach me things and let me see things. One that will make the bad days just feel better and the best of all, when you looking through that viewfinder , that time of all is forgotten, but the scene before you. This is what photography is for me, getting a picture is second, maybe even third.

I started to make new memories yesterday.


This is the first picture from the camera, first click of the shutter, first new memory and the start of one great adventure, with a lot of ideas.

The long drawn out saga of getting a new camera is over. Important decisions take time for me, I am in a fortunate position in that I could have bought any camera I wanted It was always going to be a Canon and when I opened the box and held her for the first time, it was just right, that was my biggest worry. The difference in weight is noticeable

In the end, I went for the Canon R6 Markii , for me it just ticks what I do. I looked at the R5 and maybe that will be my retirement gift to me in a few years. The R3 and R7 especially the R7, for wildlife it might have been the better way to go, but I am an all rounder.

I charged the battery up last night, will set it all up today and if time permits, first pictures will be taken.

What next is the choice of buying my first RF lens , now I will not bore you all with that one..

Tuesday, I got the last injection and they seem happy with the progress, I have to see a specialist in a few weeks and get some tests done and see from there. I know I have seen a big difference.

to keep pollen from possibly getting into my eye, I wore an eye patch, then promptly lost it in the woods a day later.

I had a nice win on the lottery, like always when the amount is over £100, I give 10% to charity, mainly to dog charities and two got half of my 10% this time. That goes back to my gambling days, when, I started to do this, when I am not here my fortune goes to them as well, having no one else to leave anything too.

Looking outside, it looks like rain might be heading this way, after a week of nice weather, yesterday was maybe as high as 23C, warm for us. I worked most of the day in it and looking back at the end of the day and seeing results.

I missed the Aurora on Friday night, had burnt my body out, lifted and relayed a load of slabs and a lesson learned. I have been lucky enough to have seen it 3 times. First time, me and Julie was holidaying far up north and remember her saying that sky is weird, next minute we were out there both amazed at what we were seeing, Julie got so turned on by it and well you can guess what happened next.

I got asked recently if I loved her and as the years have passed, I see love just comes in many forms and for all she made my life hell, yes, there was love, I use to try and tell myself that I never was in love with her, I see it for what it was, a failed attempt at masking the pain, once I accepted, strangely it made things clearer.

You have to make peace with yourself.

So 5 days to work till holidays, 4 this week and Monday the next. I am really looking forward to it.


Something a little different, this week, the movement of the camera is intentional , to give a kind of painterly picture, like I have said before, I wish I could draw and paint a picture, but useless, is not even close, so an attempt with the camera.