Digoree's Blog - page 37

Ooookay, I just like posting snippits of my story because, well, deep down inside I'm a creative writing whore. Sad, I know. In any case, this is just another piece from Age of the Sun, a scene between Jelmari Tidwell and Ildi Marie. Jelmari's basically the captain of a clean up crew for the rebellion and Ildi was part of another squad known as the Roughneks, that were effectively the marines for the rebellion. Wellies, Ildi has troubles following orders and got sent to this clean up crew to put her in a sort of 'this'll teach yah or kill yah,' situation. She failed. =/ Bummer.

She's also one ugly sum-bitch, which I find adorable because a boy earlier in the story mentions that only ugly girls make great fighters, which is totally untrue because when Sissy was in taekwondo she could totally kick ass.

~~~
Age of the Sun

He spotted her sword first, massive thing that it was, and ran to her, brushing through the sea of bodies to get to her. She was flat on her back, eyes clenched close and pallid face in a mask of pain as she gasped and heaved for air, chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. Her hands were sitting aimlessly on a huge tear in her shoulder, one that had been wrenched right down into her chest and blood was pooling around her on the ground. Her sword was at her side, resting against her hip.

Jelmari knelt beside the woman, staring helplessly at the gash in her shoulder. It was massive and what was more incredible was the fact she had even lived this long. Something this damaging usually took a person right out, it would have taken him right out at least. The woman opened her eyes, a wild spark in them as she saw them and tensed, looking ready to fight again, before falling back and returning to her shallow gasps. Her face pinched up even more, looking uglier than usual.

“I…messed…up.”

“No, Ildi,” he murmured, fumbling with his hands, wanting to sooth her, embrace her, but afraid of jarring her and making it worse. “No, you did what you thought was best, it’s fine.”

“I…never listen…” she flinched and suddenly she was tearing up, the woman gritting her teeth as her eyes became bright. She turned her face away from him, hissing between her teeth as she took a deep breath. “That’s why…they moved me…by the stars!” she flinched and bit down on a sob. Jelmari recoiled away from her, horrified at seeing the woman like this, weak and truly helpless, something she had never before been.

“No, no you’re going to be fine, Ildi. We’ll get a healer to you and you’ll be fine.”

“Don’t lie to me!” she spat, tears trailing down her cheeks. “I’m not…a child.”

“No, no I promise,” he bit down on his lower lip. “You’ve already lasted this long I’m sure—”

“Herbs…from Barret,” the warrior shook her head, jarring the wound again and she let out a frustrated cry, slamming a bloody fist onto the floor. “Damnit!”

Jelmari cringed back from her, staring down at the ground, unable to bare the sight. He hadn’t put up with battle much at all in his time with the rebellion. He didn’t mind death, not really, but the process of dying was another situation altogether. He hesitated a moment, then xxxxxx his gaze to the woman once more, reaching out and touching the side of her face gently. She whimpered and closed her eyes, her head back on the wall again and one of her hands tried to come up and wipe at her tears, but fell uselessly to her side again, resting on Vation. Jelmari wiped her tears away from her, the woman gasping weakly. She looked up at him again then, frightened.

“Did you ever…think…think I was…” she recoiled slightly, biting down on her lower lip firmly enough to draw blood. Jelmari learned forward, trying to guide her to look at him again but she shook her head, focusing her attention on the sword at her side instead of him.

“Think you were what, Ildi?”

“Take Vation,” she growled, gesturing to the sword. “I want a warrior…to have him.”

“Think you were what, Ildi?” he hissed, leaning closer, feeling distressed. He wanted to sooth her, anything. She was a stupid woman, a brave woman, but damn he couldn’t let her die like everyone else, so uselessly. He didn’t want her uncomforted, slipping away to the stars without the answers to questions that worried her even on the brink of death.

“Promise me. A warrior.”

“I promise, Ildi.”

Her features softened and she smiled weakly, tears trailing down her cheeks freely now and she let out a tiny cry of relief, slumping back against the wall and letting her anguish go. The tears made clean marks on her face, dripping away the blood and grime and he realized what a vivid shade of blue her eyes were. Her body relaxed completely, her head tilting back some as she reached out and caught his hand, holding it almost reverently. It was the softest she had probably ever been as she clutched it like a young girl would a love-letter.

“I promise, Ildi. Now did I ever think you were what?”

“Beautiful.”

Jelmari frowned, watched as the woman’s eyes turned blank suddenly, that tiny, almost wistful smile falling away from her lips.

I was planning to take summer courses for multiple reasons (and that is IF I even stay at this college after next semester). One reason was because I want to finish my Bachelors Degree and figure out what the fuck I really want to do with my life. Another reason is I get veterans insurance once a month and if I take classes in the summer I can get the same amount of money I am now for less credits (I dunno, it's the government, but the paycheck is nice and I want to enjoy it before Obama decides the homeless person down the street deserves my education money more than I do).

In any case, the real catch is it doesn't sound like there's going to be many interesting courses next semester. My Child Psyche teacher says there's generally a max of three to four psyche classes and they're all sounding like classes I've already taken, and I don't desire a redo. I also don't want to really waste my money on classes that are..well...frivolous and worthless to me. =/

So here's the catch. I can maybe look into some pointless classes if they have any, get an apartment here in town and continue my time here in St. Augustine through the summer, or I can go home, scrounge up a job there and forgo the nice government paycheck.

Ew. Decisions. Not that I even know if I want to be here after next semester. It all relies entirely on the experience. If the roommate is good, sure. If the classes are fantastic and the roomie sucks, who knows? It's a precarious situation to be in. All I REALLY want to do right now is go home and write, silly as that sounds. I want to go to the college, sit in a classroom and write until my book is finished, because I've found I do most of my best writing in an educational environment (weird).

I also just want the stupid break to get started. I'm ready to go home for the holidays, be around my dad, be back where I feel safe and comfortable (which I now know means I will never be a self-actualizing human being, because I would rather feel safe than explore new settings and experiences and grow from them). And it's not that I DON'T want to travel, of course I do. I want to go to England one day and travel Europe and see and the sights, but in the end I think I also want to wander to my white beaches and the pretty sunsets and the town houses and people I know and love. I'm not much of a nomad.

Oh golly gee that reminds me, I need to finish my child psyche paper at the very least. I've got two pages done but I haven't gotten into the scientific part yet, nor have I done any 'research' for it. I wonder if we have to site information in our sources. I hope not, I always sucked at that. Have you ever noticed how strange it is that in high school and college they get you all ready for writing these massive difficult papers that require all these sources and mla documentations and etc? And then the funny part is that out of 6 classes, only one teacher is making you write a paper, and it's APA documentation, not MLA? Muther fucker.

I have NO clue how to do APA documentation, but my old college had a website dedicated to this stuff, so I'll check that out later.

Cheery fun note: my hair is curly =D well...wavy... but oodles of wavy =D And tonight I get to sit my happy ass in a hopefully empty student center and write. That does sound like fun to Digoree. Of course, sleep will be disturbed tonight, because the roomie doesn't have class tomorrow, so she'll be in around oh.. 1 or so and wake me up and keep me up. But it's okay! Like I said, my grades aren't important to her, lucky broad. I gotta find a way to jam the door so she can't get in. Wouldn't that be funny? =3

I'm completely exhausted. Completely, to the point I was beginning to get sick today I couldn't even muster the energy the be healthy. My head was throbbing and the slightest bit of light made want to just throw up and die. Why was I so tired? For the usual reason. =/

I just can't comprehend being so inconsiderate. But I'm too tired to really even complain about it, because it's all just the same old boring news and I can't necessarily muster hate for her, just a drab desire that she never walk into the room again, for whatever reason that may be. I'm just tired of her existing. How sad.

I'm excited about this Friday, for multiple reasons. One is that I have my child psyche paper due, along with my group presentation for child psyche due. Originally I was a little frustrated, because it seemed I was the only one working on it, but things have looked up. One girl at least has provided a lot of information and says she has about 6-7 minutes of things to talk about, which is great, because if I can find 7 minutes of discussion time that means the other girl only needs to do about six and we'll have our 20 minutes reached and be finished. I'm also excited just because it'll be over. I almost don't care about the grade, I just want it finished.

I also get to go spend the night with one of my dearest friends, Jess. I can't begin to describe how much I look forward to being able to hang out with her again. She has her moments where she can rub me wrong, but everyone does in general. All in all though she's been one of my closest friends, and as I've said before one of the few that I see keeping on contact with for the remainder of my years.

Tomorrow I have a test in Psyche of Personality and I have no idea how that's going to go, not really. I haven't done much studying and to be completely honest this test sort of just sprang up on me and said 'surprise!' I wasn't really ready for it and most of the people in the class weren't either. But I figure I've made a 'C' on one, an 'A' on the other, if I can pull a 'C' I'll be doing fine, especially for the final.

I think right now I'm going to get a good night's sleep. After all, the roomie has class tomorrow and she's gone to bed, because she wouldn't dare ruin her own sleep on the night before class. It's okay if her roomie doesn't get sleep though, but who really cares about Digoree's grades?

So my birthday visit to home has been very nice and I've enjoyed all of it, every last moment. I'm glad to, at the least, be away from the roomie, but I realize how very much I miss home. Not just HOME, even though I have greatly missed it, but just the area I lived in. I miss the beaches and I miss the sunset and I miss knowing where everything was and liking where everything was.

What it all ends up coming down to is, I really don't want to go back to Flagler. =/ Mom mentioned me not going next semester and it was tempting, I haven't paid yet, but I don't know if my credits would transfer to a new college, and would it be good for me? I'm not necessarily UN-happy at Flagler, I know a lot of my displeasure comes from a lousy roommate, next semester I'm getting a new one. Maybe I'll really like her, that might make the situation wonderful and better.

But I miss this place so much, I absolutely do not want to go back to Flagler. =/ This sucks. I never thought I would miss Destin, let alone not care for St. Augustine.

I dunno, this is all confusing.

*Does a booty dance because all 19 year olds can booty dance..she thinks*

I'm eager to just pack up and go home, but sadly I have child Psyche today and our project is due NEXT Friday, and guess who's been the only on working on it out of the group? Yeah, me. I tell them what I need, they say sure sure, I send one chick the powerpoint so she can even pick what she wants to research, don't hear back from her. SO! I'm not worried. What'll happen is I'LL write the summary of who did what and put my name down for everything and say all they did is sit and smile and read off the powerpoint. Done and done. I just have a feeling this 20 minute presentation wont be very good if I'm the only one putting any work into it. Oh well. Their grade. If I bomb the class I'll just take developmental psyche with another teacher and be just as content.

All I really have to do now is go to class , pack up the last of my things and then GO. I got a five hour drive but I've been known to drop it down to four *pleased with self*

In any case. Give me much loving!!

She's invited me to stay with her as long as I'd like *dreamy smile* My angel, the girl of my dreams, why the FUCK does she have to have a boyfriend?

On the bright side, I'm welcome to be with her as long as I desire in December, and she's thinking maybe she'll ride home with me too, for that long 7 hour drive.

*Giddy*

Me and her, alone in her apartment, doing girl stuff like we used to and giggling and going off on tangents about stories and our comic. And then a 7 hour drive with us singing along to music and acting out things.

It's like heaven.

I got the schedule I pretty much wanted for next semester =) Registration was today and I was up by 7 am to be one of the first of the juniors to get the pick. I got all the four classes but I had to get a signature for my fifth, but it's all said and done.

So basically on Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'm taking Social Psychology. Then Tuesday and Thursday I'm taking Intro to Poetry Writing, Intro to Short Story Writing, Positive Psychology and Experimental Psychology.

I'm very happy because this will give me the time I need to actually have a job. Once next semester starts I'm ROI-ing to be a Decorator's Apprentice, and if I can't have that at my current store I'll go to another store. Because I'm a brat and generally I force things to be my way. That can't be healthy =/

In any case! I'm VERY thrilled about next semester!

So I'm not going to be quiet anymore. It hit me last night when I was jarred from my slumber at 5 o'clock in the morning and kept awake for the rest of the night by her stomping around, and then snoring. She snores. It's amazing. Why is it that I ended up with the most annoying loathed roommate possible that also snores? I can't believe it.

I was pissed. I mean, this is the umpteenth time she has woken me up at some random hour in the morning and kept me awake, ruined my sleep and therefore attempted to muddle with my grades. And I'm sorry, when you mess with my school work it gets personal.

So this morning when my alarm went off I let it keep going off until the music was so loud (it gets louder in increments from very quiet to omg loud), she stopped snoring and woke up. I took my time turning it off because I personally enjoy the song 'Word Up,' and then went to the bathroom, turning on the light BEFORE I closed to the door (because the light does irritate the poor dear while she's sleeping). I opened my drawer when changing clothes and closed it as damn well loud as I pleased, the stomped to my desk and put on my combat boots and then commenced to actually 'click' on my laptop as she's so fond of doing, rather than tap with the guider-thinger.

I know this isn't the way to do things. I know that playing the revenge game just makes things worse,but I have three and a half weeks left with this bitch and I'm damned tired of tip-toeing at 10 o'clock in the morning because her lazy ass doesn't want to get out of bed because she was up until 5 am and then had to wake ME up. So I'm just going to do what she does, minus the staying out late.

Seriously, I have no idea what there is to do until 5 am on a Sunday (well, now Monday). I'm just frustrated. And rightfully so I think.

But in better news I've gotten quite a bit of school work done. I started the powerpoint for my computer class and my child psyche class, even though I have no idea what to really put in the child psyche project. I also started my paper for child psyche. Today I'm going to go to Starbucks and read those three chapters I need for my substance abuse test tomorrow, and then on Wednesday I'll do my take home test for substance abuse so I don't fall horrifically behind.

Besides that there's not much else for me to do which is damn fine by me. I'm just cheerfully counting down until Friday when I can get the fuck out of here.

On the 22nd I'm visiting a friend of mine, Jess, in Gainseville. She's going through hell because she got and even worse deal than me, she has to put up with our arch nemesis, Ariel (Dummy: Who the fuck names their kid Ariel?). Ariel was a girl who both of us loved very dearly but apparently this chick had some sort of mental disorder, because she's a pathological liar and maker of drama.
This chick accused me of molesting her after we had tried experimenting together because goddess forbid anyone thought she was a *whispers* lesbian, and convinced Jess that her mother hated her and thought she was a burden of a child. She had us constantly thinking we were doing something wrong in the friendship and I can't count how many times I would tap this girl and she would be in tremendous pain for the rest of the day. An absolute drama queen, my hatred for her runs deeper than my hatred for my roommate.

So sadly, my friend Jess ended up going to college with her, which is in and of itself an interesting story. Ariel had spent weeks complaining about how Jess was insisting she go to UF with her, insisting that they room together and Ariel just couldn't take it. She couldn't stand how 'needy' Jess was. Then interesting enough when I talked one on one with Jess she mentioned how very scared she was of Ariel going to UF with her, because she didn't want to deal with that drama anymore. Well, Ariel and Jess both got accepted to UF. Then more funnies: Ariel, who did NOT want to room with Jess at ALL, asks Jess if she wants to room together.

Uh-huh, this bitch is crazy.

Anyway, they had the hardest falling out I've ever seen and I read the e-mail Ariel sent Jess and the meanness of this girl knows no bounds. Jess finally broke it off entirely with Ariel, which is damn good for her, but Ariel still creates drama. She's told all her friends the usual lies, such as how Jess is abusive and abrasive and a mean, cold bitch (yeah yeah, sounds like me, oh yeah, she's said the same thing about me too! That, AND I'm an alcoholic). So Ariel's cronies are apparently giving Jess hell and she's just having a bitch of a time balancing school and the drama that Ariel brings with her.

Well, I'm goanna go visit Jess that Saturday, hang out with her, and then take her to St. Augustine because she's never been here, maybe take her on a ghost tour. I might even buy her a medal because anyone that can put up with Ariel as much as she does deserves one.

I just don't comprehend people's needs to harm others, I mean truly try to harm others. Jess is probably the sweetest girls I have ever known and a fantastic writer. Her friendship is one of the most dear to me and one of the few I can see lasting into my old age. I don't comprehend Ariel and that bugs me. I wish I could know what's going on in her head, what fucked her up, what made her the wretched person she is today. What actually compels you to look your supposed best friend in the eye and say: "Your mother told me you were just being a bitch." And say it with such conviction it's plausible?

I just don't understand. I'm lucky in the fact my memories of her have dwindled the most wretched things she did to me and the mass of drama she created at the end of our senior year at Collegiate. I can't wait until she's barely even a memory.

Gawd, people are infuriating! >.<

I woke up and the It is still alive. *Heavy sigh* I guess there's not much to be done about it, but I'm still pretty bummed out. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself today. I'm going to go insane if I have to sit around and listen to her exist. I mean, I never thought I would actually hate having to hear another person be alive but it's driving me crazy.

I could technically try to get out of my housing contract now, since I've found out I am actually a junior in college and not a freshman like I signed up for (which is fine by me). The catch is I don't know if they would really let me and I really don't think I could afford it right off the bat. It's a bummer but, eh...

Now it's plotting for my day. I mean, if I stay here, I'm just goanna lose it.

I have some writing I could get done still. 'Age of the Sun' is up to 126,878 words and about 226 pages. I outlined the entire story a few days ago because I realized there were so many subplots going on I was forgetting to write some of those subplots out and the last thing I want is for them to just die and have people (worst of all) notice. So I realize I'm about halfway there, but the story is really kicking along now, which is great.

I also have some school work I should probably get done. On the 21st of this month I have a paper and a powerpoint project due. Paper I can work on, powerpoint not so much because it's a group thing and my group well...we don't contact each other. I have no idea what they're looking for, we're incredibly unorganized, and I hate group work all together.

I also have another group powerpoint due at the beginning of December and none of us even know what the topic's on. We know we have to take a career that we all plan to share and do a powerpoint on how technology will play into it (with sources, ffs). I could just do it all by myself, but I always hated the idea of doing a project and letting others take all the credit for it.

Grr... I also have a book that needs to be read within the next few weeks, and a take home test that's due next thursday, not mentioning the actual in-class test on tuesday.

Hrm..

You know what, I'm REALLY ready for next weekend when I go home, for my birthday.

My birthday, which is this upcoming Friday =)



In case anyone's interested xD

Did NOT fucking go home for the weekend. I don't know where the fuck she went, but apparently, it wasn't home for the weekend, because she's back. So MY weekend has been effectively ruined.