Well, I told you I'd get pictures of my little titty man, and here they are:









In other news, the rude customer from last night that upset me so much ordered some trays, one of which being a brownie bite that we do. Well, the decorator left early today and either I did it, or hoped that the decorator tomorrow would have time to do that and tons of other things before 7 tomorrow. I wasn't a happy camper, especially since my boss and I had a pissing contest with each other earlier too (I don't wanna get into it ._. I just fucking need a new job). Anyway. I took out my aggression and made the middle of the platter look like a shoddily done 'fuck you.' He probably won't notice, but I showed mom and she thought it was cute.

Which means it's gotta be, but her feelings toward the company we work for have been growing rather colder as well ever since it stressed her out so much she got the shingles. Everytime she says 'I really don't care if the work gets done or not. What are they goanna do? Fire me?', I feel this amazing burst of pride =,)

Rumble's a boob dog. I was sitting on the couch petting him today and he crawls forward and just starts sniffling and snuffling between my tits and pressing his face into them. Cute, but weird xD

I'll see if I can't catch him in the act with my camera sometime.

That doesn't constitute as animal porn does it? o_0

So a while back I had that really frustrated blog about my virginity, mostly due to an accumulation of things, but the biggest being from that teacher I cared dearly about. It boils down to the fact that during that night we'd been discussing my job troubles, and he mentioned cam-whoring. Well, I've tried that before, and while the money really wasn't bad, I wasn't enjoying it THAT much. It just wasn't my thing, and I disliked being JUST a body. I'm just not cut out for it. So I mentioned that to him, and we'd gotten into the argument of 'if you got it, flaunt it.' And how I should be very thankful for my assets and how if HE had such features that he could just hypnotize women, he'd love that. To which I say, after so many years of just these features and having people stare only at these features, it gets dull. No one talks to YOU, they talk to your body.

It eventually turned into the debate about saving oneself for marriage, and amidst all these piling arguments, he states: People who wait for marriage to have sex are retarded. Which, means he's calling me retarded. And he just keeps throwing out all these reasons why I shouldn't wait for marriage, logical reasons indeed, and I told him that he was right. He thought I was being sarcastic and asked such, and I told him no, they were very valid, right reasons why I shouldn't wait. And he replied with '/smug'

They were valid reasons. Good, right reasons, in a philosophical sense. But it doesn't change anything. I still plan to hold on, at least until I'm in a very committed relationship with marriage in sight.

Since then we haven't spoken, and to be honest, it's been a good chance to really re-evaluate my life and what I want from it. I know I want to wait until I'm married or close, I don't particularly want to be in a very serious relationship until I have my PhD and I'm established in my career. Not that I don't EVER want to date, but I don't really think I want to get TOO serious. I want to make sure I have the career I like, that's suited for me, and be able to make sure that when I DO start a relationship, I'll be well grounded and should kids come of it, I can give them everything they want and need without any struggle financially.

On the 4th of July, he sent me a video from youtube, a muppets tribute to the holiday, and he wished me a happy 4th. I replied in kind, and nothing more. Unusual for me, since usually I write him pages upon pages worth of letter. And then yesterday I got another video from him, a batman video, and I sent him one of my favorites: Batman vs. Predator (good movie!) Anyway, I get a letter back where he states it was an awesome video, have I seen such and such, and then:

"I'm sorry I have been such a horrid friend this summer. I really would like to get together with you sometime before school starts again but I will completely understand if you're like, "Fuck you, jerk." I did have my reasons for it, which I'll tell you if you press me or get me drunk.

Anyways, I hope you have been having fun and enjoying life, and I hope I haven't been enough of a shit-ass that you kick me to the curb. "

It's an apology, I think. But honestly, just reading it drains me emotionally. He was such a big part of my life for fucking eight years. Eight years I was head over heels for this man, worshiped the ground he walked on, adored everything about him and adored the way he saw me. I felt like a fucking goddess every time he complimented me, be it on my personality or my body. But when it ALL became my body, and after that argument where he made me feel like complete shit, I dunno. I don't want to lose someone like him, and maybe it's just this constant idea I have of him, that childhood, girlish memory I still hold, where he finally admits what a wonderful girl I am, and he stops smoking weed, and we're these two writer bouncing off ideas and critiquing each others stuff, living this awesome, fucking wedded life together and TRULY happy because I showed him it was all possible.

But Christ, since my senior year of college its been a LOT of pain and a lot of hurt and this bitter, cold part of me just wants to turn my back for good and continue on this set path that maybe never will involve another the way I let myself become involved with him. He had my childhood and my girlhood and I all feels so tarnished now.

And I keep thinking, it's been 8 years, maybe its time he knows everything. Maybe I should tell him how greatly I've cared for him, what a big influence in my life he was, and how exactly and why exactly everything's been hurting. But I dread exposing everything I've been keeping very carefully and shyly hidden, and having them mocked. I don't want to be rejected, even now.

Christ, I don't know...

What happened with Filo. Mom brought it up at work and a coworker mentioned that their dog had the same thing happen, because it turns out the dog had ingested some human medicine. They'd dropped a pill, the dog got to it first, and a few hours later it just went crazy.

It sounds a lot like Filo. I told Ash about it and her first response was: Wow, bad LSD trip.

It would make more sense. Mom and dad have a LOT of drugs and sometimes do drop them, and I just can't imagine roundworm medication affecting a dog like THAT.

She's feeling better now though. She snuggles and when I came home she was in the backyard playing with Rumble again.

So I got pulled over yesterday. Dad and I were driving along toward home after taking Rumble to the vet, and I hit a bridge that I know cops usually hang out at the end of. Having a bright red sports car, I rarely go over 5 mph over the speed limit. So I'm driving 50 in a 45 and I drop to 47, and sure enough I see a cop at the end of the bridge, so by the time I hit him I'm going 45. So dad and I drive on past and suddenly this guy's lights go on. And I'm just like 'what the hell?! I'm going the speed limit!!' and Dad says just to relax and pull on over. So I pull over into a walk-in clinic and sure enough the cop pulls up behind me. He gets out and I'm grumbling as I pull out my driver's license.

Cop: You got an emergency?

Me: No sir. How fast was I going?

Cop: Well I caught you going 63.

BULL SHIT! See, here's the thing: I KNOW I was going 47, and I KNOW my speedometer's right because I always time it with my gps and I go the same speed it says I'm going. Damnit! So I inform him: Sir, my speedometer says I was only going 47.

Cop: Well I caught you going 63 and then you dropped to 55, but I'm not goanna ticket you.

Oh what the fuck ever! If I was REALLY going that speed the fucking RESPONSIBLE thing as a cop to do would be to ticket me! Logically this douche is either hypnotized by my exceedingly low-scoop shirt or he fucking knows he's WRONG!!! *Flail grouse snarl* Then he mentions a bolo on a missing gentleman and looks at dad, who's just sitting there petting Rumble.

So the cop let's me go without even a warning, just wasted time. And as dad and I drove off dad says mentions the missing person again, and says maybe the cop saw dad int eh car, and if the old man had Alzheimer's or whatever... So I think about it and then I state:

"Of course. I obviously lured you, a poor senile old man, away into my car with my big tits and a cute puppy. It's like giving candy to a baby."

And we laugh.

Still mad about the cop though.

We also gave the dogs the roundworm medication, and we're thinking it's fucking around with Filo's head. I dunno, something. Last night around 3 apparently she just went a little wild and started anxiously wandering the parents bedroom, trying to curl up against mom and dad's head to hide, and so dad let her out to go potty, and then she wanders into my room. And then she gets up on my bed and under the covers soaking wet, so I throw her under, and listen as she just paces the room rapidly panting, and then she gets up again and tries to snuggle against my head. Rumble wants to play, so paws at her, and she just snarls and goes right for his face. To which I threw her out of bed and threatened her life a few times and dragged her out of the room.

Dad, hearing the commotion came out to see what's happening as I check Rumble to see if he's okay. He was fine, a little shooken up but fine. And then Filo just continues to walk rapidly around the house, just crazy anxious, and I (in my half-asleep but slowly waking up state) realize she's upset about something. So I hang out in the living room with dad since he's awake now, and we're watching Rocko's Modern Life and keeping an eye on Filo and Rumble.

Well, I notice I can't find Rumble and dad points him out by the couch, dozing off on my shoes (awwweeee), and then we wonder where Filo is. We find her hiding behind the couch, wide eyes and just scared. We couldn't get her to eat a treat, couldn't get her to snuggle, nothing.

We can't figure out what happened. I thought maybe someone was in the house, but then Noel would be going insane, because she's usually the first to alert us to anything strange. Mom and Dad think it was the roundworm medication. Filo's still a little on edge, not as playful with Rumble as she has been, but she's calmed down enough to eat again and curl up beside someone.

We'll find out if it was the medication in about four weeks when they have to get another dose.

Took Rumble to the vet today. I was nervous the entire drive there. All I could think was that I'd somehow made a bad choice again, because let's face it, for a Boxer, Rumble isn't the most active. He doesn't really jump around frequently. He's so laid back I'm freaking out that maybe now he's actually antisocial like Barricade was. I can just imagine the doctor telling me so, and then I have to decide if I want to face that, if I should return him, if I gotta go back again and eat my joy.

Sigh. So we took him in and he took a nap in the room while we waited, and all the while I'm anxious, anxious, anxious. The assistant comes in and takes a stool sample and then we're waiting some more. Finally the doctor comes in and she checks him out, and she just adored him. *RELIEF!* She said he was a perfect temperament for a boxer, not jumping around crazy but not antisocial as well. She could already tell he had some affection for me and she told me he'd probably become a little protective when he was older, which is fine with me. It was just a huge relief, I was so happy.

Sadly though, Rumble does have roundworm. Ick. It does explain why he's so damn skinny, and also the shot that the breeder gave him is basically useless, because he's only 7 weeks, and shots should begin around 8, because before 8 their still on their mother's antibodies. Ack.

So we got some roundworm medication, some flea stuff for him because he still has a few on him and prolly eggs as well, and we also got enough roundworm medication for the other two dogs as well, since he probably passed them on to him, at least Filo because she's a poo eater. Later today I gotta pick up alllll the poop in the backyard, and then dad will come along behind me and spray the spots with bleach water, since apparently that kills the worm that might be near the ground or somethin, I dunno. The receptionist said if we didn't it's be a never ending battle with roundworm. I'll be on poop patrol for a while now xD

He's sleeping better though. We gave up the crate training fight, more or less. Ash stayed over a night, after we went to see Predators (omg awesome movie~~~ Though I was disappointed at the lack of the line: You are one UGLY motherfucker), and when we walked in he was crated in the living room and started howling and screaming as we tried to creep by. We didn't wanna wake mom and dad up, so put the crate in my room, but he KEPT screaming and howling and starting fighting at the cage, literally shaking and clawing it up, so Ash and I are both tired and we're like 'fuck it' so we put him up in the bed, he snuggles between us, and before we all fall asleep Ash mutters:

"This is like that scene from Lady and the Tramp."

Me: "Oh God. You're right."

Ash: "Who do you want to be? Jim Dear or Darling?"

Lol. I gave up on the crate training for nights, but in return, I have a snuggle bunny while I sleep, and I'm not awake as often. He'll want to play every now and then, so I might get woken up every three to four hours, instead of every single hour. And last night I fell asleep at 10:30 and wasn't woken up until 5 am, it was *bliss*.

So much friendlier, so much happier, and so much more playful. And Filo ADORES him. They are best buds now. She had him worn out and ready for a nap in a matter of minutes by playing chase with him. Gawd it was so cute~

is COVERED in fleas Dx The poor baby! We sprayed him in some flea stuff, but they all ran to his face, so we tried giving him a bath, but you can't just SPRAY him in the face, so we're trying but they're not really coming off. Anyway... we went ahead and tried getting some water in the face, gave him a good rub down. Now he's sitting in his crate for a nap, though he's up whining, but he's just goanna have to learn crate time means nap time.

When he's slept some we'll take him outside, let him go potty and rub him down in the flea stuff again and do a real thorough job.

As for tonight. Based on his reaction to the crate, my ass is sleeping in the livingroom, because it's not as suffocating for me and I can at least turn on the tv and watch.

But I already luvies him so much more! *Squeal* Ya'll will get pictures laters.

Mom, Dad and I drove into Alabama and stopped at a breeders, and then I bought a puppy. He's a boxer, reverse brindle, very sweet and playful. He and Filo are getting along AMAZINGLY. While Barricade scared the shit out of Filo, Filo and this new one took to each other right off and she played with him right into exhaustion. I got him sleeping in a crate right now, one that's prolly too small and I'll have to take back tomorrow. Ugh.

I would take it back today, but we're all worn out and I really don't feel like taking the darn thing back to petsmart. I prolly will, just to get it out of the way, but still...

We haven't really thought of a name yet. Mom wants to name him Wendell or Oliver, and I figure since AKC usually loves weird ass names, and his parents are pretty long too, I was goanna name him Poets of the Fall or something and just call him Poets. But I dunnoooo.

I just gotta prepare myself for a long few nights of whining.

*sigh*

So since I've returned home mom and dad have decided that a section of the house can just be my space, and it's my bedroom, the bathroom, and there's a spare bedroom, all on the same side of the house. Not a LOT of space, but space nonetheless. They're planning to set up some cafe doors to the small hallway and I'm free to do what I please with the areas. So in the spare bedroom, I repainted the walls and we took out a LOT of the furniture and junk. We'd been using it for crap we just weren't sure what to do with, or whenever we don't want something we put it in there until it piles up and we can ship it off to a goodwill or somethin.

Just some pics of the renovation. I'm very proud. This is my first big project pretty much alone =) Mom and dad took their stuff out and dad helped with the taping off of the upper border, but it was mostly moi~

*Proud!*