JediMasterBater's blog post - May 2019

This month has been a whirlwind for me. It started off very rough and emotional for me when I found one of my clients deceased in his room after he'd taken his own life. I've found that even though I have been/still am processing it in a healthy (I think?) sort of way I'm still dealing with the aftermath. I'm experiencing a little bit of anxiety and hyper-vigilance at work; the other day when I didn't see someone up and about I had a minor panic and couldn't concentrate or focus on anything until I went up and checked his room. He was out, he was fine, all was well. I think I just need a bit more time. The other man's family came to get some of his belongings and spend time with some other residents and staff who knew him well. We'd had a service for him already and had some memorial items for them including a book where people could share their memories. I was away, but I wish I'd been there. It really helped my heart to know that he was so loved--he was an unforgettable man and will be fondly remembered by all of those whose lives he touched.

Not long after this happened, I was invited to go to a training out of town because my colleague who had been scheduled to go was not longer able to. I agreed to it without much thought because it was an opportunity to get some space and not have to try to go back to my normal routine right away. And I'm so glad that this opportunity came up because I had an amazing time and learned so much. Now I get to teach this content to people which I think I will really enjoy. The field I work in can feel kind of hopeless at times, but having some extra tools to draw on to help people makes a world of difference and learning among my peers and hearing their struggles and successes in their work places totally energizes me, sparks ideas, and gives me hope.

Then I went back to work for one day and then took a, long time scheduled, retreat in the mountains. It also did me a world of good: fresh mountain air + good food + great friends + writing + endless laughter = full body, mind, and soul healing.

My heart is on the mend and I'm starting to get excited for summer. I'll be in the ocean every single day if you need me