In my house my temper is kinda legendary. I only fully lose it maybe once a year but when it goes, even the goldfish hide!
Last year I did something really stupid that I'm not going into here. My cousin in the states flew me and my daughter out to stay with her for a large part of the summer so I could heal and get better.
This summer I'm going back over, but have been saving for our own flights and I'm damned sick of instant noodles, I can tell you. I've even given up chocolate to get this.money saved!
Anyhow, I was looking up flight prices and discussing dates with my daughter when the stray piped up that I had to get three seats together. Three?? I was like, wtf? So being me, I actually said what the fuck, and the stray says "well I'm coming too, we're family". For you to understand my reaction a little I'll refer you to my blog about Mother's day and her comment that I wasn't her mother and didn't deserve a card even though without me she'd be on the streets. I think my chin hit my chest which with my boobs is a.long way down!
OK, I said, you give me the.money for your flight and I'll book your seat with us. Her father gave her £800 for Christmas. She looked blank and said she thought I was paying her flight. Whaaaaat? Where's your Christmas money gone? asks me. She says she spent it. On what? On fucking what?because you didn't give me a fucking penny after I've kept you in food, clothes and everything you've needed for 15 months!! I spent it on gifts she says. Bullshit says I. All her gifts were from the pound store. By now, I had serious head wobble going and my daughter started to laugh. Bad move when the countdown is on for my.temper. I shot her a deadly look which only made her giggle more. Vicious circle time. The stray then decides it's time to flounce away and slam a door in MY home. And we have lift off!! I was up those stairs like my arse was on fire, reading her the x-rated language version of the rules of my house. It's at that point I spot the carpet in her bedroom has a large burn in it from straighteners. I think if you'd been looking at the sky about an hour ago, you would have seen me flame past!! I gave her it all, how she's selfish, lazy, a pisstaker and that she doesn't need to eat three times a fucking day when she's sat on her arse all day long! This, which is rare for me, at full volume. I could have torn her head off and shit down her neck right then, and all I can hear is my kid crying with laughter. Let's just say that unless she gets a job (she's almost 19 after all) she will not be coming to the states with us this year, and you know what? I'd prefer that.
Downstairs I took one look at my daughter's face, red from sobbing with laughter and my temper broke and I started chuckling with her, she described me as looking like a rabid chicken when I lost it and that really tickled me. The stray came down and ripped into both of us for.laughing at her which increased our laughter because we weren't!
She slammed off to bed and it's lovely and peaceful right now
