I have several cats, all of them with different personalities but one, Picky Picky is a little more different than the others. She had a traumatic birth and her eyes didn't open til she was 11 weeks old. She's got mild brain damage. It doesn't affect her usual functions but she's so damned funny. She's overly loving to the point that if you stroke her she will fall over in bliss. She'll jump and miss her target, her tongue is always hanging out and if you play with her with string she's 30 seconds or more behind.
So today I cleaned out the mouse house. It's a big clear plastic thing. After cleaning them I tend to put them in the lounge to watch them as the fascinate me. Picky arrived and sat beside them. There's three mice in the cage. Her eyes didn't know which way to go and ended up cross-eyed which started me giggling. She then tried to pounce towards the cage and missed. She got back up and was sat watching when one of the mice shot out of the bed area and made her jump. Backwards off the table and onto the floor, she just laid there like wtf? Cue me crying with laughter. Poor thing isn't even smart enough to style it out!!

We're all bought up differently in regards nudity in the family home, I accept that but a while ago a father I know received a shower pic from his late twenties daughter. I was horrified, he thought it was cool because she was pulling a face. The same father constantly makes comments about his younger daughter's boobs. He also comments on his sons bodies.
Is he the wrong'un or am I for feeling very uncomfortable with it?

To say I'm not good at going out of the house is an understatement and for the last few months I've got worse (If that's possible!) so today I pulled on my big girl panties and took the puppy for a walk along the beach.

It was warm but cloudy, quiet, only a few people around. The pup behaved perfectly and I enjoyed myself thoroughly! I'm so glad I did it. Who knows, maybe I'll do it again tomorrow.......

I'm working hard every day at getting over him then today I went and did something really stupid and ended up hurting myself. I scrolled back through my old statuses on here and there they were, the ones we first chatted on, the ones where we were falling in love, the ones after we'd met and been together and my life was awesome, then my final one where I closed up and left so I could focus on just him. It was a stupid thing to do and especially on a Friday. Friday used to be the most exciting day of the week, looking forward to a whole weekend with him....for four years that was my life.
I'm still free falling, still bumping into memories. After almost a year that should have passed, right? I still can't even listen to music, what's that all about??

Sorry for the moan, but this is an adult place with adults who have been there, done that.

Stay sexy xxx

So yesterday I found out some excellent news...I've been accepted into a University course I have always wanted to do. I'm doing forensic science and forensic psychology, then if I pass that, criminology sciences!! It's going to be one of the harder things I have achieved for myself but I am so thrilled!!!

I'm gonna rant, you don't need to comment but right now I think I feel steam coming out of my ears.
Just over 14 months ago I gave a home to a girl whose mother and mothers bf had split. Mother fucked off on her own then into another relationship and cut the daughter dead and has never offered a penny for her keep. I have fed, clothed, housed, taken her to hospital, nursed her...and I heard my youngest ask her for help to cook dinner tomorrow as it's Mother's Day. Her reply? She's not my mother so why should I? Right now I feel like showing her the fucking door!!

I was asked if I am happy. I'm not but I'm content, there's just one person missing, just one hole in my life.
Am I unhappy? Occasionally, but isn't everyone like that?
Am I lonely? Again, occasionally, same as everyone else.
I don't have all I want in my life, not by a long chalk, but right now I have all I need.
Am I lucky? I was lucky, within ten weeks of my appendix being blown apart by a tumour, the whole of my large intestine and 21 lymph nodes was in the incinerator at the hospital. I was lucky the docs did it keyhole, though that still conjures up the image of Punch and Judy and a string of sausages.
This time around my ride on the medical carousel may cost me the rest of my bowel, but I'll still be lucky. Not many people get to fart in a bag!
My abdomen is misshapen and out of proportion but I'm lucky. I'm lucky to live to see that, I'm lucky my granddaughter can snuggle on it, I'm lucky I can look in a mirror and hate it. So yeah, I'm content. I have what many people don't.
Contentment comes with acceptance I've found.



There is only one constant in life, only time is eternal.

Four and a half years ago I statused that I was 'stepping out for a while' and came back yesterday. I left because I fell in love with a man from here, Inlinefour. I won't say he was very single throughout our relationship although he wasn't single as he said on here, I won't say he was selfish and narcissistic, all I will say is that saying you'll love someone forever, would follow them to hell and back and would never cheat on them all becomes paper thin words when within three weeks of breaking up he's on holiday with another woman, one who gets all the acknowledgement that she matters from him that I never got. Compliments were 'unnecessary ego boosting' apparently.
He had his good points, and some great points. He was AMAZING in bed, funny, the best looking bloke I've ever seen, but shadows grow long.
In the years I've been gone I had emergency surgery, I've fought and beaten cancer. I only lost half my bowel to it, I consider that a win. A win that was ruined by the man whinging that no one supported or gave him attention whilst I was in a very bad way. He was the one dealing with the worst side of it apparently. Let's move on....

I've been to America, that was on my bucket list.
I'm a grandma!!
I've changed cars, hairstyles, decorated my house twice over, laid my dear dog to rest, unleashed an insane puppy on my life....you know, all the little every day stuff.

I'm now nine months single, mended, healed, content. Time to live again.

It still feels like home here and I think I'm glad to be back